Learn from my mistakes!

Don't watch random movies...especially ones where Keanu Reeves shows up. Street Kings sucked. F+. The + is for Hugh Laurie.

Match Point was sort of interesting...and by sort of I mean the most interesting part was how hot Scarlett Johansson looked. Baby, you can apply to be my GF anytime. Feel free to holla: fcukmoney at gmail.com

Poker: lol.


I know this update sucked, but at least it was better than Dan lieberman or whoever the hell we have posting here now.

Jay

P.s. Attention would be spammers and random con-men / advertisers: Stop e-mailing me about stupid 2 cent per click link exchange programs or whatever various schemes you plan to plot against me. You are all evil and in case you hadn't noticed, we don't like money here very much...at least not in small amounts. Offer me a Ferrari and maybe a date with Scarlett Johansson and we can do business. Otherwise, try houseofpokerblues.com. That dude will put up anything for a buck.

FK YOOO JAY I BLOG FINE!

Well, it turns out I am not very good at poker. I can not win a pot in a merge ringgame. I play like a pussy and let people drill draws on me. I can however win a few MTTs, TLB is mine on FT this month and that is only the real upside to this month. Would be a legit month if I could avoid merge, the place that used to treat me like a human being.

I bought a badass nintendo chair this week... (gaming chair) and some accessories so I play on my 42' LCD now, which I found out has a PC setting so it looks perfectly clear and I can sit back and play for 24 hours now with no problems now other than taking a piss with 16-20 games running and being insanely greasy by the end of the session.


Someone plz buy Jay a PS3 as he can not afford one.


I do suck at blogging....

Win 10k, lose 10k, this is my life.

+10k in 3 days.

-10k in 3 hours.

Sounds fun, doesn't it?

3up broke his computer, someone hacked my blog.

I know some of you have been wondering where our version of Deuce Bigalow is...and by some of you I mean the one friend he has, not the imaginary horde of women throwing their panties at his feet...well...no he's not dead. This fish broke his computer and donated his laptop to charity or something. I'm not sure because all I could understand in the 3 minutes I talked to him is that he is very mad at the stock market and plans to make us a lot of money in the next 6 months.

Cool. I could always use a lot of money. More money = more hate. And we all know I'm a hater.


Now for less important things and people: I don't know who this zimmerman guy is, how he showed up here, or what he wants, but he appears to be stupid and have no regard for money, people, or the consequences of his actions. He'll fit right in.

Oh, I almost forgot. I have a retarded friend who wants to bet me $5,000 that I can't win $10,000 in 3 months playing only 200NL and specifically on UB. lol? Would be a total waste of my time for $5,000, so I'm trying to get him to up the bet to at least 10K. The only problem is, I've pretty much boycotted UB because they are thieves and morons who don't deserve my a penny of my rake. On the other hand, making my friend feel like an idiot and taking his 10K would feel pretty good...decisions, decisions....

J

Contributer!

Look at me!

Superb first post if you ask me.


Anyone who reads this blog, (which I have more than reasonable reason to believe that noone does) leave a comment in this post so we can get a head count! This will highly motivate the frequency and dedication of my posts.

G'Day
Vernon Zimmerman

Played a short session.

Bleh. I don't play well when I don't want to play + I'm rusty.

So I obv play 2kNL:

Got coolered a few hands but I should have gotten away from 1 and made a questionable river call in a different hand.

Donked KK into AA in a 4bet pot where villain prob has AA 90% of the time and QQ10% and KK like once every 6 months or something. Was actually really really considering folding but I'm a donk. -2k

Then I called a large river bet with an overpair in a large pot on a dry board where I was fine with calling 2 streets but should have probably pitched the river. Instead, I decide to look the dude up and he shows me 2 aces. Which wasn't surprising, I don't think he bluffs that river with our dynamics for the day. Asghdasd!!! I really don't think call/fold ratio was as close as it may have seemed to me...but gotta live in the moment. Meh. -3k

Overall I sucked and finished up by breaking even.

I feel the rust and still have no desire to really play.

At least I'm updating right? All of you are heartless bastards who enjoy my misery. C'mon jay go play go update go lose some more money....oh wait...that's pretty much my train of thought too.

:(

Obligatory monthly post.

Yes. I suck at blog posting...but that's why we have 3 readers. And that's why these 3 readers keep coming back here. Hey, at least you guys are loyal!

So I finished up August by winning more than most people make in a year. Go meeee. Who cares? I suck anyway cause I'm down like 15kish in September and I've only played like one day online and 4-5 live. Clearly winning is NOT for me.

So what have I been up to in September? Well...I was pretty sick of poker so I didn't play much and obviously skipped WCOOP. So did 3up. In fact, he didn't play the 10k HORSE like he said he would. Pansy (feel free to replace pansy with an expletive of your choice). Word is not bond eh, Mr. Diamond? I am still officially the dumbest and most degenerative contributor of this blog. YES!!?

So back to that 1 day I've played online: I sucked. I busted my FTP acct (AGAIN). Dear FTP: I hate you. Yes I played pretty badly, but I always do. I was experimenting with some weird HU styles just so I can say I learned something from a raptor/cts vid...but I didn't.

Live Poker: These people are so bad at poker that I must be the worst poker player alive because I keep losing. In fact, they are so horrific that breaking even is a SIN!

2 funny hands very briefly:

1. I flop the nut flush vs low flush & top set multiway. I fold it face up on the river, dude shows me the obvious straight flush. I lose ALMOST the minimum. I don't know who should be embarrassed more...those 2 guys for sucking so much or me for not losing the absolute minimum.

2. There's a straddle, a restraddle and a sleeper. I am first to act on the button. I raise more than half my stack and get 4 callers. I do not win. Q7dd scoops.

So what have I been doing if I'm not playing cards? Going out, causing trouble and debauchery. I just made an $80 purchase at condommania.com. They like me. I qualified for a shipping discount! Ballin'.

Also I've learned that medical & dental labs, offices and pretty much anyone connected with medicine makes a ton of money but they have to go to school for a very long time. There is only one solution: I must open one of these offices and hire all these people who went to school for a very long time and piggyback off their intelligence. There is no other choice.

I'm thinking of buying some property so I am going to spend some time driving around and low balling desperate people. We'll see what happens. NYC Real Estate is insanely expensive. A million dollars buys a small closet in the hood.

Now: I just played poker. I am very rusty. I lost desire to play after 20hands. This is not good. There is a slight chance I will be going to Vegas in October for about a week. My friend Dudu will not be there, so if you'd like to take his place and flip quarters for money with me, holla via the comments or fcukmoney[at]gmail.com

J