New Years Poker Resolution

In 2012, I will finally become a bumhunter!

FTP PAY ME U SCUMBAGS

I ventured to 500-1k for the first time. LOL

LOL?
LOL!

FTP PAY ME.

P.s. LOL?

FU Decemeber, what a shitty month you are.

So I started the big D E C at a nice minus 15k.

F POKER

On the brightside, I think Moose had a winning day yesterday after not winning for 2 months. Why is it like this? Only one of us can win at the same time. Meanwhile we can both run awful for months on end.

New Poll. Vote for my misery.


Also amusing that the only people who visit here are the haters. I love you guys.

FTP PAY ME

Poker

BAHAHAHAHA

Won a 14k coin flip. Finished session 5k below ev.

How does this happen?


Also I seem to have made a new friend. There's a railbird that likes to run around the mid high stakes games and tell people how good they're running. That is his entire MO. He just joins tables and if he sees anyone winning, he starts spamming the chat about how hot they're running and what fish they are and how they're going busto as soon as the heater ends. He's taken a particularly liking to me (obv because of how hot I run...that's sarcasm for those of you who are slow) and taunts me every chance he gets. It's awesome. I feel like he is my #1 fan. I am definitely his number 1 fan. He amuses me like no other. Too bad I can't tell him because I have a chat ban. Bahahahaha. Poker.


FTP PAY ME

Gobble Gobble Fucksticks

I win the poll, but what do I win?

Busted 3x, surprised?...thank god they're accepting credit again. One day Moose, one day.

I'm drooling, and a ghost in my house doesn't like NWA's 'Fuck The Police.' Please refrain from throwing my phone again unless you actually hit me; I thought we got a long mr ghost.

More Graphs, more whining

I think this is like 35-40k hands at 5-10, rest at 3-6, 10-20, 25-50.

It seems hands cannot hold at all. My play has deteriorated to open tables, go straight to massive tilt.

Why did I come back to poker?

FTP PAY ME

Having a nice month.

A session from today. 4 tabling 2 clown regs at 5-10, 2 tables each simultaneously. How do I run better? Anyone? Anyone???????

FTP PAY ME

This is a nice welcome back to poker.

How terrible this guy is, I cannot even begin to describe. Keep in mind, this is mostly (95%ish) at 5-10, with a little at 10-20.

The funny thing is, that doesn't even tell the whole story. The coolers, the insanity, the folding preflop every time I have any tier 1 hand. I am in some absurd twilight zone that is cruel and vengeful. I will probably have to sacrifice a virgin soon. Hope dudu isn't doing anything Wednesday night.

FTP PAY ME

So I tinkered with the blog a bit...

A poll, a search option, our e-mail, and some banners. Wee?

So i haven't blogged for so long I don't even know where to begin. Or if I should even bother. Or what my purpose in life is anymore...

I guess the first thing I should do is recap from black friday till now. I'll try keep this short and colorful since no one likes to read a long boring blog about some guy in ny that likes to play poker once in a while. Why the hell do you even visit here? Yeah, I'm talking to you. The guy reading this right now. If you're a girl, send your pic. E-mail address is to the right.

Anyway,

It was ultimately decided that I ought to enjoy the NY summer before making any rash country moving, decisions. FTP owes me a lot of money.

Summer came and went, and I didn't even notice. I didn't even get a tan. 3up and I considered moving to mexico or canada (not so much) or Europe...but ultimately, as per our usual, no one did anything. Dudu was MIA trying to become a "live grinder" (plz ask him all about this, insert teehee emoticon). Moose is attached at the hip so his black friday response was to go fly his plane around a little more often. How I wish we could trade lives.

No one cares about phreezenet, vox or depeche so this is the only mention they will get.

September was eventfull. I went on a legendary (even for me) tear of debauchery and grotesque behavior. No fist fights by hospitals this year, however. I'm also lifting regularly and eating well. And I hope to resume training some form of martial art soon. Whether this actually happens, I think 3up is taking bets.

Poker wise, I have hardly played at all. But I'm sure you all knew that. I pursued an interesting, non poker related endeavour that ended fruitlessly...so it looks like it's back to getting hit n ran by fish and sitting around all day waiting for action. I'm pretty rusty and don't really know how to play poker anymore...so maybe I can do the hit n running for a change. No, I'm not broke.

But 3up is. In fact, I think he's gone broke like 4 times in the last 2 months. How this kid wins at poker, I will never understand.

Dudu has recently come to his senses. After getting ganked by UB (tard) and then trying to become a live pro (tard) he's back to grinding random shit like sit n gos (tard). I don't even know. The kid is abnormal. He's beyond any help that I can provide as he just completely ignores any positive advice I offer.

Moose has been running so mega bad terrible (even worse than me) this year, that I think he's completely fed up. I think he just flys around New Jersey all day now looking for excuses not to crash his plane into Howard Lederer's house. He's been on a serious MIA.

I almost forgot. Kotton. I have absolutely no idea what this kid is doing.

Oh, GirahGate:

I'm sure most of you have read my summary on 4. Funny thing is, I wasn't even going to make any post about the situation...but then when I saw the information that was presented before my post, I knew I couldn't let shit stand like that. Dog was was trying to manipulate these kids to cover his shady actions and it was obvious (at least to me)...shit was not going to go down like that. Glad it worked out on a positive note.

Moose and I long suspected that Girah cheated in the challenge anyway. Impossible to get that kind of action in such a coincidental manner.

I'd write up a long AEJones book like post on the entire situation, but I think everything relevant has already been said.

Also, holla 1 time for beating people who can see my hole cards?

Some of those hands were amusing. Maybe I'll post them here at some point.

So. What now?

Pokerwise...who knows? VPNs, shedding the rust and bangin with regs for a dollar.

Lifewise...I think I may want to buy a new car.

FTP PAY ME

J

For everyone who's been asking about cake skin that pays.

I added a banner to the right with all the other banners. Go sign up for intertops and play and earn me money. 33% Rakeback. Now stop E-mailing and skyping me.

For people who don't care about playing poker but only come here to read the drivel I write. I have been extremely life busy. I have not played much poker. I promise to make a real update or a series of updates sometime soon. Maybe even before 2012.

FTP PAY ME.

I am a spaz, I am a spaz, I am a spaz, I am a spaz

If I was in poker school I would have to write that on a blackboard 1,000 times or something...

I hate merge, I spaz the fudge out every time I play cash on there. Slumming their tourneys is boring enough, but I can not compose myself when I play cash, it is seriously just a repeating pattern. Hit every flop win a few buyins get coolered lose all back, rinse repeat, except when I lose back I spew more. So if I play HU there any more, I am quitting everyone once I am up 3 buyins. I am king of getting unstuck, but I am bigger king of getting way stuck.

I am running awful in the tourneys, getting deep is no problem, just when it gets down to 15 people or so I get 3b 4 out of 5 opens, or flatted and never have the goods or never flop a pair and I just dwindle a bit then get 6th-9th.... Don't think I have done better than 4th in anything this week but have final tabled like 15-18 tourneys (no brag on the final tables, half the fields are under 100 players) (don't even feel like calling them final tables)

I am destroying everleaf with my run good and no tilt there. I don't know why I do not tilt there, PDC is becoming my new FTP, seeing the software makes me lose my fucking mind. They owe me 12,500 for checks I never received and that were deleted out of my ledger (yea looks like I am feeding a bogus lie to them whenever I told them this happened, they think I am trying to pull off the most retarded scam I could come up with), I feel legitimately cheated along with Moose and Jay and another guy and then all the old school regs from lower stakes starting threads on 2+2 asking if any other old schoolers are winning a dime there. Like doom switches from hell on there... I hate the fact that I am even playing there, I do not trust the integrity of the site and I hope they rot in hell for all the troubles they have caused.

I have been fishing a lot, I caught a nice flathead catfish weighing 32 LBS last weekend. Planning on going again tonight, though its semi cool outside and rain got here faster than I wanted, warm front coming in in the next 12-18 hours would much rather hit the head of that to fish but probably wont.

Cliff notes - I am a spaz

Runnin bad slummin bad

Somehow I manage to lose 7 buyins + to 3 different people in 2 days playing 1-2 hu.... Pretty sure if I could see their cards with a super user account I might not have been able to break even :/ (thats a lie, but it was stupid)

I need boom switch, wonder twin powers activate!

Why is merge so god damn slow with withdraws too... this is brutal, I need $$$$$

Kotton ignore them haters, be a player, play the game.

Send all money to daduhweewah on merge, it will go to a good cause.

If you dont then fuck off

O DEAR LORD BABY JEEBUS

OK I am back, despite Merge being assholes who owe me money, and probably screwing us out of money.... (maybe me moose and jay are bad enough to lose like 2k buyins.... I am for sure, but Jay??? and Moose????!!!!???)

I am slumming tourneys (though I just bust them when I am bored cause I hate them and they pay peanuts) and 1-2 and some 2-4....

Moose and Jay would only loan me peanuts (Moose gave me 1500 on merge and 1500 on minted, and Jay gave me the finger) Little faith they have. I am up significantly considering I started with peanuts. But still a long long long way from where I need to be. It sucks knowing I used to be legitimately wealthy (for my area of the country definitely) and now being poor. But whatever, just fuel to the fire gotta keep working on it.

0 to 6 figures by new years? Probably not, but thats the goal.

I am back blog readers... mark it on the calendar.

Why does my semen have blood in it?

11 years

Doesn't mean shit when you've got a psychotic, suicidal thinking, depressed woman who can go from giving you the best head and wanting your babies to kicking you out in a matter of days because 'all you do is drink, play poker, get on the computer or watch the dvr and never put me first"

Bitch, cry me another fucking Euphrates. The only reason you're alive is because of my ass. I fucking work in a lab all the time. How the fuck can you say this shit?

"Get a job or move out"

Fine, I'm fucking employed as a molecular biologist now and rarely play poker or drink anywhere near the volume I used to daily.

"Well you still don't put me first, so get out"

Get the fuck outta dodge brah.

I found a bad ass place right up my alley. We'll see how you roll when you unfuck your head; We'll see if I even be accepting that head.

Shit, who am I kidding.

Peace the fuck out assholes.

I find dimes

Everywhere; Frequently.

Online sucks.

I like my new roommate; He donates.

.

I'm a BioChemist Biiiitch!!

Not like any of you 4 fucking trolls and FabFierce care but I'm finally using my degree and currently doing DNA sequencing, gene synthesis and a bunch of other nerdy scientific jargon that you'd have to Google to understand anyways at (I had the name of the company but randomly found it linked through google to this horrendous blog and decided to edit it out) Soooooooooooooo that means less opportunities for you fucksticks to take my moniez, and I'm sure you're in tears atm.
Enjoy

***O and fuck FTP, sucks for those of you screwed; Jay I'm sure there have been a few whores with decent stories attached you're not sharing or at least something to explain your ice cold PTR status on merge; Dadu is probably dead from pills and Moose, I hope you start running better buddy!

My fan club expands

Evidently it's a mass group of one individual in the central US with nothing to do. 2 hours ahead of Cali puts you somewhere in the middle of who gives a fuck your life sucks land. You're more than welcome to come visit San Diego and play. We have good times with foreigners here. Aaannnnnnd the ladies are off the hook, like fucking ridiculous. Way better than those skanky, buck-toothed bitches that inhabit your quaint little town. It's bikini time, and I'm sure you're two piece is a little dusty begging to be hugged around the shell that cradles your warm, kind heart.

You've put a smile on my face with every comment. Haven't had a good laugh in a while. Thanks for posting! Would be epic if you could squander enough time to reach a 100 comments. I'd probably even ship you some pennies to grind with.

Much love,
XOXOXOXOXO

Maybe I'll join dudu!?

Just time to quit online poker... Yes i play bad but seriously...

10K+ freeroll

Easter, family, beer..lots of it, no food...all day
Why not go to the bar after...
4 Vics, sure
Why not spin the tires out of the parking lot at 11pm
Still no food...it's sitting in the Jack in the Box bag on the passenger seat
Ah Fuck FUck FUCk FUCK FUCK YOU STUPID FUCKING FUCK FUCK
"Any reason you're spinning your tires?"
Best excuse I can mumble, "Got new kicks on" shrugs shoulders and lifts hands palms up
"You been drinking tonight sir?"
"Yup"
"How many have you had?"
"Three" (lesson 8 in physics for dopeheads tells you to never say, "two")
"Pheeewwww, I can smell it"
"Hang out here. I'll be back in a minute."
Mind's racing, thinking of turning the keys and flooring it, remembered I'm in a 4 cylinder, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Gathered myself as more cops arrive. Proceed through the interview decently. The catch may have been when asked my level of education. That and he didn't bust out the breathalyzer. I was off by one second on the tilt your head back count to 30 seconds act. I was able to count to 4 before I had to put my foot down, but binked the other 26 seconds flawlessly. TBH I musta been possessed by my spirit guide or something because there's no rationale for passing the tests given my conditions.
In Cali I think the going rate is around 10-12k in fees associated with DUI, so I basically just won.

Best luck I've had in years.

Time to move!

Been randomly browsing FTP/PS games...they look pretty damn good.

25-50's got genuine fish handing out paper...

As 3up would say, cest le vi.

Decisions will be made this coming week. Stay tuned.

You know what I hate?

You.

And you.

And you too.

OH, and the SOCIALIST STATES OF AMERICA.

I will (probably not) make a long, hateful, post about how much of a pisshole this country has become and how apalled I am that our current leaders are so inpet, they can barely function let alone be the champions of liberty and freedom they claim they are. ROAST SLOWLY IN A HOT FIRE, YOU SCUM.

A quick poker catch up: Barely play. Lost 12k playing live cause they have the one hand that doesn't fold, then I get mad cause I can't make a hand for 2 days straight.

Went on a tear, beat the hell out of bad regs, dropped half back. Quit for a month.

Went on a tear, beat the hell out of good regs, moved up to where stakes matter, played bad, lost itall. Quit for a month.

So now I decide to make my glorious return rigth before the end of online poker as know it. I am so smart.

Oh and contrary to what dudu would have you believe, I have tried to play every single HU reg on PDC, FTP for 2 days straigth. I got action (for more than 50 hands) from THREE guys. THREE. I must have sat against about 50+ different players. No ty Noty No ty No ty No ty No ty No ty. I even chased them. Buttoned for my blind about 30x.

Oh, and also I hope online poker either gets fully legal with all sites open to US OR I hope it dies completely for the USA so I can move on with my life or move to another country like I've wanted to do for the past 2 years.

Today was a terrible day.

Burn in hell Eric Holder.

J

Headed to ST Louis to find Nelly

And for WSOP Circuit, very small one, 1600$ main and som 550$ buyins leading up. Probably will only play the main and some 5-10 cash. I won a WSOP Main event package, and another mtt last night. Been playing a lot of MTTs lately, with not too much to show for it, theres profit!! Just not as much as I would like. The merge mtts are cute, everyone thinks I just run like god.... They all play sooo bad, anyone not playing merge mtts (if you dont make more than 50$ hourly on average and you don't play the merge mtts you are a moron) I mix them in with whatever I am doing, I have slowed down on playing cash only, I was getting murdered at 6max, breaking even then spewing like 30 buyins from frustration, 6max is literally just such a standardized game now. You have your ranges vs regs that are all about the same, you flip with this, with that, run good win money... I failed to run good too often, so now I just play the full ring games in the background and will sit hu. Been doing better like this, probably will keep doing this. Kinda hard sometimes to have like 20 mtts going then have fuck face Miki27 or whatever come to my HU table and say "PLAY FASTER" evey 2 minutes when I am going as fast as I can anyways and barely even being slow on that table as I make my moves there before any table! Then the cunt always runs up like 5x his buyin then loses it if he stays but sometimes he is smart and runs off and dumps it to someone else. I think I am going to take a road trip to the north west of the USA after this WSOP Circuit stuff, so if anyone lives in like Idaho, North Dakota, Oregon, something up there, post here and if I get close to your town I will mooch a drink from you. (you can buy me a drink in other words) and I will sign your hat or girlfriends tits or whatever and you can convince her I am famous !! Will try to post more here, as I always said... I feel bad you all have to listen to Kottons quantum physics for dope heads and moose4lifes monotone whining (tough to be monotone by typing) and jays denial that he is not a bum hunter when all he does is scout games and get mad if you dont tell him where a fish is! Wanna win a MILLION DOLLARS? Ask how in the comment section!

Jay eee el el OH I'm alive

Still not clean! I try! I fail! I am in a non stop break even run - I suck at poker and I am going to win the lottery soon. It is inevitable. - - -Jay you have always been a bum hunter... and no body cares - - Moose, no body cares - -Kotton, no body cares - -Tell me you love me baby. By leaving a comment saying "I Love You Baby" , love ya babes

Back to 25-50, back to a day of running 11k below EV!

11k,below EV, that's not bad, but wtf, i seriously just got back form a 10 day break of cash games, and this crap continues. On my break i won the weekly 215$ Hu at PS, for like 14k.Also was willing to chop with the guy but he apparently thought he was good or something. Funny part was i got sucked out on with over pair vs underpair twice, and still won it. Yes I ran well, like KQ vs 66 and 66 vs KQ. Need to win those.

This hand is great, I am 100% sure he doesn't have an ace, but some type of gutter or medium pair.He timebank calls turn...fish.
***** Hand History for Game 32916464100 ***** (Merge)
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Thursday, March 31, 01:57:32 ET 2011
Table Deal It Twice Death Valley (Heads Up) (32916464) (Real Money)
Seat 2 is the button
Seat 1: moose4life ( $5651.26 USD )
Seat 2: OfficerSnickers ( $8607.65 USD )
OfficerSnickers posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
moose4life posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to moose4life [ 4s 7s ]
OfficerSnickers raises [$75.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$275.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers calls [$225.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ As, 6c, 4d ]
moose4life bets [$365.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$980.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$1535.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers calls [$920.00 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ Qd ]
moose4life raises [$3426.26 USD]
OfficerSnickers calls [$3426.26 USD]
moose4life shows [4s, 7s ]
OfficerSnickers shows [5d, 6d ]
** Dealing River ** [ 5s ]
OfficerSnickers wins $11302.02 USD from main pot

cooler

***** Hand History for Game 32918127178 ***** (Merge)
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Thursday, March 31, 02:35:29 ET 2011
Table Deal It Twice Death Valley (Heads Up) (32918127) (Real Money)
Seat 2 is the button
Seat 1: OfficerSnickers ( $5299.50 USD )
Seat 2: moose4life ( $11411.66 USD )
moose4life posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
OfficerSnickers posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to moose4life [ Kc Qc ]
moose4life raises [$75.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$300.00 USD]
moose4life calls [$250.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 6c, Qs, Js ]
OfficerSnickers bets [$416.66 USD]
moose4life calls [$416.66 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 7c ]
OfficerSnickers bets [$950.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$2770.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$3582.84 USD]
moose4life calls [$1762.84 USD]
OfficerSnickers shows [6s, 6h ]
moose4life shows [Kc, Qc ]
** Dealing River ** [ 9h ]
OfficerSnickers wins $10598.50 USD from main pot

I mean...wtf!

***** Hand History for Game 3291776174 ***** (Merge)
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Thursday, March 31, 02:07:33 ET 2011
Table Deal It Twice Death Valley (Heads Up) (32917761) (Real Money)
Seat 2 is the button
Seat 1: OfficerSnickers ( $5224.50 USD )
Seat 2: moose4life ( $7754.00 USD )
moose4life posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
OfficerSnickers posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to moose4life [ Ah Kd ]
moose4life raises [$75.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$300.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$800.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers calls [$550.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 7d, Ad, Qd ]
OfficerSnickers checks
moose4life bets [$925.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$4324.50 USD]
moose4life calls [$3399.50 USD]
OfficerSnickers shows [7s, As ]
moose4life shows [Ah, Kd ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 2s ]
** Dealing River ** [ 2c ]
OfficerSnickers wins $10448.50 USD from main pot

cooler?
***** Hand History for Game 3291755465 ***** (Merge)
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Thursday, March 31, 01:51:55 ET 2011
Table Deal It Twice Death Valley (Heads Up) (32917554) (Real Money)
Seat 1 is the button
Seat 1: moose4life ( $15280.33 USD )
Seat 2: OfficerSnickers ( $5124.50 USD )
moose4life posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
OfficerSnickers posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to moose4life [ Ac Qs ]
moose4life raises [$100.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$350.00 USD]
moose4life calls [$275.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 3d, Tc, As ]
OfficerSnickers bets [$500.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$1125.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers calls [$625.00 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 7d ]
OfficerSnickers checks
moose4life bets [$1425.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$3599.50 USD]
moose4life calls [$2174.50 USD]
moose4life shows [Ac, Qs ]
OfficerSnickers shows [Ah, Kc ]
** Dealing River ** [ 9s ]
OfficerSnickers wins $10248.50 USD from main pot
I mean seriously?

***** Hand History for Game 3291755419 ***** (Merge)
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Thursday, March 31, 01:42:39 ET 2011
Table Deal It Twice Death Valley (Heads Up) (32917554) (Real Money)
Seat 1 is the button
Seat 1: moose4life ( $5898.50 USD )
Seat 2: OfficerSnickers ( $4273.50 USD )
moose4life posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
OfficerSnickers posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to moose4life [ Jh Ah ]
moose4life raises [$100.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$350.00 USD]
moose4life calls [$275.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ Ad, As, 8s ]
OfficerSnickers bets [$500.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$1225.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$3373.50 USD]
moose4life calls [$2648.50 USD]
moose4life shows [Jh, Ah ]
OfficerSnickers shows [Js, 7s ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 9h ]
** Dealing River ** [ 5s ]
OfficerSnickers wins $8546.50 USD from main pot

justice?
***** Hand History for Game 32918127168 ***** (Merge)
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Thursday, March 31, 02:33:12 ET 2011
Table Deal It Twice Death Valley (Heads Up) (32918127) (Real Money)
Seat 2 is the button
Seat 1: OfficerSnickers ( $6810.73 USD )
Seat 2: moose4life ( $5856.33 USD )
moose4life posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
OfficerSnickers posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to moose4life [ 3s 4s ]
moose4life raises [$75.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers calls [$50.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 5s, 3h, 4c ]
OfficerSnickers checks
moose4life bets [$150.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$450.00 USD]
moose4life calls [$300.00 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 3c ]
OfficerSnickers bets [$733.33 USD]
moose4life raises [$1800.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$5527.40 USD]
moose4life calls [$3506.33 USD]
OfficerSnickers shows [7h, 6d ]
moose4life shows [3s, 4s ]
** Dealing River ** [ 8s ]
OfficerSnickers wins $954.40 USD
moose4life wins $11712.16 USD from main pot

I mean, one time no 6? DIT

***** Hand History for Game 32918127141 ***** (Merge)
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Thursday, March 31, 02:28:20 ET 2011
Table Deal It Twice Death Valley (Heads Up) (32918127) (Real Money)
Seat 1 is the button
Seat 1: OfficerSnickers ( $7570.31 USD )
Seat 2: moose4life ( $5000.00 USD )
OfficerSnickers posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
moose4life posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to moose4life [ As Kc ]
OfficerSnickers raises [$75.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$300.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$750.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$4650.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers calls [$4150.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers shows [6h, 6s ]
moose4life shows [As, Kc ]
** Dealing Flop ** [ Ks, Ac, 8d ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 3s ]
** Dealing River ** [ 6d ]
moose4life wins $4999.75 USD from main pot
OfficerSnickers wins $4999.75 USD from main pot

***** Hand History for Game 329164648 ***** (Merge)
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Thursday, March 31, 01:39:48 ET 2011
Table Deal It Twice Death Valley (Heads Up) (32916464) (Real Money)
Seat 2 is the button
Seat 1: moose4life ( $5000.00 USD )
Seat 2: OfficerSnickers ( $5449.00 USD )
OfficerSnickers posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
moose4life posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to moose4life [ As Kc ]
OfficerSnickers raises [$75.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$250.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$750.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$1600.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$4599.00 USD]
moose4life calls [$3100.00 USD]
moose4life shows [As, Kc ]
OfficerSnickers shows [Ah, Qh ]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 9s, 4h, Jh ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 5h ]
** Dealing River ** [ 6c ]
OfficerSnickers wins $449.00 USD
moose4life wins $4999.75 USD from main pot
OfficerSnickers wins $4999.75 USD from main pot

Lost a 5500 pot vs linecrusher homo with AK vs T7 in 4 bet pot, run better.
Lost 2k on the session after flopping a set vs german and playing post flop poker instead of losing every flip. Run better moosey plz.

Polecat

I get insomnia when I don't drink for a few days. Fun shit. Heard something outside at like 3am and found 3 small skunks feeding in my lawn before they scurried under the house. Busted out the trap tonight and just after dark the fucker's loaded with 7 of em, mother included. Lucky for me the mom's being chill (looks only a year or so) and hasn't sprayed. Unfortunately one didn't get in before the trap door fell. I haven't slept in like 40 hours, and I guess it's a good thing I'm not tired. Probably gonna be a long night trying to get the last pup.

*Hypnofold, hypnocall devil, donk, rofl if you're outta the loop. Donk has to be by far one of the funniest emoticons they've come up with

#WINNING


**EDIT**
About 4 hours of sleep finally weeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Last pup skunk morphed into a slightly larger yet not so tight lipped with the sphincter glands skunk so fuck meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

My house smells putrid, but to all of your guys' dismay, I'm clean.

INF BELOW EV!

Been running so bad, but wtf can I honestly do? I mean, I wish I could run like Jay, but play like moosey! Dudu, I feel for ya. Kotton, I feel for ya. Jay, I feel for ya. BUT WHO THE FOK FEELS FOR THE MOOSEY!?!?!!?!?



***** Hand History for Game 32167521655 *****
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Friday, March 04, 06:26:07 ET 2011
Table Mt Rushmore (32167521) (Real Money)
Seat 6 is the button
Seat 2: moose4life ( $18209.08 USD )
Seat 6: bagheeeera ( $18425.75 USD )
bagheeeera posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
moose4life posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to moose4life [ As Ac ]
bagheeeera raises [$125.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$500.00 USD]
bagheeeera raises [$1450.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$3900.00 USD]
bagheeeera raises [$16825.75 USD]
moose4life calls [$13759.08 USD]
moose4life shows [As, Ac ]
bagheeeera shows [8s, Kh ]
** Dealing Flop ** [ Qd, 8c, 8h ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 2d ]
** Dealing River ** [ 6d ]
bagheeeera wins $216.67 USD
bagheeeera wins $36417.66 USD from main pot

***** Hand History for Game 3216752116 *****
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Friday, March 04, 03:49:39 ET 2011
Table Mt Rushmore (32167521) (Real Money)
Seat 2 is the button
Seat 2: moose4life ( $5448.00 USD )
Seat 6: bagheeeera ( $10125.00 USD )
moose4life posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
bagheeeera posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to moose4life [ Kh Kd ]
moose4life raises [$125.00 USD]
bagheeeera raises [$450.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$1075.00 USD]
bagheeeera calls [$725.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 6s, Tc, 2h ]
bagheeeera checks
moose4life bets [$1025.00 USD]
bagheeeera raises [$8900.00 USD]
moose4life calls [$3198.00 USD]
moose4life shows [Kh, Kd ]
bagheeeera shows [Ts, 9s ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 9c ]
** Dealing River ** [ Js ]
bagheeeera wins $4677.00 USD
bagheeeera wins $10895.50 USD from main pot


***** Hand History for Game 32147216247 *****
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Friday, March 04, 05:41:48 ET 2011
Table Las Vegas (32147216) (Real Money)
Seat 3 is the button
Seat 3: moose4life ( $18929.34 USD )
Seat 8: bagheeeera ( $5399.00 USD )
moose4life posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
bagheeeera posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to moose4life [ 6s Ks ]
moose4life raises [$75.00 USD]
bagheeeera raises [$350.00 USD]
moose4life calls [$300.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 7s, 6c, Kh ]
bagheeeera bets [$500.00 USD]
moose4life calls [$500.00 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ Jc ]
bagheeeera bets [$1220.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$2525.00 USD]
bagheeeera raises [$3279.00 USD]
moose4life calls [$1974.00 USD]
moose4life shows [6s, Ks ]
bagheeeera shows [Kd, 7d ]
** Dealing River ** [ 7c ]
bagheeeera wins $10797.50 USD from main pot

FML

YuuummmDinger

I just got so fucking pwned hu one. One of those times when you see your hand pf and it's in the top tier of hands n then see the 'action' flop knowing you're bout to ship 100+bb his way. FUCKING GOLD!!!!!!!!
So much easier to blog when you're losing....

Lets both benefit and hope I don't blog again soon

WHat do you think?

Uncle moosey here...should i get a prenup if i get married???

I think I am going to become a bumhunter.

What's the point of not being one? The games never go. The 4 guys who aren't bumhunters are super good so never play each other anyway. Games are ruined.


Turn into a nit. Play till fishes bust. Rinse, repeast. Completely suck at life.

/Annoyed

It's fight night BIIITCH

I was going to save myself the embarrassment and eventual berating soon to follow, but what fun would that be?

UFC 126 winners will be

Bader

Franklin

annnnnnnndddddd

BELFORT

That fucking showboating pos Silva is going down!

Hopefully Sailor Jerry doesn't kick my ass tonight

Enjoy ladies

EDIT: When it came down to it I picked Jones to ship the bills my way
EDITEDIT: Urban dictionary's definition of horrible is officially KoTToN.

pdc blog

Occasionally is decent and since I have nothing of value here u go:

Word of the Day: Bumhunter, n.
Posted By : Ray Finkle February 1st, 2011
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A bumhunter is a player who chooses to only face weak competition and refuses to play regulars and skilled opponents. You will find them at heads-up tables sitting out until a random amateur takes the seat, almost clicking to sit in so quickly they break their fingers. They limit themselves strictly to playing games where they have an edge and are void of any sense of competition or accomplishment. Their motivating factor is the financial empowerment they receive from bludgeoning the meek, a real noble existence. They are part of the seedy underbelly of internet poker, amongst hit-and-runners, poker bots, and the various forms of collusion, and are comparable to a car salesman using his business as a front for high-scale cocaine smuggling and prostitution.

Do yourself a favor: don’t tap on the glass. Like a parasite looking for a host, they have no sustainable income if you aren’t there for them to attach to. Stay clear of these syphilis cells and you’ll enjoy a burn-free time on the felt.

Not Wanting To Miss Out

On everyone posting today so here's my bit:

First and foremost, Kotton i s a terrible poster and Jay needs to take the keys away from him unless it's about snowmen fucking. In regard to complaints of everyone bitching all the time, I'm running pretty damn good and certainly am not complaining. Since if you read this I have probably been outplaying and running great against you, I thank you.

I basically took the vast majority of 2010 off and drank a lot but not in an awesome sexy fashion, more just out of habit and boredom. Did win one of the small USCOOP events since Dadu put me in since I was on anyways and don't play Stars.

2011 while I doubt I'll return to this blog I'm definitely back to playing and trying to re-tune up my game. Going well though still expect much better from myself. That will suck for you guys so I apologize.

Unless Jay & I get into some ridiculous prop bet or I do something awesome like win a bracelet I doubt I'll be posting but those sick of people crying about poker should really ask Jay to post his other thoughts since he's actually entertaining away from the tables.

Here I am

There I am






Where I am





Sam I am




Spam I am



Eatling a clam I am



Not giving a damn I am



Doing anal with Pam I am



Even doing it on cam I am



Everyone watching me give the bam I am



I ram on the cam I am



Really thought there were more words that rhymed with Damn I am

Read the paragraph below outloud, it will blow your mind

Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch. Whine whine whine whine whine. Cry cry cry cry cry. Sphincter sphincter sphincter sphincter sphincter. Turantula turantula turantula turantula turantula. Skelaton sketlaton skelaton skelaton skelaton skelaton. Volcano volcano volcano volcano volcano. Jungle gym Jungle gym jungle gym jungle gym jungle gym. Carpet carpet carpet carpet carpet. Carp carp carp carp carp. Car car car car car. If if if if if. You you you you you. Just just just just just. Did did did did did. That that that that that. You're you're you're you're. Fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking. More more more more more. Retarded retarded retarded retarded retarded. Than me than me than me than me than me for typing this

Are you ready to laugh?

/speechless

bleh

8th in the 2750 gtd...got some dumbass to stick most of his stack in with K8o vs AA and he runs well...triple up thru a few run goods b2b and ship queens into AJ that binks the A. Ran in top 14 the whole way and 2nd in chips into the FT. Good times

Something is wrong - I am broken.

Everytime I sit down to play, I just give money away. This has been going on all month.

I am not focusing and spewing and tilting. And showing a lack of interest.

I either need to start smoking weed or taking aderool or something.

My mind is all over the place. of course I'm dealing with a million different issues that can cost me a huge amount of money.

Played all day with a non working hand history. Super smart. Also talked on phone with a bunch of reps while 5 tabling, 4 HU vs 3 diff opponents. Lost like 14k like an idiot. Super annoyed.

Also pretty hard to get action. Random donks will hit n run me. I'm losing to random bad and mediocre regs. The good regs won't play me. The super good regs will play me, but I don't feel like playing world class players when I'm playing like garbage.

Something awful is going on with me.

Been playing like dudu.

Pun intended.

Don't know why. Probably cause I'm burnt out and don't want to play...but games are so good.

Prob going to Borgata for winter open.

Need new laptop.

JAY OUT

nlo

might be my new fav game

gl w/ the vices Jim n Jay


It's been in the mid 70's here, hard to complain

Will forever stop drinking.

I know I keep saying this....but one day I will.

Drunk jay picks fights with people for no reason and embarassed himself.

Past 5 days...

Its been about 5 days since I won my 10k at mega millz, and I have played about 20-60 min each day for the past 4 days. Made 5k first day, 5k the next, 7k the next, and today might be the first of my losing days, thanks to missing the sickest PLO draw ever vs the incredibly awful...thesnowissnowing. Well, maybe I will make it up...maybe not...

I still H8 mtts

I fucking hate them with a passion. How fucking hard is it to beat a field 80% less than the norm on the big sites? IDK it's been so fucking long I have no fucking clue wtf I'm doing anymore. FUUUUUUUUCCCCCKkkkkkkkkk



umm yeah, that's a smidge better

Some things never change

So I've been really sick this whole week. Like to the point where I was self medicating with Honey Pepper vodka at 11am. Ya. Sick as a dog.

And I stayed away from playing poker while being sick for the entire week.....actually did something positive by working on my game AWAY from the tables. I am really really good when I can see everyones hole cards, by the way.

Anyway, some here comes sunday and I got a fever and I'm bored and I'm sick of looking at hand histories...so I wanna play and I go and I unimaginably play like complete crap...cause I'm sick and I'm bored and I wanna gamble...bla bla bla bla. And I'm messing around with some theoretical plays and bet sizings I came up with while drunk.

Blah blah blah blah some more. Long story short, played very poorly, now stuck 5k.

Anybody notice this is a familiar song I like to sing?

I kind of don't care right now. I'm sure I'll be super mad about it later and furious with myself.

What else.

Uhm. New years was typical old school jay. Make a fool out of myself, insult people, tell people I find their girlfriends attractive. Get ridiculously drunk. Old habits die heard. Someone's going to kill me one day.

Dudu has been MIA for a while. He's in what I like to call the "leave me alone, I hate the world" mode. It's the mode I'm in when I don't log on for months or answer my phone. He's probably in rehab for his oxy addiction...or at least I hope he is.

Hopefully we get him back soon...this blog just isn't the same without him. <3


Oh! We have some new posters. Hopefully they don't suck. But I'm sure they will since for some reason we only let people on here who are absolutely terrible. Go figure.

One day we will get a real site...one day...where everyone can join and post and have their own blog and whatever else. Yes yes one day. 2014 I think I said?

DaJay OUT

I won without playing poker....

Well, what can I say, I figured out how to win in poker...Don't PLAY IT! Instead buy $105 worth of mega million tickets, and hit 4 of 5 numbers and the megaball and scoop 10k. Yeah, that's how moosey rolls... One number off from hitting 1/3rd of the $355 million jackpot ( two fish in Idaha and Washington won it). I guess I deserved this for only applying half of the Mega Millions Easy Win Concept (Registered trademark of Moosey Inc). This is where you simply have to be trailer trash to win a large jackpot. So my friend and I dressed up as bums to buy tickets, I put on a t-shirt that said "Welcome to the gunshow" with two arrows pointing at my arms, sweatpants, old shoes, and a hat. I was missing the key ingredient, live in east bumblefok America in order to win. Hey dudu, maybe you should just play it next time and dress normal...

perpetually inversed

Honestly can't remember the last time I had a winning session.

Can't afford to take any more breaks

not starting off so hot.

anybody have a tissue?


edit: took the advice for mtts and fired up the 2750 gtd...3rd orbit guy Limp/jams 125 bb utg gloating the mighty KQs (I had AQ and woulda held but uh w.e)....he open shoves like 5 more times before I snap him with kings...can't fade the A5o for a 75 bb open shove utg+1 and the good ole Nice Hand remark.

Gut said you're losing this as I call

Gut says you're going to lose everything

Gut says you're fucked

Where can one purchase a new one of these? One that's filled with joy when he sees a big hand and a fucking spaztard open shove into it. It must have some price. Some price.

....3500 r/a went abt the same with some one going rr w/ 45s having me as pfr utg

I hope this chainsaw carving shit works bc I refuse to do chemistry for 12$/hr and this poker thing is meh