Nobody likes bullitpete. Why am I not surprised?

LOL @ the comments to dudu's post...

Anyway,

So I played for more than 2 hours for the first time in...oh say...like 2 months...in fact I played about 6 hours...6 tabling 2-4. So I get stuck 3400$ in the first 90 minutes or so. Who's surprised? Raise your hands. Yeah, I wasn't surprised either. Anyway so I end up playing for 6 hours to get back in the black and learn the following:

1. Games are incredibly good! I was actually surprised to find games this good on a wednesday night
2. I'm not happy with the way I played. Yeah I'm a bit rusty but I played pretty bad. SHould have won a lot more than I did. Meh. At least I shook some rust off.
3. I was going to record the session but ended up not starting camtasia because I didn't think I was going to play for more than an hour since I had plans to workout...yeah. I don't know why I wrote this, but I figure the people who actually visit this site want to know every single detail of my life.

And speaking of my life and working out...those morons renovating my gym are taking an awfully long time. It's been a month since I've lifted and I feel weak. I think I've lost 5lbs. This is not good for the summer.

Oh, before I forget...the whining:

I played shorter session last week or something...booked a nice solid -7k or so. Ship the 3200$ 1 outer to the swede who runs so so good against me...

I haven't been 1 outed in a while...but I did 1 out someone recently so I guess it's all relative...I even have the HH saved...



But generally, unlike dudu who runs like god 24/7, I'm running pretty bad.


It's almost 1am and I have to wake up at 5 to go to the auto auction tomorrow to buy like 4 cars. Bleh. Isn't this why I started playing poker? To not wake up at 5am for road trips to PA? I guess it's okay since I might buy something for myself as well...

This post sucks. But I'm tired and I've already written it.

Dudu butchers Ron Burgundy.

Oh and dudu: Stop telling fish that they are fish. TIA.

And if you don't know what to write about on your next blog entry, try telling everyone how much better your game has gotten since you've been talking to me on AIM for the last year. Maybe someone will be stupid enough to buy lessons from me. Just leave my mega tilting I do out of it.

No Title

Sooo I got my Suzuki Samurai out on Monday, it was kick ass, great land etc etc. Thought we were going to roll it once but managed not to. No need in going into detail on that since I am a piss poor writer it would be useless.

District 5 hockey HAS A FUCKIN WIN NOW!!!!!!!! BOOM

Ummmm, poker has been ok, I get my teeth kicked in live now... But my PDC roll is on an upward stint since dropping to baseball2k7, almost pitiful the way I had to build it but hey live and learn I guess. (though pitiful on how I had to build it, impressive on how fast I did build what I have)

PDC won't let a good player win a live seat... I swear, some noob wins it.

Now I am going to tell a story, a little story about a player named DAVEGK

DAVEGK is a PDC player, or one of the skins. He started off April like any other guy, playing 5$ tourneys, 10$ sitgos, and probably 10c 25c cash games....

Dave woke up one Sunday in mid April and used a coupon that he won to play the 50K Tourney on PDC, Dave strikes for 4000$ and Dave is happy! So happy he proceeds to 2 table 5-10 NL

Dave loves to talk, about how good he plays, and how he has been around for a long time playing stakes like these. But we all tell Dave he is full of shit, and he has no clue what he is doing. He is a fish to say the least, he walks on water calling 3bets with A7o 970 and the likes. He flops pairs, 2 pairs, trips and sometimes even straights! And he continues to think this is how easy poker is, as if everyone else at the table has no balls to continue further with 2 pair, or a straight so he thinks he bluffs everyone out I guess.

As many times as I can remind Dave that he is legally retarded if he thinks he is going to last long playing higher limits, he refuses to think he is a bad player. I have a feeling Dave is about 30-35 years of age, recently divorced, and finding himself doing drugs like methamphetamines.

Oh did I mention Dave won a WSOP seat the following week? Sigh....

Anyhow, Dave has not cooled off just yet, but he will. I told him I would give him 8K for his seat when he goes broke, and he said "but its worth 12,500" and I said "but youll be broke and desperate, just find me" Dave says "I will never go broke" I said "you will be broke before mid May"

I hope you all enjoyed my official worst blog post ever.

You stay classy San Diego

Many posts of my idiocy await!

I've done lots of dumb things recently and as soon as I have the desire to write them up...they will be posted.

You know what gives Jay the desire to entertain his vast legion of fans (yes all 3 of you)? Money. Naked pictures of your wives or girlfriend. Offerings of first born children. You get the picture.

FCUKMONEY @ Gmail.com

Oh, I must mention something that dudu and I were reminiscing about recently...

Last years WSOP he, myself and some other people all went to eat at The Wynn...anyway as we're sitting there eating...the one and only Annette_15 (picture below) walks by. I take a moment to point this out and dudu goes absolutely nuts:






WHAT!? ANNETTE_15?!! NO WAY DUDE. THATS NOT HER! WHERE WHERE? YOU'RE LYING!

Anyway, for the next 15 minutes he proceeds to run around like a chicken without a head while loudly proclaiming his undying love for anette.

It was kind of sad and funny at the same time. So, anette, if you're reading this blog, I advise you to stay away from one Dudu McWeeWee.

Oh, is anyone else NOT surprised dudu's hockey team didn't win a single game all season? NOT ONE GAME!

If you're stupid, then I am an ahole.

So you may or may not know I sold my car last month...well if you've ever sold a car you know that about 95% of the people who call you about the car are useless, stupid and illogical...but my absolute favorite was this guy who called yesterday:

Ring ring

Jay: "Yo"
Caller: "Hi yes, im uhh, calling about the car.." [I cut him off]
Jay: "It's been sold"
Caller: "Oh...uhh...really...well...uhh...how much did you sell it for?"
Jay: "Five thousand."
Caller: [At this point he get excited] "What? That is very cheap...why so cheap?"
Jay: "Well, the guy who bought it had his wife and daughter take turns blowing me."
Caller: "Asshole!" Then he hangs up.

Dude sounded like he was in his late 30's.

Sure. If you must be stupid, I must be an asshole. Life's unfair.

In other, far sadder and almost tragical news, a reader has compared this blog to...wait for it...ANDREW WIGGINS. My life, as I know it, is now over. This is one of the worst things anyone has ever said about this blog or as a reference to anything pertaining to me. Frankly, the only reason that I have not yet slit my own throat is the tiny shred of hope that the awful person who made this horrific remark somehow miraculously skipped over all posts written by me and made this comparison only referring to the drivel provided by 3up and dudu. For the sake of my own sanity, let us hope that I am right.

Now if you'll excuse me, I am off to cry and hope that I drown in my own tears.

Okie Fuckin Dokie

Ill post again, its been a long time, lots of roller coaster swings.... Idk what the fuck I am doing lately.

Lets see, after my last post which was prob about a month ago (sorry) I spewed off almost 20K to a feller named Baseball2K7, this fuckhead british dude that I tilt to more than anyone I have ever tilted to in my life. I ran like shit and he ran like god wins every single race, coolers me preflop, I tilt he reaps the rewards.

So I took a couple day break, came back wanted to rebuild safely, kept testing the tables and every time I sat on any ring game I lost. Pick up any hands and they get cracked, so I was running like shit ok fine... I play HU sitgos last 10 days or so, and some scarce cash (which seems to be going a bit better now) So I will jump back in to the ring games soon. Doing ok on the HU sitgos, picked up about 6K back through .coms small tourneys and HU sitgos.

Cake was goot when I was cold on PDC. I ran up a storm playing MTTs and some cash, gone cold in cash so now I am only playin MTTs on Cake.

Im even reckless and put 600$ (yea big dep I know) on AP to play some tourneys, 1st in the 50R for 4400$ and some 1-2 - 5-10 HU added another 4K to my roll so now I am kind of rolled there. So everything looking back to normal healthy on poker againt atleast.

Oh did I mention I spewed 13K off to Baseball2k7 in ONE SESSION ON 5-10! I was hammered, I even had to sit out to puke from my alcohol consumption at one point, focusing on a monitor makes me sick when I am hammered. Fuckhead.... He has ratpacked all of that I am sure. Though I hope he lost it to someone even though this would mean I won't get a chance at him.

Life news, our hockey team blows. Sorry fellas. We lose every game almost. I joined an indoor soccer team, soccer does suck but we get absolutely anhiliated before every game and I have 2 buddies who are really good at soccer so we win every game.

I keep buying stupid shit online... stuff I don't really need. IE tshirts with retarded sayings on them "You can read this fine if we 69" (written upside down) now who would wear that? Apparently I thought I would so I bought it. Along with several other shirts but that one the most useless in my opinion (though it is a hoody) (that I buy when it starts to warm up?)

I buy random movies I never watch, I buy clothes and shoes that don't even fit because I am too lazy to go to the mall. I am just reckless with money.

My bar tabs never come out to less than 150$ (and usually run to 300-400$)because I have this nasty habit of buying anyone in seeing distance a shot every time I want one.

I am almost out of absinthe, nothing good has come from this product, this is what I was drinking when I tossed baseball2k7 that bulk chunk. But yet I will probably buy more....

I started taking vitamins. Hangovers are wayyyy less horrible than they formerly were, YAY!

I am reading tax books. Slooooooowly..... rock on

Montpelier VT is the only state capitol in the US without a McDonalds!!!!!!!!

The cost of living in NYC:

If you accidentally forget your condoms, that you ordered from condommania, at home. It will cost you $5 to buy 3 trojans from a grocery on christopher street. And no contrary to what many of you may think, I do not routinely visit christopher street...it was just the first street I saw with a grocery on the corner.

There is a XXX version of this story which you have to be on my aim list to listen to. Or maybe I should just make a blog dedicated to my love life. The first post would say..."so I induced a chicks period to day..." If you've ever done that, you know what color your hand/other organs become...[insert captain picard facepalm pic]


F MY LIFE

J

I'm an alchoholic.

On Saturday night, I pass up an invitation to a strippers birthday party ( all of her friends are strippers too) to get drunk with my uncle.

What is wrong with me?

I Am A 7th Street God

Full Tilt Poker Game #11445290912: $200 + $10 Heads Up Sit & Go Table 1 - 60/120 Ante 10 - Limit Razz
Seat 1: Villain (1,083)
Seat 2: Hero (1,917)
Villain antes 10
Hero antes 10
*** 3RD STREET ***
Dealt to Villain
Dealt to Hero
Villain is high with
Hero brings in for 20
Villain completes it to 60
Hero calls 40
*** 4TH STREET ***
Dealt to Villain
Dealt to Hero
Hero bets 60
Villain calls 60
*** 5TH STREET ***
Dealt to Villain
Dealt to Hero
Hero bets 120
Villain calls 120
*** 6TH STREET ***
Dealt to Villain
Dealt to Hero
Hero checks
Villain bets 120
Hero calls 120
*** 7TH STREET ***
Dealt to Hero
Hero bets 120
Villain raises to 240
Hero calls 120
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Villain shows J,9,7,4,A
Hero shows T,9,6,4,3
Hero wins the pot (1,220) with T,9,6,4,3
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 1,220 | Rake 0
Seat 1: Villain showed and lost with J,9,7,4,A
Seat 2: Hero showed and won (1,220) with T,9,6,4,3

But Jay doesn't want to buy a piece of me so I can play the 10k HORSE SCOOP. WTF?