I AM DONE!

Ok I made my 500K CPs

Now I will make you all jealous for a few moments.

This month I cashed out 33K AND extended my online BR by 16K. Completion of my best month ever feels gooooood. Though 12,500$ of that was from the xmas promo. Still a nice 35K +++ month is good for me.

Now I will make you all feel sympathy for me. I am playing on FT again, which I did get a nice cash for 13K (6th in the 150$Rebuy on Sunday, 1st was 68K ,sigh) BUT I just know this is the beginning of a good rush that will lead to months of frustration down the line and take time away from me playing on PDC where I am promised almost to never have a losing month. Oh well, I will live it while I got it.

No other great news, except I officially have my driving privaledges reinstated tomorrow... yay

Will have better postings soon, I have been a stay at home hermit for about 45 days now, usually nothing interesting when that happens.... Ill have a new place and lifestyle soon... yay


Fun Fact - Diet pop tastes like shit in high altitude

I am a BOT

I am a bot.

MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS!

Merry Christmas all!

I am 40K CPs away from unlocking the last 5K in promo money... umm I got zero presents for christmas... I suck... I bought presents for a few family members though, and one for a friend. Though the one for the friend was a selfish gift give, I bougth him a copy of NHL09 for PS3 so I could work him over... See how that goes.

I have been running like complete dog shit for the past week or so, I can't seem to turn a profit, I take big stabs every time I get my feet back underneath myself. I played 5-10 with someone who is same level as me, he thinks he is unreal good. So I get coolered with AK v KK early, yea we played for stack, then I run tptk A9 vs 1010 on a 3bet pre I initiated 9 3 2 flop ofc I am getting in, then I raise with K4s he flats with 88 flop 8 4 4 ........ He ran like god so I gave him a couple thousand, not too bad. But this one is way worse, this guy "Planet777" who by the way is already broke... We had been playing 100 and 200$ HU sitgos for about a week, I am about to log off I tell him I will sit in a 500$ for 3 minutes then I am going to bed, we we start a session and he wins 9 of 11 500 and 1K sitgos just raping me with 3 outters sticking it in so bad, I wanted to puke, dumped like 6-7K to him. So I have almost climbed back from that, still about 2500$ shy of where I began the week but I unlocked 2500$ from the promo, so I am really feeling further behind.

Looked as if I was going to have a 30K month on the smallest of sites when I play medium stakes but I shot that out of the sky, 25K is the new goal, see if I can refrain from fucking up too badly.

Umm nothing else too fascinating... hope u all had a good Christmas or whatever you celebrate...

Had To End Sometime.....

Well, I crossed the 300K CP mark, which is goot. What is bad about that is I got stuck for about 2800$ today, and about 1000$ on Monday (yesterday) so this means my streak of winning days is over. I don't think I had a negative day all month til these 2, kinda pissed about it. Running insanely cold. Does not matter what I do I am just behind by 5th st, so I resorted to making plays on 5-10 and got away with 2, got caught on one and I know he was bluffing me back and I would have called him with Q high on a double paired board (KK10102) But my 76 did not have much prayer to an all in bet.

Hopefully can knock out the last 200K CP and turn back that 4K from the last couple days and I will be good to go and have a massive month for my standards.

I bought a new ipod.

I bought a new LCD TV, found a 42" LG for under 700$ DLVD so could not turn it down.

I spent 2200$ on a bedroom set but it is baller and was like 4000-5500$ on other sites.

I spent 120$ on "novelty t-shirts" because I was bored.

I spent 400$ on amazon on random shit

And I need a bad ass computer and going to buy one sometime this week, suggestions in comment box plz, I am lacking knowledge of what I want to run poker sites smoothly.

I spend too much money when tables are hard to get going....... I need a ban

I am thinking about buying a star to have it named after me.

Ummmmmmmmmmmm about all my delerious mind will spit out right now. I am tired and going to sleep, I will prob wake up at 5 AM and find no games running and wind up dropping more than I can make on amazon or something.

May all your hands be live and all your flops be monsters!

END

Okie Dokie Silly Okie Oh

Day 11 of the xmas promo, I am half way home ALMOST, at 236K mid day.... Have DUI School tonight and tomorrow night, and will be going to the casino finally tomorrow. Having withdrawals from not being "home".

Kickin ass on PDC, only one really really really bad swing to me, I was up about 2K on a 5-10 game that had almost no value on it, and I kept playing.... I don't know why. I spewed my whole stack off and maybe another 500 so lost 1500ish. So thats a 3500$ swing in my monthly profit due to stupidity. At the moment though up almost 11K on PDC (half sitgos half ring games pretty much) and + another 2500$ that has been unlocked for the promo, and 10K more from the promo and whatever I can salvage on the tables from here on out.

Debating going to Tunica at the end of January also with a buddy of mine who turns 21 and wants to go out and play a WSOP Circuit Event. Sooooo maybe I will do that and have some successes. Also the "Heartland Poker Tour" is coming to a casino really close to me in early February, so if anyone want's to come do that head on down to NE OKLAHOMA BABY! It is just a ton of Satellites and a 1K Main Event with a lot of side tables running I assume, more than there is now.

I got some FT Funds again, and already have had some fun... I play 2-4 HU with a guy and get him stuck 1500$ I have 2000$ to his 400$, well I don't quit playing as per request of Jay, and I didn't tell Jay (til he comes flying across the house to find his computer to read my blog post when he wakes up) but I went from 2K to 400$ to a 0$ to 2400$ stack in 6 dealt hands................. Was pretty sick, one was self inflicted. Other was kind of self inflicted.

Ran deep in a couple tourneys too, got 25th in the 165$ Tourney and 27th in a 1500 player +++ 26$ tourney, no love deep though.

Here is a song to listen to after you read this fine post. One of my favorites....

Steve Earle - Hard Core Troubadour

Everything else he sings sucks, he is country, but this song really not country...

OUT

A poker related post? What?

Why do I keep getting myself into these weird situations where I'm OOP and my range is so polarized to sets/nuts/air? And you'd think I'd have the set/nuts some of the time right? No, because I keep showing up with air and they keep calling because lets face it: nobody ever folds. Especially to me. AND! they're calling with relatively strong hands that were obviously misplayed on an earlier street and thus ambiguously disguised to an over aggressive maniacal lagtard like myself.

[INSERT MANY SWEAR WORDS HERE]

Oh, and I am running like 5.6xPTbb over my last 100k hands so be jealous bitches.

Now I'm going to do something I haven't ever done before and probably won't do again: Readers choice.

That's right, you can decide what I'm going to write about in my next post. When it will come, I do not know but rest assured it will be more entertaining than anything dudu vomits onto here. For the love of all that is unholy, how can any of you tolerate his dribble? Nevertheless, I'm getting off track. So...leave a comment requesting something you'd like to see me ramble on about and I'll oblige. And since we have like a total of 3 readers here, obviously not including mentally handicapped dudu fans, I'll just randomly select a topic.

Random topic suggestions:
live poker
internet poker
my ever depleting prophylactic supply
politics
movies
drunken atlantic city trips with poker room shennenigans and debauchury
hitting people in the face and not injuring yourself
hitting people in the face and then having them injure you
life tilt
ignoring your own blog and the 2.5 people who read it. Hi mom.

or whatever your black little hearts desire.

Also, you can e-mail us at fcukmoney[at]Gmail.com but if you're stupid, don't do it because chances are I'll just delete your e-mail. On the other hand, if it's really stupid, I'll post it here.

Jay

140K CPs, Intense Game of Madden, Ummm Running Poorly

Just had intense game of Madden on PS3, my team Dallas Cowboys obv vs the NE Pats.

I got down 21-7 by half time, only 5 minute quarters so this is almost a sure loss because I am playing someone who is pretty good but plays like a douche. He runs the same plays over and over and uses hurry up offense. I countered it really well though in the 2nd half. I got ball first score making it 21-14 him then I go for an onside with like 7 minutes left in the game, since I am like confident he can score every drive I figure I will start onside kicking now and give him short field for quick possessions and get 3 or 4 chances at an onside kick. Well I get it on the first try luckily and I throw a pick.... So sick, I had 3 picks in the game and 2 of them were super sick that he did himself, just read my preferred target well, and it was not T.O. he picked off mye 2nd - 5th receiver a lot and shut them down.

So I run a CB blitz and force a fumble then get the TD to tie, but I go for 2 to put pressure on him and I get it making it 22-21 he gets the ball back and I get a pick on him on just a horrible play by me. He rolls out wide with his QB and I pull a CB off Moss and Moss is running a vertical route and he is WIDE THE FUCK OPEN and he does not see him!!!!!!! I was just staring at Moss thinking "shit" and he does not see him.... Was amazing and he throws a pick, his first mistake.

Then there is 3 minutes left I run the ball he calls TO I run again making it 3rd and 2 to go he blows another TO I throw a slant route since he brought 8 or 9 after me and pick the first up, then start kneeling on it too early, leave myself 25 seconds left at mid field so I punt he calls fair catch at the 12 yard line. Then his 2nd mistake, he runs a play he has been running all game and I knew he would, a little screen to Moss where he intended on picking up 10-40 yards and going out of bounds. BUT I took a lineman and brought him all the way to the sideline and pinned him inbounds after he caught it, he got 20 yards or so but I forced him to stay inbounds and GG I beat a level 14 (his record was 82-16) BOOM


I have 140K Comp Points, not paced for a million but I say no thanks to going for the whole million. I am starting to play awful at times just spewing money. I lose like every flip in those damn HU sitgos last 3 days after running very well the first 3 days. I suck at ring games under 5-10 I try to do too many fancy retard things and it does not work out for me at all. So one day I will control that. I am beat tired and have to stay awake for another 12 hours roughly, bleh.

I get my DL back in like 11 days! Stoked about that.... Driving privaledges... yesssss.... I spent 3000$ on some furniture for my new place (some couches a bad ass TV stand couple tables all I got so still need some other shit) for whenever I get off my ass and go find one, staying at the folks house at the moment getting this DUI school done. Only pros to that is food that is not frozen exists. I can not cook..... And I don't particularly like cleaning either. Can't decide if I want to go back to Colorado or stay here in Oklahoma closer to family, prob will stay here but still slightly uncertain.

Also finding secret santa sitgos is tough, so I have resorted to signing up for all the sitgos between 50c and 2$ and just sitting out in the non santa ones, I had 38 pulled up on Thursday night and PDC was running SOOOOOOO SLOOOOW. Have played prob 80 of them and found 6 santas and have failed to win one. Sigh.

Have had a few people comment on the blog on PDC, did not think that ANYONE read this, but glad to know someone reads my jibberish and Jays hostile keyboard punching when he can remember his password to this and find time out of his plots and schemes to leave a few words behind.

I need a haircut.

Workin On The Night Crewwwww

90K CPs so far, I am already sick of playing and starting to run awful in the HU sitgos, and playing poorly from what someone I have been playing fairly regularly over the 3 days. So at this pace I would be like 100K CP short of the mark, buuut I will probably give up before I make 1 Million anyways, would be awfully hard to find the motivation to win a WSOP package with no incentives other than anything I would be able to profit in through the duration of an exhausting month as is with christmas and all and not lose my head and play insanely awful just to spend 5-10K and 140 hours to win a WSOP package.. But we will see when I make it to 500K how I feel.

I suck at 6 man sitgos... I can not find a "secret santa" sitgo which is required I find about 15-30 of these to collect the money for the promotion.

Played a couple small sessions at 5-10 today, one I doubled and the other I quadrupled adding 4K to my account without ever having to rebuy on the table! Not even for 50-200$!!!!!! Superb, and won the 109$ tourney that had a massive field of 12 players today! Though I had to rebuy :(

Early AM now and the games are just insane dead...

Christmas Promo FREEE MONEY

I am falling in love with HU Sitgos amazingly, when I have always hated them... I am just doing too well in them and 90% of the people you play are absolute fish, and almost make me feel bad for them, they just have no clue what to do when to do it how to do it, it is just awful... Sometimes I want to tell them to not play anymore, but they all play me 3-5 times and dump 3-5 times usually and quit. Just busting their accounts I am sure, people you don't see on cash tables. Just people who are up late and playing out of boredom.

So this month thus far I have made 57K Comp Points in a short time, easily can make the 1 million points I think and get 12,500$ and a WSOP Package worth 12,500$ +++ I could easily win the sitgo leaderboard for another 2000$ and I am up almost 4000$ at the moment for the month in just sitgos and the small tourneys the site has and in only about 15 hours of playing. So could be a sweet month as long as I keep my head and focus when I play all these sitgos.


Get a life Jay....

Spelling Test Today! :(

So today we had a spelling test, it went good I got 23 of 25 right. I missed one I should have gotten, SepArate! So silly of me.

So when I got home I told my father, who is a lush about how well the test went. His eyes running down the paper noticing the world I missed so recklessly, and his grin went to a cold icy face. Then all of a sudden a tear fell out of his eye, it was at this time I had come to conclusion he was drunk, but maybe he was not? He fell to his knees and started to weep, staring at the word "separate".

Then as quickly as he had shiften into weeping he became furious! Crumpled my test up and threw it at me, this threw me into the wall when it made contact with me. I picked myself off the floor and tried to run, but he grabbed a hold of me by my shirt collar and took me down. He beat me profusely until I said "uncle". Laughing like a drunken fool he finally wore himself out and fell asleep watching Malcom In The Middle in the living room.

So now it is almost bed time, I am not allowed to watch TV after 7 O'Clock as you already know my silly willy private blog that noone knows about :) I <3 U

I will be asleep having wetdreams about the JC Penneys Womens Jeans Catalog that came in the mail last week, talk to you tomorrow blog!

Our readers are idiots! Big surprise! Part Deux

I can't believe you people enjoy dudu's posts. I've tried to read them on several occassions, but it's just so pitiful I can barely bring myself to finish a paragraph. What is it exactly that you enjoy about them? The transvestite strippers he touches? Stories about his unspoken homosexual relationship with long bag john or whoever it is he's exchanging intimate glances with in his live 2-5 game? Or maybe the posting of an entire session of hand histories from a 1-2 game? Yeah.

The kid has the mental function of a sixth grader with downs syndrome...wait a minute...that's it. No wonder all of you can relate.

Pricks.

I'll post a life update at a later time...provided I can still afford to pay my cable and electric bills.

Dudu, buy me a PS3 for christmas so I can routinely give you beatings in Madden or whatever it is you play.

Jay

P.s. You're all aholes.

I'm not dead.

Daduweewah: " i think FT is just a giant penis wrapped up in sandpaper"



lol?

Wellzers

I am bored and have nothing to blog about, I can't sleep despite eating a sleeping pill.... OTC not prescription, I am not a pill head just insomniac, was watching a show the other day about sleep, and decided that none of what was on the show related to me... Said the sunlight gives us energy and that we have internal clocks and if we miss too much sleep our bodies won't be normal until we have caught up as many hours of sleep that we are short of................ hmmm...... and all sorts of jibberish that made no sense whatsoever.

I am pissed at Full Tilt again, I swear that it is just fucking wrong... I can not win a race if I am 3+ hours into an MTT, which is why maybe the turbo tourneys are the only thing I ever fucking click in... What the fuck am I doing wrong? I just don't get it, do I really need to have literal 40K slides in MTTs??? I mean shit.... it is just absurd how cold I am in anything worth mentioning.

Bad Bad Bad Weekend.....

Ok so did not get very far in coming back tonight.

Lost another 1500ish game was not very pumped up tonight, just not much money in flow and it felt like a Sunday night after a hard weekend of partying, you know when you are aware you have to go back to work the next day and everything feels so drab, the last NFL game finished up, your not 100% yet, everything feels a little dark, the atmosphere is just shot, no life anywhere. That is how tonight felt so I did not play too much.

One hand, I flop nuts in the omaha round with Ac6c4d5d flop 3 5 7 with 2 hearts, well I get all in for my 1100$ on the flop vs a guy who was hammered drunk....

He has 3498....... in my suits..... heh, turn is a 5- 3 outs all he has and he binks it, was my night pretty much, then I dumped off another stack to him with AK 10 2 on a 2 6 7 flop he calls 700 on the flop after I repot pre he manages to call this 700 with JJ45.... binks an 8 I failto make 2 pair or trips on him and hold off the other card, oh well....

Tomorrow online day, gonna recover, gotta go buy a ton of furniture on Monday for my new place which I have not found yet but hunting for, so gonna be a big dent in my cash supply but oh well, gotta do it....

Dubble Posts

Sooo atleast I made up for my casino losses online, played Cantum 10-20 HU and took 3500$ from him, was up about 8K buuuuut couple rough hands in the end and I need sleep.

I am a fish, still angry about the casino night, fucking muppets priding themselves off making sick calls only, hes such a fish seriously, and I could not get into a spot with him like I did when we played heads up, but then again heads up hand ranges are way different and situations arise nearly every hand, so whatever I will get him back, he won't be able to muck top pair to me, just venting still over the whole thing. I need to make it up to the casino today but I just may not, but I need to.......


Blibbity bloobity

Jay quit hiding and post you yankee!

I has had a goot title, but has forgotten.

OK OK OK OK.....

So last week(end)ish?

I had talked about playin "sick calls John"

So this week I go play the weekend 2-5 game, just Friday thus far, so tomorrow still to follow, but tonight I am broken as a person, I feel busted and hurt.

No lies.

Noooo liiiieeeees.


I just feel broken.

A couple hands that did not go my way, just a couple breaks I could not get to fall towards me, in other words a couple trees I had been chopping my axe at that fell towards me, when I was chopping them to fall away from me, in the clear, this is how poker is. This is what poker is supposed to be like, but you know, it just happens sometimes, I am certain most people have seen the Full Tilt commercial where Gus Hansen says "some nights you just have control of the table, lead all the pots lead all the action and still nothing goes right"

This is how tonight felt. It happens but it feels my confidence is busted up pretty bad when it should not be.

So, a run down of tonight then my week since I have been behind.

Tonight I play the 100$ buyin and donk out in a heart beat.

Tonight I play 1-2 and run sooo good but yet soooo bad some sick hands but that is irrellevant because it is 1-2.

Tonight I play the 2-5 and I get a few hands go against me, I tilt, I play bad, I deserve to lose tonight.

Here is the last hand I played tonight.

With the fella I played HU last week 10-20 "sick calls John"

I am SB with about 2600$

cards dealt in Holdem round.

I get XX? XX? Read further for answer and for your input

all limps to me, I make it 40$ to go from the SB, out of position from everyone at the table.

Sick calls John sits in the seat to my left and calls, 2 others call.

Flop comes

Qd 8d 3h

I bet 125$

"John" calls

One other calls and other folds.

Turn is a 3c

I check

Sick calls John bets 275$

Other folds and I move all in for roughly 2200$ more.

after a speech I moved in, a long speech which I gave a few of after a few hands I had monsters in the HU match with him, and he quotes "if you had not given any speech during the hand I would have already called"

So I think I am about to win the pot, I have represented a big hand like AQ or AA KK raisign so much pre, and this guy.... this guy calls with 99..... just a gross call that can in now way shape or form be +EV, not even versus me.

Ship him the cheddar I guess all I can say.



INNNNN other news, Full Tilt has allowed me to catch a card or two lately, been slowly building a roll on there, and I am soooo thrillllled. It feels awesome, this is the time of year I started rushing last year and I think I am about to heat up and can not wait to see what happens, so stay fuckin tuned!

UmMmmmMMMmmmmmmmMMMmMmMmmmmmMMMm.


Getcha Pop Kawn reddy?

Joe! hope your night finished well... Hope you decided to keep up with my blog! You better post a comment if you did.


All otherwise, I will leave a post by Monday, I should be able to recover 2K tomorrow night, no drinking no goofing uncontrollably. Will be there to let it roll baby, sick calls John will be feeling the hurt doubting life if he thinks he can do stuff like that versus me on a normal basis. I got him where I want him now, not that I did not before but now any time I have the nuts count on a gross overbet he can not apparently find the discipline to fold to.


G'day.

James

Not Droppin Limits Live

Still running excellent in live cash games.

This weekend played at the casino, show up Friday evening bust the tourney with 68h first level AI pre 3 way pot did not wanna play. Dropped 6 buyins on a 1-2 table, 1200$ gone in less than 1 hour. Hope over to the 2-5 Holdem Omaha game get stuck for 800$ or so quickly, get back to up 400$ on that table then some younger guy who refers to himself as "Sick Calls John" gets shitted into playing me HU 10 20 Holdem so we play for 30 minutes I stack him slowly, dominating every pot had control of all the action, he seemed pretty shattered, is his casino I just got back from Colorado 6 weeks ago, he was prob making the most money of any regular, but he is still so bad. He is fine on a full ring but so exploitable in a HU match.

Then the next day I go buy a shit ton of useless stuff at the mall, bought a 300$ pair of shades I don't need, spent 900$ on clothes I do need but will lose or never use. So was even on the weekend after the mall, and I hate the mall, but dammit I wanna be 16 again, miss those days.

Turned 23 on the 9th, few days ago. I keep forgetting this happened, I feel so old now. Absolutely sucks.

So on Saturday the 2-5 HO game was super super soft, so many pots worth 2K-4K and I got a couple of them, pone guy tilting so bad, this redneck drops about 3500$ most of which to me, one and only hand I will share briefly.

I have A 10 10 9 with nut spades, I limp early, button makes it 20$ to go, well below pot, me and another call mid position pots it to 120$ roughly, button calls with 1500 in his stack I call with 2500ish in my stack and the guy behind me (the redneck) looks pained but calls the 100$ extra.

Flop Jh 10d 3c

I check first redneck checks the guy who potted moves all in for 100 and change, button calls I make it 700$ to go, redneck shoots me a look, pained look and calls 700$ I say outloud "well this will determine how my night goes" button folds.

Turn 2h

I move the redneck all in for his 800ish he is pained and calls

I am like ooook I turn my 101010 over with A9

Shorty turns over AA 99!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! REDNECK HAS KQ63!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I dodge 2 outs since he needs A or 9, I scoop the pot, easy game this poker.

Hoo Rah

Well today first day of dropped limits. Played some small MTTs on .com, cause they are so loaded with $$$.

I managed to take first in the 2 biggest tourneys on .com today. Yay, was not thrilling at all.

Last night played one of the 5$ rebuys and rebought 26 times, people were talking so much shit to me.... It is amazingly funny how in a 5$ game people will tell you how bad you play and tell you how you could play better and what you did wrong and just talk as if they know every angle of the game, but if you play a higher dollar game noone says anything to you when you make a mistake, except the fish who decided to gamble and play a higher dollar game.

So anyways I rebought 26 times and added on and paid entry, spent 140.50$ on the tourney. Winner gets like 325$, somehow I win it to the dismay of everyone.

Won the 109$ won the 3500$ got 2nd in a 1000$ lost a buttload of sitgos debating trying to make run for the sitgo thing, free 2K + profits, don't really like the idea as much as I did a couple days ago.

Cant get anything going on Cake, still broke on FT.

I do have 225K FTP and can not decide what to do with them?

It is hard to find a girlfriend in my living room :(


DUI School tomorrow and Friday! Yea Boyyyy

And I am playin in a travelin band!

Online Poker......

Online Poker USA

Is skating on thin ice with me.

It is just so up and down. When you are running bad on a site you are running so bad that you can't even win a hand in the gaps. Given I know I run good sometimes, and my good outweighs the bad, but I just can not stay focused to be profitable as much as I should be.

Yea I whine about online poker a lot, this thing that has put well over 6 digits through my bank in 2 years when I have nothing but a high school diploma and a couple semesters of college.

I need another hobby, so I bought an off roading vehicle a "Samurai" which will give me something to do. This should be fun, used to offroad in a a couple friends trucks when I was younger, nothing more fun. Now I have a truck meant for it, it was actually cheap too, got it for 1500$. Can't wait to find a warm day to use it.

Get my DL back in about 4 weeks, when this happens I think I will actually be able to focus online and live. I think I am just burnt out.


I am down like 9K in the past 24 hours. Some on Full Tilt some on PDC. Played HU with 2 guys today on PDC, one I get AK make 30$ to go popped to 110$ by him flop K 2 3 withj 2 hearts he bets I just elect to call turn another heart he bets I shove he holds AA clearly. Then I 3 bet another guy pre with AQ flop Q 5 6 he holds 66 nh gg. Couldn't catch a break at all today, stole every pot I won almost firing 3 bets, and making one hero call with 56 on a 445210 board for almost my whole stack.

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm my spirits are low right now, but it has happened before and it will happen again. Being on the downfall is never a high point.


So the new life gameplan?

Going to slow down a lot, drop limits again, be happy to make 3-5K a month + any lucky scores I stumble into which happen all at once for some reason. Get back into college, perhaps finish up there. Play more live poker, have something to do each day besides wake up and play poker from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep, not a very fulfilling life. Time goes too fast to do this, just want to do something more, but not headed in the right direction to do that. Someone lead me in the right direction!

Live Poker SO MUCH BETTER

So I am in Tulsa playing the Scotty Poker shit. He is not here, and will not be here due to his HORSE showing. He is getting shit canned as far as I know, and I am glad.

So anyways, nothing awesome has happened, I am like "even" for the trip, have failed to cash in a tourney. A couple really good hands I have been in though, all I am going to post really.

But before that I will bitch about live tourney crowds, they are nasty, I am sick. I have gotten sick both times I went to Vegas and now sick at this deal. Every time I go to take a piss I see 3 guys I play with pissing or coming out of a stall and not washing their fucking hands. God dammit that pisses me the fuck off.

Ok first I will tell how I lost 2K on a self inflicted bad beat.

I am racking up 4500$ off a 2-5 table ( I bought 2500$ of these chips) to move to the main table, so while I am racking the dealer asks if I want one more hand, I say "yes" because I notice I am UTG and can straddle. So I straddle to 10$ 5 or 6 come in for the limp and I make it 100$ more on top of the 10, I go back to racking my chips and only see 1 call from the opposite side of the table, flop comes down 10s9s3d I have 10d6d, and I say "I am all in" and go back to racking my chips....... 30 seconds pass and I look at the shorty and he is sitting there doing nothing just staring at me like he has nothing to do. So I flip my 6d over. (since I assume I have him beat) Then this happens, out of my left ear I hear "I CALL" and see 2K in chips start moving towards the middle and the shorty quickly folds. Well I am up against a sneaky son of a bitch who called the 100$ without me seeing somehow and holds QQ. Turn gives me a gutshot and a flush draw to add to a two pair draw but I miss and ship 2100$ to him. Was my daily profit and as of now my weeks profit.


I coolered someone in a 4000$ pot with AJ v A2, flop A J 2 turn 10 riv is the case A, and versus me he can't fold his hand, I am a reckless idiot live.

Ummmm last hand no need to go into detail, but I busted a 500$ Omaha event witn JJ68 (im rainbow didn't even need to be in the hand)

flop is Jc 10c 5d

Me JJ68
Another KQ55
Another Ac Qc 10 10
Another Kc Qx 9c 8x

SICK SICK SICK SICK this flop is by far the most action packed flop I have ever seen in my life. Hands down.

None the less KQ 55 wins the pot lol, like I had a prayer to hold anyways.


I am going to bed I feel like shit will have good stories again one day soon.

G'Day

Sick Cooler

So I am playin these live tourneys at a casino in Tulsa Oklahoma, played 1 tiourney this morning and lasted all of 15 hands, I was legally drunk from the night before, went to a minor league hockey game, and a couple bars, was a long long night.

But anyways, I have no order in anything when I type. Friday I played some 2-5 at the casino nearest me on my way out of town, got stuck for 3500$ was kinda drunk, and running poor, and playing poor. Stacked off on semi bluffs with few outs, and got hero called, this frustrated me to no end, noone ever makes a hero call on me it seems, noone has the balls to chance it, I had mid pair and gutshot on flop in omaha, and was up against KKXX like I thought I was, (or AAXX obv) and I had pot the flop on 2 5 6 with 2 hearts, pot was 180$, so I get called in 2 places, turn is another 2 non heart, both check, I think to myself "how can I rep a monster?" So I bet 200$ into over 500$, I get called in one spot, then I move all in for 800$ and change on the river which is not a heart guy tanks and calls with the KKXX, so sick... messed my head up for a bit and I tossed the other 2K away quickly playing bad hands and just not giving up, though I almost clawed even. But had some brutal luck, didn't have right state of mind, was just too focused on getting "even" when thats not the way to play a game at any time, so I deserved to lose.

Then today was the first tourney I played, 550$ buyin, had like 140 players I think, small fields thus far I have heard, kind of dissapointing. But I busted it first level playing AA like a nimrod.

Played some 2-5 afterwards, up down up down, no cap buyin, I bought 500$ and was up to 1300$ or so, then lost a few pots got caught running plays, was down to 700ish and the table was growing so I get up and buy another 1K to add to my stack sit down have about 1700$ in front now and I kid you not within 5 hands this hand happens.

I am dealt AJo in early and make it 15$ to go (was making small raises prob 30% of hands, and larger raises in position, was very very active) get 2 calls and the flop is A J 2 with 2 hearts

Me and the big stack are in the hand, he has me covered and is the only one who does, I lead out with 30$ one folds and he calls me, the turn is a 10h I check and he checks behind.

Now this guy has been checking behind (in position) with big hands all day to try to throw people off, and it works vs a lot of people. It is the strongest way to play your hand in these games, people just auto assume you are bluffing, this kid was one of the better players I have played with in this state.

Anyways, the river falls an ace, board reading A J 2 10 A with 3 hearts

Pot is about 100$ and I fire 110$, which was a big bet, I do not expect much action to be honest but he grabs at a stack of his green chips and I think to myself nooo way, was so exciting for me, he grabs 400$ and throws it out sloppy, now I know he has a hand.

I count my stack down in my head and see I have 1300$ more behind me just calling, so now the question is do I shove? Do I make it like 500 more? If he has 22 he can muck his hand. So shoving is saying allowing him to muck 1010 (which he just cant have) or 22. And also muck his flush very easily.

Well he says to the table "you guys are gonna have to excuse me I am gonna need a minute on this" and he takes about 1 minute and makes the call and shows A2. Very sick cooler, 1 out ace made a big hand, very sick hand.

Tomorrow is a 500$ buyin horse, which I will final table, I am calling that right now. Though it won't be paying more than 12K-15K to winner, that is if the tourney fills out over 100 players. Would be nice to see 100+

FK YOU FULL TILT

For real... FER REEEELZ


No site can piss me off like this site, I think if they changed their name it may help. I even tried to change the table views but it did not help, I still knew I was on FT. I am certain that I have an issue with my mentality when I am playing on this site. I mean I can not play well for more than 90 minutes on this site. I snap every time, or atleast I am telling myself this now, over 4 months without an MTT cash over 3K, like 15 MTT Final Tables without a top 3. Ummmm..... 1 winning month on there in the past 4 or 5 months, and that month I was the dumbass who decided to win the TLB. Played like 1200 games, 45 man+++ and made like 4K, now I played for like 10 hours a day 6 days a week. This is not my idea of how I would want to live.

You know, atleast in live poker when you get to running bad, you can order a drink and still enjoy the night. Online, no no no, you are on 10+ tables and have to keep your cool which is sometimes impossible to do on Full Tilt, not a problem on other sites for me. I can not take the MTT grind like I used to, or I am just running insane bad for this long. I mean I can live a month without a break but seriously, for the hours I have put in most months, this is just torture, thank the lord other sites are treating me very well or I would be forced to become a pot smoking hippy working at Arby's to pay for the rest of my school which I have full intentions of finishing sometime soon.

Things I hate about Full Tilt

1. Every flop seems to have a straight flush draw
2. Every time I have 99-JJ on a rag board I am vs 2 overs and a flush draw
3. I never flop a set, or a big hand in the early stages of tourneys. But the fish who are limping in every hand always do, it is literally like I can not win a hand early in a tourney, can't even make a pair with AK AQ but 1 in 5 or so, and usually behind when I do.
4. Too many good players and too sorry of software, fish have to get a share on FT, the grinders have a lower ROI on FT than ANY SITES TOP GRINDERS. I will not attribute this to the solid players. So this means if I am not 100% on top of my game I should not even be playing.
5. I won't quit playing there


BLAHHHHHH
BURN IN HELL FULL TILT!

Other news, going to play a bunch of lower buyin live tourneys for the next 10 days or so, that is if I can get a hotel room for the whole time.

90 minutes away from me, Scotty Nguyens Poker Classic! Cherokee in Tulsa, couple tourneys every day ranging from 200-1000$ buyins and a 3K main event and surely plenty of side games, should be able to do well. Hotel rooms will be scarce I am sure so I will prob be forced to spend twice as much on a Suite for the first 5 days, oh well....


WEEEEEEEEEE POKER

Tough way to make an easy living, or an easy way to make a tough living? Both make sense to me?

Tired, Worn, Spent ZZZZZ Vacation

Some people are just naturally workaholics. I know that I am not, but since poker is my job, maybe I am, I am bored on vacation, it just is not what I am interested in I guess, I am just not a normal young man when it comes to things like going out to eat, social events, hanging out with friends etc etc. I would almost just prefer to be playing poker 100% of the time. So I can't claim to be having the best of times here in Florida, the weather is awesome, there is a ton of stuff to do that I am failing to have interest in doing, so I am no fun for this week, sorry.
Got my first session in today since I left, been playing for 10 hours or so, tailing off right now.

Up a couple thousand on PDC, super fish playing the 5-10 game and he does not take a liking to me. He will spew the rest of what he has soon and I am certain he has nothing to rebuy with, but oh well he has been lucky in some pots and had 3500ish to spew back at 1 point and none of that was mine previously.
Played a bunch of 45 mans on FT, did ok, only got 21 games in since they start slowly. Was up 1000 or so, then was going to play all the 1K Monday sats, but the internet here is really sketchy so I did not. I played 2 and ended up with a seat, so I played the 1K and have already busted, I played poorly and missed every flop, not a good combination in any circumstances I guess.

I have CHAT ON FULL TILT AGAIN. Been over a year since I have had the ability to say anything while playing there. Neat huh?

Casino Boat is where you play cards. The games are weak, 2-5 has a 100-300$ buyin, I played this each time, won a bit the first night then the second night I am sitting, get stuck for 3 buyins in a hurry. Then if any of you have watched the 2006 ESPN WSOP Circuit in Tunica Mississippi, there was a guy who "gave Negraneau trouble" named Kia Mohajeri. He was on the boat, and he is a real fish if I must say so myself.

I make a hero call on him for a 1500$ pot roughly, early in the night we were both doubled ++ (I doubled him the first time) I hold 99 on button on Kia's straddle, couple come in for the 10$ I make it 55$ to go Kia and one other call flop is J 8 3 rainbow, check check check turn is a 4 putting a flush draw out, check check I bet 120$ Kia calls and other guy folds out the river is the 10c putting three clubs out and Kia moves all in for 550$ish and I tank get the clock called and tell Kia he makes no sense and called him and he tosses his hand into the muck face down to not show, I show the hero call scoop the pot then proceed to drink too much and leave about 600$ down, I rule.

Went to a strip club last night, and wow. I am embarassed for myself, I honestly am going to have nightmares, there was a tranny working there, this place was so empty, I was so drunk (no I did not touch the tranny, but I did ask him her shmim herm whatever you call a tranny if he or she was a tranny and I got a reply "no I am a woman" (auto tranny, no stripper calls themself a woman, IM A HOE DUDE!) Yea but I spent like 1000$ in there on girls that were definately not that good looking, I want to puke..... I am such a jackass for even going to this place, it was bad. (but I was shitfaced) Probably should leave that out of the blog, but it is kinda funny, I think I have pics on my digital camera of the place, I will post one later if I do, I think I remember taking a pic with all the strippers. Drinking the bottle of wine I purchased for "the crew" I don't know how much the wine cost, I don't like wine, I don't know why I bought the wine, but I did. PFFFF Yea I am ashamed don't worry.

So in my eventful day I had spent over 1500$, I know I spent at minimal 500$, so there was definately 800-1000$ missing, and I have it down to a few things that could have happened to the money.
A. Tipped it to the strippers (and once again my word that I gave the tranny NOTHING)
B. Accidentally tipped it in a wad of 1$ bills I had at the ESPN Club. (this my most hopeful way of losing it)
C. Accidentally tipped it when I bought the bar a shot in a bar in Disney World. (yes, just what families at Disney World want, a drunken 22 year old buying the bar a shot, PARTY!!!!!!!) (Jager none the less)
D. GOT FUCKIN ROBBED BY SOME HOES! (though I had nothing else missing)

Definately done drinking for a few weeks, so far very little good has come out of it for the trip, I would be a liar to say I had a bad time in the strip club, but I really did have a bad time remembering it, sigh.


Ok I'll be home in a couple days thankfully, ready to recline in my game chair in front of my TV playin 15 tables for 10 hours in a pair of pajama pants get my weekly shave in there somewhere and finish my DUI school so that I can finally be a part of society again, hoorah.

Workaholic? Nahhh just an addict. But luckily an addict of something that does not prevent me from being able to live well.

IM GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!!!!!!!

Yes, it is true, I am going to Disney World. Have a buddy who lives in Orlando (his name Michael Ferrari, yes) going to school at UCF, decided to buy a plane ticket to go hang out with him for a week. Do some Disney World, some Casino Boats etc etc. So won't be playing much at all this next week.

Went and played a 5-10 live game, held on Tuesdays at one of the casinos here (small area, so not a daily game) game was as fishy as I expected. Bunch of old men and a few business guys, very few of these people know how to play anything but pairs and the nuts. They all cold call each other with sets trips 2nd nut straights non nut flushes and middle two. So this was easy for me. I play pretty loose, only one other guy at the table was anyone I showed respect to, and I did not make many friends in the process. Quit the game up 3500$ in 3 hours or so, didnt much feel like playing anymore.

Stacked off one hand, well not stacked off but doubled a 1200$ stack up, was mad at myself for doing this in such a weak game where there is reallistically no need to be making such moves (though the 3rd hand of the game I made a move in a 3 way pot for my whole stack)

The 2 hands worth mentioning.

First the 3rd hand of the day, we all started together.

I am button with 95o 3 limpers I make it 65 to go (they cap buyin at 1K so were all at 1K except one younger guy who "plays for a living" but is not very good and talks a lot) So I get 2 calls

Flop 10s 9s 6s (i have no spades)
1st checks
2nd checks
I check
turn Qd
1st bets 90$
2nd calls 90$
I ponder for 20 seconds and call 90$
River 3h
1st bets 150$
2nd calls 150$
I instantly move all in for like 850 or so ( i had won the first pot)
1st just throws it away
2nd tanks and folds
I show obviously. Thought I repped the nut flush well there.


2nd hand the one I doubled a nit on, this guy had flopped 3 kings and 3 jacks at 2 seperate points, not a set, just 3 of a kind, 2 on board. (sets and trips different IMO)

So I straddled (blind raise to double the BB when ur UTG to gain last action pre, used to squeeze a lot)

I picked up 9s7s and 3 come into the pot, and I checked

Flop is 10s 6s 6h
1st checks
I bet 40 into 80
3rd calls
4th folds
1st folds

turn is a 5h

I bet 85 into 160
2nd makes it 285

Ok so now back to the trips he has played, he has YET to do anything but check call with them so I am at a cross road. I am thinking maybe he is raising me cause I am typically pretty aggressive. But he also knows I usually surrender if I dont have anything on the turn, so I am worried about 66, and air. But I dont see how he could call flop and have air. This part I did not think about during the hand. So I messed up clearly, I think for 1 minute and talk like I have a 10, cause I am planning on moving in here.

So I move in he insta calls and flips the only hand I can possibly be beat by in my head. Though I never asked myself what he could call flop with and raise turn that I could push off the hand, so I am a bonehead.

So I had one out in the deck, the 8s AND I HIT!

Not really, I missed and I pay him 1080$ more than the 200 and move along.

This same guy actually played a hand with me later, was kinda funny.
I had J8 called 30 pre in 4 way pot flop Q 9 7 rainbow.

All checks, turn is a 10h board reads Qs 9h 7d 10h

SB bets 60$ the guy I doubled calls one folds and I raise to 190$
SB folds (hes the only player I respect) then the goober calls with 25$ chips, and I ask him "you not gonna pay me back with my red chips (I paid him off in mostly red when I doubled him a few hands back)

He responds with "You haven't won anything yet kid" (I love being called kid, means they don't like me usually)

River is a Jd

OOOOOK, he is first to act and checks, board now reads Qs 9h 7d 10h Jd

I think for quite a while here, with the low end, prob 45 seconds. Pot is about 600$

I finally decide what I want to bet, 75$...... sounds crazy, but I am certain I have best hand, and just want to get paid by a pair.

He insta calls and low and behold he flips over Kh5h

Thanks for not leading out? Thanks for not raising? Thanks????

That is how nitty this game is, but they are stations, but they won't be building pots with each other. It was nuts. I will definately be playing that game more, when I feel like waking up at 10 AM to play.

Ummmm..... Jay still hiding out. Bout all I can say about that. So atleast he let me post some turribal blogs for you fine folks that actually read this.

Ive lost faith in online poker almost, I really want to be a live pro, and may go that way before too long. Online just so damn annoying, low ROIs have to play 4826295 tables at a time to profit worth a crap, too many good players, too many bad players that shit out because online lets every half ass descent player win money and think they can go pro. Just keeping it slower for the rest of us. Fish don't win money live, it is just fact. Fish can win one session, one 100 hand session, but thats insanely rare. They 99% of the time give it right back within the hour. Online is just not random I dont care what you say or how you say it, all people say to me is "what do the sites have to gain" ????? Seriously? FISH PLAYING FOR MORE HOURS ON A DOLLAR THEY SHOULD NOT HAVE.

I am 70% only talking about Full Tilt :) Though no site has the randomness of a live deck, just have to let fish play longer, it keeps games alive, and rake movin. I have never seen or heard of a fish who worked his way from low to high in live poker to only find out he was running hot.

More money in live poker anyways. More social interaction. (no not more total money but more easily obtainable money at my stakes) No money running through my banks to have to pay as much tax on etc etc.

Ok I am rambling and ranting so I will quit here.

G'day

Sunday Begins

Well I have crushed my FT roll as usual, and have no money to play the big MTTs cause Jay is being a dick and wont send my my FT money for PDC back (I swapped and dumped 4K a few weeks ago dumb me) So if you have any FT money you will trade me comment, I will take anything since deposit options are awful right now.

So I have 4 buyins for 75$ 45 mans, busted one and looks like I may cash the 2nd one, need a 1st place toplay any of the MTTs really though. So hopefully that works out.

So I am bored playin a 2-4 table and a couple 3-6 tables on Cake. And was really bored so I bought in for the minimum at a 50-100 PLO game, left with 7200, I am such a donk for doing that.... very very bad habit, but I wouldnt claim I am down from doing stuff like that.

So I post later after day ends see how I fared, doesnt look I will be in the red though.

Also back to back wins in the Friday night tourney at the casino around here, 120$ buyin paid 1500ish both times, but I chop as leader with 4 left and take 1K each time (usually when the floor gets mad at me for being too drunk, but hey I get out like twice a week it's my party time sadly) tourney doesn't draw a whole lot of players, and very few players that know what they are doing. So I rule that obviously, but the players are so bad, and I have been "cut off" once we get to the final table every time, just hammered drunk. Never know when to say when when I am drinking in public. Atleast I can still play when I am hammered (and I think I play better as long as I don't run into real bad luck, then I will play awful (any real ugly beat will make me play bad, I dont get upset about it, just start trying to win every pot to compensate)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Well, Sunday was another riot. Way more of a riot this time.

Fulllllllll Tilt....... I hate you, I feel as if you would rape and murder my children (if I had any) for a good laugh.

The Sunday Brawl, 256$ KO (40$ per head) Drawing over 1800 players, and I played so disciplined for 6 hours, never having a monster stack, just getting in good and won a couple races, 24 left, and they get me. Every time the blinds get high and the players are whittling away a siren goes off in Full Tilts HQ and they rush to stop me.

I get 77 on the button with 180K stack at 5K 10K blinds, cutoff moves in for 100K so I remove in, blinds fold. I am up against QJo, flop is 8 7 2 rainbow- YES! I have over average stack now! Turn-10, "heh they wouldn't do it" River-9, whaaaaaaaat.

So I have 8 BB left and shove QJ from mid like 3 hands later, button flat calls, hoping he has a little pair he has AQ, oh well, flop K 10 9 - HEY IM ALIVE AGAIN! - Turn J-

Ill post these hands for evidence..... So sick....

Made a couple other deep runs with no success on FT, but Cake poker loved me today, took down the 50k for 11K and final tabled the 100K on Cake but only managed 7th for a measley 3500$ (payouts suck on Cake since they pay 62% of entrants)

Well I am back to nitting it up though. The monster cash still alludes me.


Jay where are you! I think he is retiring from online poker.

Hands from FT HH for proof of this sick ways they toy with me.

Eh cant get the HH from this comp, played on my desktop this weekend to watch football and my desktop sucks and the HH wont work, so just call me a liar and gfy.


G'Day

Couple Goot Sessions

Did my profile kinda so you can see me playign with Clonie Gowen, but the pic quality sucks. Shes sooooo hottttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.

Did well on some 5-10 on P.Com the other night, thanks in large part to a couple fish.

First night I ended with a 7500$ stack after playing Zer10 for a few hours, think only 4-5 of that was profit though. Had top set hold vs a open ended straight draw + flush draw with 1 card to come (I bet and just called a flop raise he picked up all the outs on the turn)

Next night I finish up with an 11K stack on a 5-10 table after playing mega fish for a bit who stacked me 3 times and I was running like hell. Luckily it shifted and I ran better that I ever had in my life for an hour and stacked him 5 or 6 times in that span. Not even Jay himself could have broke even in that HU match. Probably would have stacked Jay 8-12 times in fact.

So my .com account is alright again after a few months of me not playing or wanting to play there. But in all honesty I think I am going to cash out a large portion of it and just play 1-2 and MTTs elsewhere and perhaps .com. My bank account is sadly starting to get low and would suck in 3 or 4 months if I pissed this all away as I usually would and did not hae atleast a little to fall back on.

I am pretty hell bent on going to the Aussie Millions this year, though flight is 2500$ roughly (if I booked now, which wont happen) So I will prob pay 3500 for flight if I decide to go, or maybe I win a seat, which would be elite. Would definately be the coolest trip to ever take, for me atleast. (I think)


Ummmmm.... I have nothing much else to say, except NHL 09 is out on PS3 so gonna pick that up today, then head over to the casino and play (I have been up for 16 hours already and planning 20 more) some poker and get drunk toss 200$ bills away to the hillbillies. Should be an entertaining day.

Ummmm words from the wise, if you go to bed with an itchy butthole, you will infact wake up with a smelly finger.

Im "batty"

Funniest HU Session EVER on FT

Ok these hands are in order, I didnt play more than 70 hands with him ,ummmm I am not spacing the histories cause I am too lazy to space 10 of them, you can still read them, I previewed them, it is not too bad.

I rool


Full Tilt Poker Game #8413114359: Table Aire (heads up) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 7:18:31 ET - 2008/10/09Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 ($208)Seat 2: PrettyMariacci ($212)DimJarnaby35 posts the small blind of $1PrettyMariacci posts the big blind of $2The button is in seat #1*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to DimJarnaby35 [9c 2d]DimJarnaby35 raises to $6PrettyMariacci raises to $20DimJarnaby35 raises to $67.75PrettyMariacci raises to $212, and is all inDimJarnaby35 adds $59.75DimJarnaby35 foldsUncalled bet of $144.25 returned to PrettyMariacciPrettyMariacci mucksPrettyMariacci wins the pot ($135.50)*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $135.50 Rake $0Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 (small blind) folded before the FlopSeat 2: PrettyMariacci (big blind) collected ($135.50), mucked


(So I was doing this for the first few hands)

Full Tilt Poker Game #8413117360: Table Aire (heads up) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 7:19:05 ET - 2008/10/09Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 ($206)Seat 2: PrettyMariacci ($273.75)DimJarnaby35 posts the small blind of $1PrettyMariacci posts the big blind of $2The button is in seat #1*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to DimJarnaby35 [Tc 2s]DimJarnaby35 raises to $6PrettyMariacci raises to $20DimJarnaby35 raises to $67.75PrettyMariacci raises to $273.75, and is all inDimJarnaby35 calls $138.25, and is all inPrettyMariacci shows [9s 9d]DimJarnaby35 shows [Tc 2s]Uncalled bet of $67.75 returned to PrettyMariacci*** FLOP *** [As Ah 3d]*** TURN *** [As Ah 3d] [6d]*** RIVER *** [As Ah 3d 6d] [Ks]PrettyMariacci shows two pair, Aces and NinesDimJarnaby35 shows a pair of AcesPrettyMariacci wins the pot ($411.50) with two pair, Aces and NinesDimJarnaby35 adds $200*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $412 Rake $0.50Board: [As Ah 3d 6d Ks]Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 (small blind) showed [Tc 2s] and lost with a pair of AcesSeat 2: PrettyMariacci (big blind) showed [9s 9d] and won ($411.50) with two pair, Aces and Nines

Full Tilt Poker Game #8413119584: Table Aire (heads up) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 7:19:29 ET - 2008/10/09Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 ($200)Seat 2: PrettyMariacci ($479.25)PrettyMariacci posts the small blind of $1DimJarnaby35 posts the big blind of $2The button is in seat #2*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to DimJarnaby35 [6h 2c]PrettyMariacci raises to $6DimJarnaby35 raises to $20PrettyMariacci calls $14*** FLOP *** [8c Ad 3d]DimJarnaby35 bets $20PrettyMariacci raises to $80DimJarnaby35 adds $40DimJarnaby35 foldsUncalled bet of $60 returned to PrettyMariacciPrettyMariacci mucksPrettyMariacci wins the pot ($79.50)*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $80 Rake $0.50Board: [8c Ad 3d]Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 (big blind) folded on the FlopSeat 2: PrettyMariacci (small blind) collected ($79.50), mucked

Full Tilt Poker Game #8413129735: Table Aire (heads up) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 7:21:23 ET - 2008/10/09Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 ($238)Seat 2: PrettyMariacci ($479.75)PrettyMariacci posts the small blind of $1DimJarnaby35 posts the big blind of $2The button is in seat #2*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to DimJarnaby35 [5s 8h]PrettyMariacci raises to $6DimJarnaby35 raises to $20PrettyMariacci calls $14*** FLOP *** [7s 3c 5h]DimJarnaby35 bets $20PrettyMariacci calls $20*** TURN *** [7s 3c 5h] [Kd]DimJarnaby35 bets $40PrettyMariacci calls $40*** RIVER *** [7s 3c 5h Kd] [9s]DimJarnaby35 bets $80PrettyMariacci calls $80*** SHOW DOWN ***DimJarnaby35 shows [5s 8h] a pair of FivesPrettyMariacci shows [8c Kh] a pair of KingsPrettyMariacci wins the pot ($319.50) with a pair of KingsDimJarnaby35 adds $122*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $320 Rake $0.50Board: [7s 3c 5h Kd 9s]Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 (big blind) showed [5s 8h] and lost with a pair of FivesSeat 2: PrettyMariacci (small blind) showed [8c Kh] and won ($319.50) with a pair of Kings

Full Tilt Poker Game #8413140363: Table Aire (heads up) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 7:23:23 ET - 2008/10/09Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 ($237)Seat 2: PrettyMariacci ($601.25)DimJarnaby35 posts the small blind of $1PrettyMariacci posts the big blind of $2The button is in seat #1*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to DimJarnaby35 [Qd 2h]DimJarnaby35 raises to $6PrettyMariacci calls $4*** FLOP *** [9h Ah 7c]PrettyMariacci checksDimJarnaby35 bets $8PrettyMariacci raises to $30DimJarnaby35 raises to $54PrettyMariacci raises to $595.25, and is all inDimJarnaby35 adds $23DimJarnaby35 foldsUncalled bet of $541.25 returned to PrettyMariacciPrettyMariacci mucksPrettyMariacci wins the pot ($119.50)*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $120 Rake $0.50Board: [9h Ah 7c]Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 (small blind) folded on the FlopSeat 2: PrettyMariacci (big blind) collected ($119.50), mucked

Full Tilt Poker Game #8413146031: Table Aire (heads up) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 7:24:28 ET - 2008/10/09Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 ($239.50)Seat 2: PrettyMariacci ($620.75)PrettyMariacci posts the small blind of $1DimJarnaby35 posts the big blind of $2The button is in seat #2*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to DimJarnaby35 [8h 2d]PrettyMariacci raises to $6DimJarnaby35 raises to $20PrettyMariacci calls $14*** FLOP *** [Jd Tc Qs]DimJarnaby35 bets $20PrettyMariacci calls $20*** TURN *** [Jd Tc Qs] [6h]DimJarnaby35 bets $40PrettyMariacci calls $40*** RIVER *** [Jd Tc Qs 6h] [Ac]DimJarnaby35 bets $80PrettyMariacci calls $80*** SHOW DOWN ***DimJarnaby35 shows [8h 2d] Ace Queen highPrettyMariacci shows [Jc 9c] a pair of JacksPrettyMariacci wins the pot ($319.50) with a pair of JacksDimJarnaby35 adds $120.50*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $320 Rake $0.50Board: [Jd Tc Qs 6h Ac]Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 (big blind) showed [8h 2d] and lost with Ace Queen high



Now it turns aroudn, chip counts
Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 ($200)Seat 2: PrettyMariacci ($780.25)

Full Tilt Poker Game #8413158865: Table Aire (heads up) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 7:26:52 ET - 2008/10/09Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 ($273)Seat 2: PrettyMariacci ($705.25)DimJarnaby35 posts the small blind of $1PrettyMariacci posts the big blind of $2The button is in seat #1*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to DimJarnaby35 [6h 7d]DimJarnaby35 raises to $6PrettyMariacci calls $4*** FLOP *** [9h 9d 3d]PrettyMariacci checksDimJarnaby35 bets $8PrettyMariacci calls $8*** TURN *** [9h 9d 3d] [Ah]PrettyMariacci checksDimJarnaby35 bets $20PrettyMariacci calls $20*** RIVER *** [9h 9d 3d Ah] [3h]PrettyMariacci checksDimJarnaby35 bets $40PrettyMariacci calls $40*** SHOW DOWN ***DimJarnaby35 shows [6h 7d] two pair, Nines and ThreesPrettyMariacci shows [Th Kd] two pair, Nines and ThreesPrettyMariacci ties for the pot ($73.75) with two pair, Nines and ThreesDimJarnaby35 ties for the pot ($73.75) with two pair, Nines and Threes*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $148 Rake $0.50Board: [9h 9d 3d Ah 3h]Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 (small blind) showed [6h 7d] and won ($73.75) with two pair, Nines and ThreesSeat 2: PrettyMariacci (big blind) showed [Th Kd] and won ($73.75) with two pair, Nines and Threes

Full Tilt Poker Game #8413165875: Table Aire (heads up) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 7:28:11 ET - 2008/10/09Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 ($295.75)Seat 2: PrettyMariacci ($681)PrettyMariacci posts the small blind of $1DimJarnaby35 posts the big blind of $2The button is in seat #2*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to DimJarnaby35 [6c 4d]PrettyMariacci raises to $6DimJarnaby35 raises to $20PrettyMariacci calls $14*** FLOP *** [Qc Ad Tc]DimJarnaby35 bets $20PrettyMariacci calls $20*** TURN *** [Qc Ad Tc] [Td]DimJarnaby35 bets $40PrettyMariacci calls $40*** RIVER *** [Qc Ad Tc Td] [8h]DimJarnaby35 bets $200PrettyMariacci foldsUncalled bet of $200 returned to DimJarnaby35DimJarnaby35 mucksDimJarnaby35 wins the pot ($159.50)*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $160 Rake $0.50Board: [Qc Ad Tc Td 8h]Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 (big blind) collected ($159.50), muckedSeat 2: PrettyMariacci (small blind) folded on the River



Full Tilt Poker Game #8413172149: Table Aire (heads up) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 7:29:22 ET - 2008/10/09Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 ($361.25)Seat 2: PrettyMariacci ($614.50)PrettyMariacci posts the small blind of $1DimJarnaby35 posts the big blind of $2The button is in seat #2*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to DimJarnaby35 [Qc 8s]PrettyMariacci raises to $6DimJarnaby35 raises to $20PrettyMariacci calls $14*** FLOP *** [9c 3s Qs]DimJarnaby35 bets $20PrettyMariacci calls $20*** TURN *** [9c 3s Qs] [Td]DimJarnaby35 bets $40PrettyMariacci calls $40*** RIVER *** [9c 3s Qs Td] [Qd]DimJarnaby35 bets $200PrettyMariacci calls $200*** SHOW DOWN ***DimJarnaby35 shows [Qc 8s] three of a kind, QueensPrettyMariacci mucksDimJarnaby35 wins the pot ($559.50) with three of a kind, Queens*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $560 Rake $0.50Board: [9c 3s Qs Td Qd]Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 (big blind) showed [Qc 8s] and won ($559.50) with three of a kind, QueensSeat 2: PrettyMariacci (small blind) mucked [Jc Th] - two pair, Queens and Tens


Full Tilt Poker Game #8413175758: Table Aire (heads up) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 7:30:03 ET - 2008/10/09Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 ($634.75)Seat 2: PrettyMariacci ($340.50)PrettyMariacci posts the small blind of $1DimJarnaby35 posts the big blind of $2The button is in seat #2*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to DimJarnaby35 [2c 7c]PrettyMariacci raises to $6DimJarnaby35 raises to $20PrettyMariacci calls $14*** FLOP *** [2s 2h Td]DimJarnaby35 bets $20PrettyMariacci calls $20*** TURN *** [2s 2h Td] [Kh]DimJarnaby35 bets $40PrettyMariacci calls $40*** RIVER *** [2s 2h Td Kh] [3h]DimJarnaby35 bets $500PrettyMariacci calls $260.50, and is all inUncalled bet of $239.50 returned to DimJarnaby35*** SHOW DOWN ***DimJarnaby35 shows [2c 7c] three of a kind, TwosPrettyMariacci mucksDimJarnaby35 wins the pot ($680.50) with three of a kind, TwosPrettyMariacci adds $200*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $681 Rake $0.50Board: [2s 2h Td Kh 3h]Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 (big blind) showed [2c 7c] and won ($680.50) with three of a kind, TwosSeat 2: PrettyMariacci (small blind) mucked [Ks Qs] - two pair, Kings and Twos


I like my VBet here

Full Tilt Poker Game #8413194350: Table Aire (heads up) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 7:33:34 ET - 2008/10/09Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 ($1,077.25)Seat 2: PrettyMariacci ($202)PrettyMariacci posts the small blind of $1DimJarnaby35 posts the big blind of $2The button is in seat #2*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to DimJarnaby35 [9h Kh]PrettyMariacci raises to $6DimJarnaby35 raises to $20PrettyMariacci calls $14*** FLOP *** [9d 3c Ah]DimJarnaby35 bets $20PrettyMariacci calls $20*** TURN *** [9d 3c Ah] [Jc]DimJarnaby35 checksPrettyMariacci checks*** RIVER *** [9d 3c Ah Jc] [5d]DimJarnaby35 bets $40PrettyMariacci calls $40*** SHOW DOWN ***DimJarnaby35 shows [9h Kh] a pair of NinesPrettyMariacci mucksDimJarnaby35 wins the pot ($159.50) with a pair of NinesPrettyMariacci adds $78*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $160 Rake $0.50Board: [9d 3c Ah Jc 5d]Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 (big blind) showed [9h Kh] and won ($159.50) with a pair of NinesSeat 2: PrettyMariacci (small blind) mucked [9s 8s] - a pair of Nines

Full Tilt Poker Game #8413200916: Table Aire (heads up) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 7:34:49 ET - 2008/10/09Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 ($1,163.25)Seat 2: PrettyMariacci ($200)DimJarnaby35 posts the small blind of $1PrettyMariacci posts the big blind of $2The button is in seat #1*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to DimJarnaby35 [As Qd]DimJarnaby35 raises to $6PrettyMariacci raises to $20DimJarnaby35 raises to $67.75PrettyMariacci raises to $200, and is all inDimJarnaby35 calls $132.25PrettyMariacci shows [Ad Ts]DimJarnaby35 shows [As Qd]*** FLOP *** [3c 3d 5d]*** TURN *** [3c 3d 5d] [9s]*** RIVER *** [3c 3d 5d 9s] [Ac]PrettyMariacci shows two pair, Aces and ThreesDimJarnaby35 shows two pair, Aces and ThreesDimJarnaby35 wins the pot ($399.50) with two pair, Aces and ThreesPrettyMariacci adds $200*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $400 Rake $0.50Board: [3c 3d 5d 9s Ac]Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 (small blind) showed [As Qd] and won ($399.50) with two pair, Aces and ThreesSeat 2: PrettyMariacci (big blind) showed [Ad Ts] and lost with two pair, Aces and Threes


Full Tilt Poker Game #8413221419: Table Aire (heads up) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 7:38:44 ET - 2008/10/09Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 ($1,400.25)Seat 2: PrettyMariacci ($203.50)PrettyMariacci posts the small blind of $1DimJarnaby35 posts the big blind of $2The button is in seat #2*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to DimJarnaby35 [8c 8h]PrettyMariacci raises to $6DimJarnaby35 has 15 seconds left to actDimJarnaby35 raises to $1,006PrettyMariacci adds $2.50PrettyMariacci foldsUncalled bet of $1,000 returned to DimJarnaby35DimJarnaby35 mucksDimJarnaby35 wins the pot ($12)*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $12 Rake $0Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 (big blind) collected ($12), muckedSeat 2: PrettyMariacci (small blind) folded before the Flop

I did the $1006 to go prob 5 or 6 times with no calls then I left... he is probably pretty steamed lol

and do not worry I will never post this many hands again. I appreciate your time if you read them all.

If you did not read them all and started back up right here, you are shit out of luck, I am not posting anymore.

Sunday Salvaged!

Thought this was going to be a horrible Sunday of online poker (as usual) Busted all the 200$ buyins in a matter of minutes. Though I only play on FT due to the fact that I am banned from Stars for colluding in a 5$ sitgo 3 years ago with a friend from school, and they won't seem to consider reinstating me despite how much rake I pay and the fact that I play for income now and how also I was just a virgin to poker and had no clue this would affect me later. But oh well.

So I play about 3000$ worth of buyins on Full Tilt, needless to say I was stuck 4500$ (inc my 45 mans I was playing) within 2-3 hours, no cashes in anything, busted the 750K 5 minutes into the 2nd hour, busted the mulligan 5th or 6th hand spite raising the BB from the SB I limped with 99, he raises 3X and I make it 999 to go he pushes A10 and spikes flop. The 65K I busted midway through stealing the buttons raise with QJ but woops the BB has AA, obv.....

So I win a couple 45 mans and cash another one which added almost 3000$ back to my account, then I ran deep in 2 other tourneys, nothing big, one of the Big Doubles I am 3rd of 10 and tangle with what I thought was 2 overs and a flush draw, but it was actually just a flush draw when the initial raiser spikes a set of deuces, I finish 10th since I could not double up after that. Then in the Turbo Fiddy (gangster name IMO) I finish 11th when I run Q10 from the button (5 handed on my table) into , you guessed it AA, GG me.

Then I played the 20K on .com and had 8K at break and was out before the 2nd level of the 2nd hour started, actually the very first hand of the 2nd level of the 2nd hour is when I busted.

And won a descent chunk playing some 2-4 PLO8, one insanely sick hand in my favor (very first hand I played- I also posted the BB out of the blinds to come into the hand too)

I am dealt AcAdJc6d

UTG makes it 12$ to go, below the pot, I just call and remember thinking to myself "I never ever flop the ace when I don't raise" (im a theorist and skeptic of online poker though I play religiously)

1 other caller from the SB.

FLOP - As Kd 7d

YAHTZEE Top set and nut flush draw, no low draw can make me sit back for now, for once I AM FREEROLLING WITH TOP SET.

SB Checks, UTG Pots for 42$

I repot for 168$

HE REPOTS! So I get in for my 800$ (was a deep table)

He calls and shows Ah Kh 2s 4c

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Board runs (As Kd 7d) - 4c (pairs him, still no low) - 9s!!!!!!!! SCOOOOP!

Such a sick hand though, I would have wet myself with his hand there, no way he can expect to be in such bad shape just hoping for a chop to live.

So Somehow today I salvage the brutality to only be down 1k. I feel lucky though it could have been a good profit day if I catch a couple breaks late in tourneys.

In other news, I got to sit next to Clonie Gowen at a 1-2 table a couple weeks ago, she is so hot.... Prob cause she plays poker and looks "good" which makes her "hot" she is apparently going to be the spokesperson for the casino they just built here, and they are supposed to be in talks with WPT to get set up on the tour. (I dont believe this will happen since this casino is 90 minutes + from the nearest airport)

I am a hermit, my life is filled with Madden and online poker and going to the Indian Casinos and drinking way too much giving hillbillies 200$ at a time while they trash talk me (because I am loud and ruin the friendly game environment with my eratic betting styles) Ohhhh if they only knew I was a micro baller online. I live a shitty life right now. Thought I would throw this paragraph in here.

Fuck you all

PS: If anyone plays madden on PS3 (online) comment with ur username and I will pwn on you.

PPS: If you are going to comment about madden, and you run the same play everytime and use hurryup to do it everytime, then fuck you don't comment.

PPPS: Go ahead and comment because you will be easy to beat.

I Min-Raise Better Than Jay!

Full Tilt Poker Game #8341434457: Table Echo (heads up) - $2/$4 - No Limit Hold'em - 4:36:25 ET -
2008/10/04Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 ($422)Seat 2: MrGio84 ($378)
DimJarnaby35 posts the small blind of $2
MrGio84 posts the big blind of $4
The button is in seat #1
*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to DimJarnaby35 [9h Kh]
DimJarnaby35 raises to $12
MrGio84 calls $8
*** FLOP *** [Ac 7d 4h]
MrGio84 checksDimJarnaby35 bets $12
MrGio84 raises to $40
DimJarnaby35 raises to $68
MrGio84 raises to $125
DimJarnaby35 raises to $182
MrGio84 folds
Uncalled bet of $57 returned to DimJarnaby35
DimJarnaby35 shows Kh 9h
DimJarnaby35: Bitch
DimJarnaby35 wins the pot ($273.50)
*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $274 Rake $0.50Board: [Ac 7d 4h]Seat 1: DimJarnaby35 (small blind) collected ($273.50), muckedSeat 2: MrGio84 (big blind) folded on the Flop
MrGio84: fk u i will rule u




I min raise way better than Jay....



Jay uses asian condoms cause he has a tiny scrotom!

Why everyone tryin' to truck me yo?

$3/$6 - No Limit Hold'em - 6:58:34 ET - 2008/10/03
Seat 1: Hero ($813.60)
Seat 2: mustang mark331 ($481.25)
Seat 4: Steve Yea ($2,471.90)
Seat 5: d0zer4lyf ($600)
Seat 6: XXX ($1,280.50)
Hero posts the small blind of $3
mustang mark331 posts the big blind of $6
The button is in seat #6
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Hero [3c Tc]
Steve Yea folds
d0zer4lyf folds
XXX raises to $18
Hero raises to $69
mustang mark331 folds
XXX has 15 seconds left to act
XXX raises to $150
Hero has 15 seconds left to act
Hero has requested TIME
Hero raises to $231
XXX folds

NIT CITY!


Also, I played a few hours of live poker at local hole in the wall. They charged Rake + Time!

You read that correctly...RAKE AND TIME.

Sick? I'll put up something more amusing later.

Probably not.

Someone buy me a PS3.

Jay

FK ME I SUCK

Welllll I won the Full Tilt TLB though it cost me 2K since I ran like 100% dog shit for 5 hours while I tried to catch this Korean fella who never sleeps and has 2 people playing his account and has logged 20K games on FT but loses money and for some reason wants take my TLB from me. So I had a 2K wing in 25-75$ games but atleast I placed first on the leaderboard, if I had just kept sleeping I would have gotten half the cash (500$) and not gone on a 2K swing downwards. Also why the hell is the 1st place for TLB so fkin low, 1000$??? When there are hundred of players running for it? Should be like 5K-10K for as much money as FT makes.

So at the end of the session I have one shot to make profit today, in a 30$R I make final table with 2nd place stack and play worse than I ever have.. I manage 6th, I never slowed down, kept raising raising raising with no hands getting moved in on or missing flops. 1st 4K me 800$, I rule.. So this in turn sparks me to play more games, so I am still playing right now and have decided not to sleep til I have plad 36 hours, or profited. GL Me.

Learn from my mistakes!

Don't watch random movies...especially ones where Keanu Reeves shows up. Street Kings sucked. F+. The + is for Hugh Laurie.

Match Point was sort of interesting...and by sort of I mean the most interesting part was how hot Scarlett Johansson looked. Baby, you can apply to be my GF anytime. Feel free to holla: fcukmoney at gmail.com

Poker: lol.


I know this update sucked, but at least it was better than Dan lieberman or whoever the hell we have posting here now.

Jay

P.s. Attention would be spammers and random con-men / advertisers: Stop e-mailing me about stupid 2 cent per click link exchange programs or whatever various schemes you plan to plot against me. You are all evil and in case you hadn't noticed, we don't like money here very much...at least not in small amounts. Offer me a Ferrari and maybe a date with Scarlett Johansson and we can do business. Otherwise, try houseofpokerblues.com. That dude will put up anything for a buck.

FK YOOO JAY I BLOG FINE!

Well, it turns out I am not very good at poker. I can not win a pot in a merge ringgame. I play like a pussy and let people drill draws on me. I can however win a few MTTs, TLB is mine on FT this month and that is only the real upside to this month. Would be a legit month if I could avoid merge, the place that used to treat me like a human being.

I bought a badass nintendo chair this week... (gaming chair) and some accessories so I play on my 42' LCD now, which I found out has a PC setting so it looks perfectly clear and I can sit back and play for 24 hours now with no problems now other than taking a piss with 16-20 games running and being insanely greasy by the end of the session.


Someone plz buy Jay a PS3 as he can not afford one.


I do suck at blogging....

Win 10k, lose 10k, this is my life.

+10k in 3 days.

-10k in 3 hours.

Sounds fun, doesn't it?

3up broke his computer, someone hacked my blog.

I know some of you have been wondering where our version of Deuce Bigalow is...and by some of you I mean the one friend he has, not the imaginary horde of women throwing their panties at his feet...well...no he's not dead. This fish broke his computer and donated his laptop to charity or something. I'm not sure because all I could understand in the 3 minutes I talked to him is that he is very mad at the stock market and plans to make us a lot of money in the next 6 months.

Cool. I could always use a lot of money. More money = more hate. And we all know I'm a hater.


Now for less important things and people: I don't know who this zimmerman guy is, how he showed up here, or what he wants, but he appears to be stupid and have no regard for money, people, or the consequences of his actions. He'll fit right in.

Oh, I almost forgot. I have a retarded friend who wants to bet me $5,000 that I can't win $10,000 in 3 months playing only 200NL and specifically on UB. lol? Would be a total waste of my time for $5,000, so I'm trying to get him to up the bet to at least 10K. The only problem is, I've pretty much boycotted UB because they are thieves and morons who don't deserve my a penny of my rake. On the other hand, making my friend feel like an idiot and taking his 10K would feel pretty good...decisions, decisions....

J

Contributer!

Look at me!

Superb first post if you ask me.


Anyone who reads this blog, (which I have more than reasonable reason to believe that noone does) leave a comment in this post so we can get a head count! This will highly motivate the frequency and dedication of my posts.

G'Day
Vernon Zimmerman

Played a short session.

Bleh. I don't play well when I don't want to play + I'm rusty.

So I obv play 2kNL:

Got coolered a few hands but I should have gotten away from 1 and made a questionable river call in a different hand.

Donked KK into AA in a 4bet pot where villain prob has AA 90% of the time and QQ10% and KK like once every 6 months or something. Was actually really really considering folding but I'm a donk. -2k

Then I called a large river bet with an overpair in a large pot on a dry board where I was fine with calling 2 streets but should have probably pitched the river. Instead, I decide to look the dude up and he shows me 2 aces. Which wasn't surprising, I don't think he bluffs that river with our dynamics for the day. Asghdasd!!! I really don't think call/fold ratio was as close as it may have seemed to me...but gotta live in the moment. Meh. -3k

Overall I sucked and finished up by breaking even.

I feel the rust and still have no desire to really play.

At least I'm updating right? All of you are heartless bastards who enjoy my misery. C'mon jay go play go update go lose some more money....oh wait...that's pretty much my train of thought too.

:(

Obligatory monthly post.

Yes. I suck at blog posting...but that's why we have 3 readers. And that's why these 3 readers keep coming back here. Hey, at least you guys are loyal!

So I finished up August by winning more than most people make in a year. Go meeee. Who cares? I suck anyway cause I'm down like 15kish in September and I've only played like one day online and 4-5 live. Clearly winning is NOT for me.

So what have I been up to in September? Well...I was pretty sick of poker so I didn't play much and obviously skipped WCOOP. So did 3up. In fact, he didn't play the 10k HORSE like he said he would. Pansy (feel free to replace pansy with an expletive of your choice). Word is not bond eh, Mr. Diamond? I am still officially the dumbest and most degenerative contributor of this blog. YES!!?

So back to that 1 day I've played online: I sucked. I busted my FTP acct (AGAIN). Dear FTP: I hate you. Yes I played pretty badly, but I always do. I was experimenting with some weird HU styles just so I can say I learned something from a raptor/cts vid...but I didn't.

Live Poker: These people are so bad at poker that I must be the worst poker player alive because I keep losing. In fact, they are so horrific that breaking even is a SIN!

2 funny hands very briefly:

1. I flop the nut flush vs low flush & top set multiway. I fold it face up on the river, dude shows me the obvious straight flush. I lose ALMOST the minimum. I don't know who should be embarrassed more...those 2 guys for sucking so much or me for not losing the absolute minimum.

2. There's a straddle, a restraddle and a sleeper. I am first to act on the button. I raise more than half my stack and get 4 callers. I do not win. Q7dd scoops.

So what have I been doing if I'm not playing cards? Going out, causing trouble and debauchery. I just made an $80 purchase at condommania.com. They like me. I qualified for a shipping discount! Ballin'.

Also I've learned that medical & dental labs, offices and pretty much anyone connected with medicine makes a ton of money but they have to go to school for a very long time. There is only one solution: I must open one of these offices and hire all these people who went to school for a very long time and piggyback off their intelligence. There is no other choice.

I'm thinking of buying some property so I am going to spend some time driving around and low balling desperate people. We'll see what happens. NYC Real Estate is insanely expensive. A million dollars buys a small closet in the hood.

Now: I just played poker. I am very rusty. I lost desire to play after 20hands. This is not good. There is a slight chance I will be going to Vegas in October for about a week. My friend Dudu will not be there, so if you'd like to take his place and flip quarters for money with me, holla via the comments or fcukmoney[at]gmail.com

J

No WBCOOP for me! :( + 3up is insane.

Bleh. I missed registering for the world blogger championships on stars. I never got an e-mail about it. Maybe stars is sick of my shennenigans? I always play this tourny...it's super soft and pretty decent time/reward wise. I went deep in it last year only to be 3 outed. Doh!

Anyway, even though my tournament game is rusty (when is my tourny game NOT rusty?) I'll probably play some WCOOP events. 3up, of course, is crazy so he decided to play the 10k horse. Psycho. Of course I can top him and play the 25k HU holdem....but I'm sure all the heads up sng specialists will play and I'm probably neutral ev at best...and i'd have to find people stupid enough to buy chunks of me. And frankly, I don't have 25k laying around to donate to some HU SNG specialist like sifosis or whoever is going to lucksack this thing.

I guess 3up edges me out in stupid degeneracy for September...shagdjhadfdg! I'm embarassed. This calls for heavy drinking.

/end whining

Jay

P.s. If you have 25k laying around you'd like to burn, shoot me an e-mail before september 14th and we can burn it together! :D

Will you be my friend?

So one of my favorite sites (CarbonPoker, don't ask) used to have this great little feature...like a buddylist where you could put people on it and track their games. Think of it like a fishfinder...it was a work of genius. A simple double click on a fishys name and their donk transmittor would alert you to their location. I loved.

Of course anything good has to immediately be destroyed...yup they got rid of it and instead put together and irritating and clumsy friends system. The thing is awful and I'm so spoiled by the buddylist, that I refuse to use it. You basically have to request friendship from people and have them accept in order to track their location. I can't be bothered.

My friend Dan, however, has been relentlessly asking every fish he could find to be his friend! He msged me the other day with "this is great, 5 fish agreed to be my friends." I couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes.

Of course, the day this thing came out, half the site started requesting my friendship (and for good reason since I've been donating for no reason), so I had to immediately block all requests.

No. This fish will not be your friend!

Yep. Burnout.

Burnout confirmed. Playing like crap. FPS + leveling myself.

Shot off again for no reason. Also played a needless 20 or so hour marathon session...not good either. Maybe a break is needed...although I did just stack a decent player on FTP 3x.

Maybe 3up should blog about getting one outed in Omaha for a 500bb pot.

I donked off hard today.

Really disgusted with the way I played. Could have saved money in a bunch of spots. Also should of quit way before but didn't want to leave cause major donks were deep and still playing. Didn't help that I couldn't hit any flops, but that's not really the point...I should have broke even today or at worst lost 1500$...def not $3100.

Haven't played this bad in a while. Might need a break...logging lots of hours and lots of hands...could be burned out. Sigh.

Props to my boy Chico for final tabling an FTOPS event.

3up has gone soft.

I suck at poker.

Nothing new, really.

I want to whine!

Okay, so before I get to the good part (obviously the whining), I'll tell you fish what's been happening since the last update:

3up sucks and busted out of that retard poker tour or whatever the hell he was supposed to play reaaal quick. Then he flew to vegas and busted out of the 3k horse even quicker...something or other about some guy playing KQ in razz or something, I don't know...but he was like the 3rd person out. I had a piece of him there too...money well spent.

Was in vegas during June. Skipped the wsop events. Played cash games for 10 days straight...ran atrocious. Got coolered a bunch of times in unavoidable spots, couldn't make a draw, had some guy who looked like Jesus Christ play a hand horrendously and then check the flush to me on the river...thats a silent command for me to bet the pot with 7high. I ended up folding to his all in for like $100 more into a 2k pot or something. Pretty funny actually. Not really.

Live poker sucks. The only big pots I won I bluffed. The players are pretty bad but it's so boring and tedious, it felt like actual work. I worked hard for the pots I won. Also live players suck. I know I already said that but I don't think I can stress that enough...I wish I could 8 table against them online.

Let's see...what else...oh! A guy who referred to himself as "Snake" challenged me to 10K heads up in a 2-5 game but backed out. Funny story. From the begining:

I'm donking it up in a 2-5 game and there's a middle aged gentleman reading a newspaper between every hand...needless to say...this makes the already slow pace of live poker even slower...combined with my ADD, this isn't a good thing. Nevertheless, I didn't say anything partly because I thought maybe he'd finish up and partly because I was texting an ex gf between every hand too. Anyway, you have to picture this guy to fully understand his idiocy. He wore a jacket that said "snake", he wore a hat that said "snake", he had 3 card protectors, yep all of them snakes, and he liked to call himself snake.

So fast forward a few rounds, he takes a half hour to fold his hands preflop because he's busy reading his paper or something. Fine. I get into a pot with a guy to my left and am now facing a half pot river bet...I have like 3rd pair or something so I'm asking the guy questions trying to get info. Hell why else would you play live poker? If I wanted to autopilot, I'd do it online.

This pisses snake off to no end. He starts yelling for me to muck the hand already. Enough is enough. I flip on the guy with words of fury telling him to shut his mouth because he takes an hour to fold pre flop and he should mind his business while I'm in a hand. He apparently doesn't like my brash attitude and challenges me to "10k heads up right now!" lol. Idiot. I point out the fact that he's sitting in a 2-5 game with $250 and hasn't reloaded while everyone at the table has him covered 4-5x over and yet he's challenging me to 10k heads up...does he not realize how foolish he looks? Actually, that was a stupid question...dude is fascinated by a slimy reptile, he has no idea how stupid he is.

Anyway, snake seems to be hell bent on showing me who's boss. He stands up, and reaches his hand into his pocket as if to throw a stack of hundreds on the table so we could play...only one problem...his mouth keeps moving but his hand isn't coming out of his pocket with the money. Oops! Silly snake. The real problem is however that I don't have 10k on me either. The difference is...I have it to my name: I text my boy dan "Bring me 10k immediately. I'm about to get even for vegas" (I spent + lost somewhere between 11 & 13k in vegas so winning 10 would be nice).

Danny boy takes his sweet time but finally shows up. I'm excited. Snake has no idea what's coming. SNAKE, did you say you want to play for 10k? Get a dealer! Of course our boy snake immediately gets up, grabs what's left of his chips and heads over to the cage to cashout. Disaster avoided! Pitty.

I played some tournament towards the end of the trip and would have made day 2 if some dude who has never heard of deoderant didn't 2 out me. I was like 4-5 in chips with 1 level to go..dude limps UTG...he's never limped before...he's got a monster, fold to sb who completes...i see 2 aces in the bb and instapop it...UTG then immediately moves in. QBall on the turn and and i lose 3/4 my chips. Then open utg w/ AK, old lady moves in on me from the button we flip it, I lose. Then I just left. Donkaments lol. Old people lol. No deoderant. Not lol. I was suffocating.

Rest of the trip was clubbing and losing at blackjack, roullette, craps, sports betting and whatever else we could find. I lost at everything possible. Oh no wait, I won at flipping quarters! Yay!

Spent my bday VIP ballin at some club at the hard rock. 3up has to show off and bought some Dom Perignon at like $1k/bottle. Dom's nice and all but it sort of loses it's effect when you've been drinking saki and vodka all night.

Went to the Griffin VS Jackson UFC fight. Great card. First 2 fights we fantastic. Also, while I was rooting for Griffin, Jackson got robbed.

That's pretty much it for vegas. I'll leave the hardcore debauchury and shennenigans for a different time.

On to the best part: the whining!

My god I ran like absolute awfulness today! sahghdjas

I was actually on tilt for 20 minutes 3x. PUKEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

like 2/7 in coin flips but whatever who cares about the flips. Cute hands:

Get it in 99 Vs a4. HAaaaaaaa Ship to A4.
Get it in TT vs A4sooted. Same donk. He really likes A4. It keeps winning.

Dude limp reraises me. lol. I flop a set. He calls flop, raises turn. I decide it's time to play for stacks, he calls off with 9high flush draw. lol.

lol. lol? lol% lol* &lol?

My favorite hand: someone opens bbx5 lol. 4 people call. lol. I call with 33 from sb. we see A34 2 diamonds 6 ways. checks to huge donk who pots it. lol. button cold calls. lol. I ship the stack. Folds to button who tanks and calls off 80bb w/ T9dd. I have no chance.

Open AQhh from sb, fish 3bets me from bb, i 4bet, he donks it. I fist pump and snap call. AJ holds. Nice. I like.

Biggest pot: Button 800ish opens to bbx2. I call JTo from sb, bb calls. Flop: JT2 2 clubs. I think I have a club in my hand. DUnno. We shek shek to button who pots $60, I pops it to OneEighty, bb cold calls a buck 80. Button ships it in, I reship it for 4200, BB calls off 1k more. Oops?

Button: AcJx
BIg Blind: 89o

SHIP IT! But not to me.

So instead of being up 4-5k...I'm down like 2600 and sleepy. Waste of time this poker non-sense...let me tell you.

Also, I need to not vbet as thin vs total donks. It would help if I didn't try to get value from hands that are beating mine cause they play so bad!

I want to 2 out someone for like 3k. That would be nice. I would like very much. Yes.

Maybe I'll update again...sometime in november.

Jay

P.s. VoxGibson is threatning to come back...if you read this blog...please for the love of all that is good leave comments saying that you don't want to read his drivel. I thought I finally got rid of him...but dudes like a cockroach.

So 3up isn't dead!

I thought this fool was laying in a ditch somewhere after a job gone bad...but instead he's apparently decided to take the live tournament scene by storm. He called me yesterday while I was weight lifting so I don't remember much of what was said except:

"It's a joke."
"It's so easy it should be illegal."
"They're dumber than you."

So after all that he of course offers to sell me a piece of his action...I like to burn money...how could I say no? So now I have an interest to sweat the HPT $1650 main event.

Can you sense my excitement?

He claimed to be really focused and playing well...after dropping like 50k or some sick # like that on FTP...yeah...anyway I figure in a month you should expect a a blog post that goes something like this...

"So I shoved on this donk and didn't hit my 4 outer." Followed by a graph detailing why it was +ev to shove into morons with 4 outs.

...


Uhh... anybody want to buy the % I bought off him from me? =[

I'm good at poker.

If I didn't suck, I'd be up 50k this month instead of down 30.

yeah. I think that's about right. I don't even know.

Who cares?

Two Updates in One Day?

This blog is obviously blowing up huge. So like Jay mentioned I took a shot @ 500/1k HORSE and did pretty well. Unfortunately, I dropped 40k yesterday in very short order playing 1k/2k but I'm still up a fair amount in nosebleed HORSE for those who care. Unfortunately the variance is too high for me to continue playing it. While I could continue to grind and take shots I really feel the money is better used investing in things other then poker though I hope to be a staple in these games in a couple years. Interesting notes about the games:

1) The line-ups are often a lot softer then 200/400 games running @ the same time.
2) Since playing in it a lot of high limit pros have given me some respect and offered a lot of help in improving my game which is really nice.
3) The games don't play as aggressive as I thought they would. I mean they play aggressive but I thought they would play extremely aggressive, which was not the case except from a few players (EURO32PLYR & SteveSung come to mind)

The actual grind has been boring though in between such shots since when you're swinging up over 100k over the course of a few days or dropping 40k in an hour grinding 5/10nl seem kind of insignificant. I realized I was really autopiloting when talking to another regular about how "spewy" I am. It's true but honestly it's not in the spots most of the people tell me it is. But because of this conversation, I've decided to try to tighten up a few of my spew spots and really start focusing hard and studying again. Despite dropping 40k yesterday, I'm in as good of a mood as I've been since moving back to the cultural Sahara in which I currently reside and it's almost all because my outlook on the game continues to improve.

You can improve incredibly quick in this game. I remember during the Party days I thought ZeeJustin was living the life with an hourly of $300 and that if I could make just $200 I'd be content and just do that for the rest of my life. Well since going broke and focusing on improving my hourly rate has been considerably higher then that and perpetual greed continues though I focus more on wanting to improve then what the effect on my bottom line is. What is possible in this game constantly amazes me.

I still get no respect for even being decent by any regular @ 2/4 - 5/10nl though but Cole South likes my game so fuck em ;)

Halfrek who won the $1000 & $2500 FTOPS events for over 800k combined has almost inspired me to go back to donkaments but not quite. Absolutely sick results though. If you check his pokerdb he wins 4.33% of tournaments he's played. Unreal. Speaking on donkaments I'll be playing the HPT Detroit (June 6-8th), and events #22 ($3k HORSE) & #26 ($1500 Razz)@ the WSOP (June 11th-15) for sure and possibly some events later on in the series so if you don't suck @ life and want to buy me a drink and/or a lapdance feel free to leave one.

Good luck @ the tables.

Leaks in my game:

1. 4bet amount way too much.
2. Too much autopiloting.
3. Failing to extract value in certain spots/vbetting more marginals vs fools who have weak hands that should have been dumped instead of going for free showdown.
4. Idiot tilt.
5. Sucking at poker.


Going to fix 1 through 4 starting whenever I come back from this taking this poker break. P.s. I'm taking a poker break. Maybe.

Summary:
Was up 30k+ on the month.
Lost 20k while tilting for no reason and playing so bad that being on tilt doesn't even justify how badly I played.
Annoyed at myself for doing this every other month.
Still tilting off 100k+ a year. Sigh.

Woeisme

F Poker