Obligatory monthly post.

Yes. I suck at blog posting...but that's why we have 3 readers. And that's why these 3 readers keep coming back here. Hey, at least you guys are loyal!

So I finished up August by winning more than most people make in a year. Go meeee. Who cares? I suck anyway cause I'm down like 15kish in September and I've only played like one day online and 4-5 live. Clearly winning is NOT for me.

So what have I been up to in September? Well...I was pretty sick of poker so I didn't play much and obviously skipped WCOOP. So did 3up. In fact, he didn't play the 10k HORSE like he said he would. Pansy (feel free to replace pansy with an expletive of your choice). Word is not bond eh, Mr. Diamond? I am still officially the dumbest and most degenerative contributor of this blog. YES!!?

So back to that 1 day I've played online: I sucked. I busted my FTP acct (AGAIN). Dear FTP: I hate you. Yes I played pretty badly, but I always do. I was experimenting with some weird HU styles just so I can say I learned something from a raptor/cts vid...but I didn't.

Live Poker: These people are so bad at poker that I must be the worst poker player alive because I keep losing. In fact, they are so horrific that breaking even is a SIN!

2 funny hands very briefly:

1. I flop the nut flush vs low flush & top set multiway. I fold it face up on the river, dude shows me the obvious straight flush. I lose ALMOST the minimum. I don't know who should be embarrassed more...those 2 guys for sucking so much or me for not losing the absolute minimum.

2. There's a straddle, a restraddle and a sleeper. I am first to act on the button. I raise more than half my stack and get 4 callers. I do not win. Q7dd scoops.

So what have I been doing if I'm not playing cards? Going out, causing trouble and debauchery. I just made an $80 purchase at condommania.com. They like me. I qualified for a shipping discount! Ballin'.

Also I've learned that medical & dental labs, offices and pretty much anyone connected with medicine makes a ton of money but they have to go to school for a very long time. There is only one solution: I must open one of these offices and hire all these people who went to school for a very long time and piggyback off their intelligence. There is no other choice.

I'm thinking of buying some property so I am going to spend some time driving around and low balling desperate people. We'll see what happens. NYC Real Estate is insanely expensive. A million dollars buys a small closet in the hood.

Now: I just played poker. I am very rusty. I lost desire to play after 20hands. This is not good. There is a slight chance I will be going to Vegas in October for about a week. My friend Dudu will not be there, so if you'd like to take his place and flip quarters for money with me, holla via the comments or fcukmoney[at]gmail.com

J