Flatlander

An egregious term used by local mountain folk to describe the myriad of idiotic drivers attempting to migrate from the valleys below to and through a small tourist town 7800 feet up in the San Bernardino forest called Big Bear.

Tues 28th: 55 degrees and snow melting

Wed 29th: 21 degrees 8 inches of snow dropped shaaabang!

Thur 30th: 45 degrees and sunny

Cali is awesome!

The drivers are even better. I bitched and moaned already about the trip up, and now it's time to rant about the trip down.

The road down/up is a highway. 55 mighty miles per hour. Granted we're going down/up a mtn, but there are courtesy signs to let you know what's up.

I wait till noon today so that the ice has had sufficient time to melt on the roads. The road has some residual H2O and dirt. Nothing more. Not a speck of ice or snow.

These fucking flatlanders and their obnoxious tire rings aka chains with max speeds of a whopping 30 mph are everywhere. Like a fucking ice cream cone dropped on an ant hill. Swarming. Swerving. Puttsing down the fucking mtn. Sometimes we got up tooooooo....wait for iiiiit....36 MILES PER HOUR.

I was fucking going insane. Two lane highway wrapping around mtn sides couldn't hold me back as I red lined my beast in 2nd gear around about 30 cars. A couple close adrenaline pumpers but that's usually a given.

And then we stop. A good solid 13 minutes just fucking sitting there because some rich pos driving a beamer can't stay on the fucking highway and needs a tow.

Two lane highway.

Tow truck.

Rich beamer fuckstick. adfskglnalksngfvklsdfngvlknw rlk

It was an extra hour and half drive. Thank you. Please come back to my little town again with your 3500$ snowboarding getup as you ride the bunny slopes all day or get blasted with powder as I shred past ur kooky ass posted up in the middle of the run.

Now to more enlightening stuff. I wanted to post up there, but the service I steal blows and the mac won't recognize my phone blah blah blah

Quick synopsis of Wednesday.

My lil bro wanted to learn how to board, so we hit the slopes during the storm. Powder everywhere and minimal flatlanders because they can't crawl up the mtn when it's snowing. It really is absurd to watch these people drive in snow.

Anyways, epic day with no complaints. I was warm from the midsection up but skipped the longjohns to my lower half's dismay. My scrotum was shrived worse than a prune that's been sunbaked in the Mojave desert, testicles were tickling the esophagus, 3 inch ice crystals in the shape of Spartan spears dangled precariously off my ass hairs and couldn't see a 100 feet in front of me.

I was grinning ear to ear like a 12 year old on Marti Gras who just laid his orbs on a firm set of double D's wobbling to and fro so close he could reach out and pinch those perky nips.

It was a fucking blast!


I have a cabin on a hill up there with one old hag who is cop happy and hates anything remotely entertaining or fun in life. The cops were called no less that 4 times on me for the following reasons.

Kneeboarding up/down the hill while getting towed by a quad.

Tubing that same hill with powder dusting the face and spinning in uncontrollable circles.

Building snow porn in the front yard.

All neighbors were laughing, taking pics etc. Shit, even the first cop was getting a kick out of it. He rolled up n said there was a complaint about some snowmen and that we'd have to tear it down if another call came in. Before he left though he busted out the phone for some quick snapshots. Next year the street has agreed to collaborate and erect snowporn in every yard. Old hag's gonna shit a brick lolz

Enjoy the pics





Welcome aboard moosenator. Epic 1st post as ecpected.

Peace the fuck out

First Post

First entry will be me crying...

Seat 6 is the button
Seat 1: Decent BumHunter ( $25562.82 USD )
Seat 2: DaMoose ( $20000.00 USD )
Seat 3: Villian ( $20000.00 USD )
Seat 4: DaJay ( $36901.00 USD )
Seat 5: OUTDOORSMAN ( $81010.34 USD )
Seat 6: Very bad bumhunting reg ( $16843.00 USD )
Seat 8: BumhuntingFish ( $10750.00 USD )
BumhuntingFish posts small blind [$50.00 USD].
Decent BumHunter posts big blind [$100.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to DaJay [ 8d Ts ]
Da moose raises [$300.00 USD]
Villian raises [$1900.00 USD]
Da Jay folds
OUTDOORSMAN folds
Very bad bumhunting reg folds
BumhuntingFish folds
Decent BumHunter folds
DaMoose raises [$4500.00 USD]
Villian raises [$18100.00 USD]
DaMoose calls [$15200.00 USD]
Da Moose shows [Ac, Ah ]
Villian shows [5d, 9d ]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 2h, 8c, 4h ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 3d ]
** Dealing River ** [ As ]
Villian wins $40147.00 USD from main pot


FML,

I will not to try and cry on this blog, but it is inevitable that it will happen.

Edit by Jay: EVERYBODYS WELCOME DA MOOSE. HE is a bad human. You probably already know him.

Happy Holidays

In the spirit of the holidays, I am offering a gift (and I use that term veeeeery loosely) for one of our readers or contributors.

If you send me a video of no more than 20 minutes of poker play, I will watch it and reply to you with my thoughts about the hands played. It doesn't have to be your video. I'll review your friends, mothers, grandmothers, sisters boyfriends uncles play, if this is what you send me.

I suggest that you send a hold'em cash game video in a 6max or heads up format, since that is where my advice would be most useful. I'll critique 9handed, sit n go or tournament play too, but I do not recommend it.

Do not send OMAHA, Razz, Stud, pineapple, crazy jim, or anythign of this nature. You may, however, send 2-7 or badugi.

I know this is kind of a late thing so I'll take submissions up until the 12 of Jan. If two or more people send videos....and I highly doubt this will happen, I will randomly choose which video I review. Maybe Dudu will review the other one. If this happenes, I take no responsibility for the damage his terrible advice may have on your game nor the impact of his Oklahoma cowboy accent on your ears.

Oh, actually, if you play razz or stud8, you can send in your video too. I will have 3up comment on it since he is pretty much a Razz/stud8 god.

Send video links to: fcukmoney at gmail

J

P.s. All of a sudden, this blog has gotten very amusing.

I cant wait for this year to be over.

Ran so so bad for the last 6 months. Not that it would matter if the year ends since its 1 long session, but a fish can dream..can't he?

Today was a stupid day. I'm still playing as I type this but at the moment i am down 10k, with an adjusted ev of +2k. Swell. Though, this is not really indictive of the worst:

Cards are coming out so incredibly ugly for me in the non all in pots.

And I spewed a bunch

And I broke another mouse.

I should be more mad than I currently am. I've calmed down. I was steaming hard. It's kind of lame though that fish keep beating me and giving it away. Really, it is.

just so frustrated. I've seen so many big pairs and they've never seen a flop without an ace on board. So many walks in the BB. So many lam shortstcks shoving over. So frustrating.

At one point was losing every pot. Would just get it in and lose. AK vs AK. I proudly think "now give him the flush" cause i know it's coming and sue enough bink bink. Then they shove every 6 hands and I call and fist pump with queens...into kings. Blah blah blah. Non stop. Keep it coming. I love pain and misery.

Top it all off, while I run bad vs fish and random regs and bumhunters...I run well vs my friends and dent their rolls. Not that I'm complaining about that too much, just lame I abuse my buddies instead of the scum of the universe.

DEATH TO ALL TRAINING SITES AND GAME SELECTION ADVOCATES

Complete fish says the following:

Fish> you have to much of an edge on me
Fish> gl


Not a bumhunter. Not a shortstacker. Not some random semi pro. These words were typed by a complete fish. May all training sites die. It's not that these losers are going to teach him to play well, it's that they're going to teach him not to play.

Remember kids, the key to victory is game selection! I can't wait till the day comes when no one plays anyone. I don't care. I'll survive, but the bumhunters won't.

People are idiots.

But good thing sites are starting to see the light...only about 2 years to late. I wonder how long it will take them to implement verything I said 2 years ago. Table caps, sit out restrictions, longer buyin wiping periods.

Maybe another 2 years when the games are completely dead? Maybe. Maybe in 4?

Maybe in 10? Who cares it's coming eventually right? Do you think I want to be 35 years old grinding out 10-20 vs 18 year olds all day? Why the hell do people mess with basic free market principals? Protecting the masses only leads to mediocrity and unhappyness.

ATTN KoTTon

No more of these penny stakes hands or I'm revoking your posting privledges.

Feel free to whine in an entertaining manner but stop with this crap.

Also Moose is a terrible person.

it was pretty fucking stupid

Left at 10:30p for what shoulda been a 3 hr trip tops. I beat the snow. I couldn't fade the mudslides and boulders that could easily throw u off the side of the mtn. Turns out the woman doesn't fancy camping out in the truck with frigid weather and rain pelting the truck for 6 hrs till sunrise. Made three different attempts to ascend the mtn from various sides and detours until bout 11am when the original highway we were going for opened up. Was only an extra 114 miles and 10 hrs stuck in a cramped ass truck with the girly. Good times ladies, good times.

A new low has been reached in the scum that is the bumhunter!

So i'm sitting at 10-20 6max by myself minding my own business when a bumhunting retard shows up and sits with me. This is a very strange occurance because for the most part these people avoid me like dudu avoids contact with females.

Anyway so I don't have autopost on and get sat out. Before posting, I specifically type into the chat box "if you're going to hit n run i'd rather not play". Okay, kind of a dumb request..if a guy is going to hit n run he's going to do it anyway, right? Well, this guy multitables 6max so he may have just wanted to start a game...and usually if no one comes they sit out (unless they are down money).

Anyway, so I think I make it perfectly clear that I wanted to play long or not at all. I mean if he told me he just wanted to try to start a game I'd have gladly just given him the table. So I wait a minutes or so to make sure he read what I wrote...he doesn't respond...so I sit in assuming he wants to play. And we start...he gets down 25bb and reloads...we contnue for abotu 30 hands...as soon as he wins a 40bb pot he SNAP SITS OUT! Like SNAP!

Now, it's not like he doesn't know me or how I play. He's been playing with me for months. And it's not like he's quiting because he was playing on 3 of my other tables. So why on earth would someone do this?

To be a scumbag, thats why. These people are the lowest life forms known to man. They just do things specifically to annoy others without any sort of benefit. They're like the kind of people who walk around scratching other people's cars just for the hell of it.

There is nothing more I despise than people like this. Nothing. I would not be against people like this becoming terminally ill with painful diseases. I really wouldn't. They add absolutely nothing to the world.

On the one hand, you might have someone who does something to gain something or as a retaliation for something you did. That's fine. These people need to exist. There's a method to their madness. But then you have these vermin who just do nasty things jus because...even if you specifically ask them not to do them and they gain nothing by doing them.

I've never understood this. I just don't get it. Why? Why would you do something like this?

I totally understand the owner of a tire shop who litters some corner with nails to drive up business. I get it. I do. But what does the homeless guy scratching peoples cars in a parking lot have to gain? It's absurd.

And these people are ABUNDENT in the poker world. Just abundent. Just everywhere. I wish someone, somewhere would seriously hurt people like this. Maybe break their legs in such a way that they are in a wheelchair for the rest of their lives. That seems like a fitting punishment...at the very least.

J

P.s. I'm really really really sorry I let Kotton on here. But we need the content. And yes I know we suck and he's not helping. Fully aware thank you very much.

omw north

I can be stupid, and this is probably pretty fucking stupid. Mobbing 220 miles north to my cabin (it's 11pm) in big bear (8000 miles higher in elevation and colder than my beloved dago) in the midst of the biggest storm in years dumping more rain in the past two days than predicted for the entire month in hopes I beat the snow. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Prob not blogging unless something noteworthy happens. WTF noteworthy happens at ssnl? I'm sure there will be something if not some gay pictorial blog at the min.

Merry fucking Christmas u hobags

Craigslist rant

Don't get me wrong, this place is hoard of fascinating information and artifacts. The rants and raves section here is infamous for it smut smattered posts in submissive poses and don't even get me started on the free section. I mean seriously, you can furnish your whole fucking house. Sometimes it can be really nice shit since I live near a bunch of rich snobs (La Jolla) who always keep up with the latest trends.

On the flip side, selling something can be a nightmare. Being in San Diego, I'm somewhat close to that thing we call a border. These poor little brown people cross into my country and the fuck if I can figure out how they know about craigslist, let alone internet access. My gpa is having me clear his shit out, so I've been having my fair share of craigslist ron de vous. My fucking ads are very clear, concise and can't be anymore str8 to the pt. I say don't call me haggling a price because it's already at the lowest I'll take. These fucking beaners have the nerve to call without being able to formulate a complete sentence with offers no where near what it's listed at. After denying their request, three separate numbers, three different beans who can't speak, three different ways of me saying fuck off you're not getting it cheaper. "Ahh, u take two hunda dollas fo da laaayyyytheeee?" Fuck off! Go back to your fucking country where you barter for half assed, lead infested garbage and leave me the fuck alone.

On the verge of glory!

Stay tuned for more details!

Kotton,

What a terrible prediction. Koshchek had about as much chance of winning as I have of following the rules I set for myself.

In fact, I was so sure he was going to get raped, I passed up getting 5:1 on him. Dudu has a better shot of getting laid in vegas without paying for it.

fight recap

I was wrong, and the old lady is "cleaning" the kitchen which actually sounds like someone doing a demo so apparently I got too drunk. Blinds were raked open, drawers slamming and the to-do list is growing by the second. Hooray Sailor Jerry

Fight Night Biatch

Predictions:

Koscheck knocks out George 1st round maybe 2nd tops

Thiago and whoever the fck this black fool is will bang to no other and should be sick

too drunk to remember the rest

poker:

haven't played in quite some time; money is stuck on two sites

hooray month to month living!

-ssnl slave4life

Any day I break even

is a winning day.

I will never again play heads up limit holdem against anyone who isn't a total fish as long as I live.

If I do, I will donate Ten Thousand dollars to feminists.

Hmm.

When the gods of variance see fit, in all of their infinite wisdom, to pull me out of this ice cube and light me on fire, I will torch the skys!