I want to whine!

Okay, so before I get to the good part (obviously the whining), I'll tell you fish what's been happening since the last update:

3up sucks and busted out of that retard poker tour or whatever the hell he was supposed to play reaaal quick. Then he flew to vegas and busted out of the 3k horse even quicker...something or other about some guy playing KQ in razz or something, I don't know...but he was like the 3rd person out. I had a piece of him there too...money well spent.

Was in vegas during June. Skipped the wsop events. Played cash games for 10 days straight...ran atrocious. Got coolered a bunch of times in unavoidable spots, couldn't make a draw, had some guy who looked like Jesus Christ play a hand horrendously and then check the flush to me on the river...thats a silent command for me to bet the pot with 7high. I ended up folding to his all in for like $100 more into a 2k pot or something. Pretty funny actually. Not really.

Live poker sucks. The only big pots I won I bluffed. The players are pretty bad but it's so boring and tedious, it felt like actual work. I worked hard for the pots I won. Also live players suck. I know I already said that but I don't think I can stress that enough...I wish I could 8 table against them online.

Let's see...what else...oh! A guy who referred to himself as "Snake" challenged me to 10K heads up in a 2-5 game but backed out. Funny story. From the begining:

I'm donking it up in a 2-5 game and there's a middle aged gentleman reading a newspaper between every hand...needless to say...this makes the already slow pace of live poker even slower...combined with my ADD, this isn't a good thing. Nevertheless, I didn't say anything partly because I thought maybe he'd finish up and partly because I was texting an ex gf between every hand too. Anyway, you have to picture this guy to fully understand his idiocy. He wore a jacket that said "snake", he wore a hat that said "snake", he had 3 card protectors, yep all of them snakes, and he liked to call himself snake.

So fast forward a few rounds, he takes a half hour to fold his hands preflop because he's busy reading his paper or something. Fine. I get into a pot with a guy to my left and am now facing a half pot river bet...I have like 3rd pair or something so I'm asking the guy questions trying to get info. Hell why else would you play live poker? If I wanted to autopilot, I'd do it online.

This pisses snake off to no end. He starts yelling for me to muck the hand already. Enough is enough. I flip on the guy with words of fury telling him to shut his mouth because he takes an hour to fold pre flop and he should mind his business while I'm in a hand. He apparently doesn't like my brash attitude and challenges me to "10k heads up right now!" lol. Idiot. I point out the fact that he's sitting in a 2-5 game with $250 and hasn't reloaded while everyone at the table has him covered 4-5x over and yet he's challenging me to 10k heads up...does he not realize how foolish he looks? Actually, that was a stupid question...dude is fascinated by a slimy reptile, he has no idea how stupid he is.

Anyway, snake seems to be hell bent on showing me who's boss. He stands up, and reaches his hand into his pocket as if to throw a stack of hundreds on the table so we could play...only one problem...his mouth keeps moving but his hand isn't coming out of his pocket with the money. Oops! Silly snake. The real problem is however that I don't have 10k on me either. The difference is...I have it to my name: I text my boy dan "Bring me 10k immediately. I'm about to get even for vegas" (I spent + lost somewhere between 11 & 13k in vegas so winning 10 would be nice).

Danny boy takes his sweet time but finally shows up. I'm excited. Snake has no idea what's coming. SNAKE, did you say you want to play for 10k? Get a dealer! Of course our boy snake immediately gets up, grabs what's left of his chips and heads over to the cage to cashout. Disaster avoided! Pitty.

I played some tournament towards the end of the trip and would have made day 2 if some dude who has never heard of deoderant didn't 2 out me. I was like 4-5 in chips with 1 level to go..dude limps UTG...he's never limped before...he's got a monster, fold to sb who completes...i see 2 aces in the bb and instapop it...UTG then immediately moves in. QBall on the turn and and i lose 3/4 my chips. Then open utg w/ AK, old lady moves in on me from the button we flip it, I lose. Then I just left. Donkaments lol. Old people lol. No deoderant. Not lol. I was suffocating.

Rest of the trip was clubbing and losing at blackjack, roullette, craps, sports betting and whatever else we could find. I lost at everything possible. Oh no wait, I won at flipping quarters! Yay!

Spent my bday VIP ballin at some club at the hard rock. 3up has to show off and bought some Dom Perignon at like $1k/bottle. Dom's nice and all but it sort of loses it's effect when you've been drinking saki and vodka all night.

Went to the Griffin VS Jackson UFC fight. Great card. First 2 fights we fantastic. Also, while I was rooting for Griffin, Jackson got robbed.

That's pretty much it for vegas. I'll leave the hardcore debauchury and shennenigans for a different time.

On to the best part: the whining!

My god I ran like absolute awfulness today! sahghdjas

I was actually on tilt for 20 minutes 3x. PUKEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

like 2/7 in coin flips but whatever who cares about the flips. Cute hands:

Get it in 99 Vs a4. HAaaaaaaa Ship to A4.
Get it in TT vs A4sooted. Same donk. He really likes A4. It keeps winning.

Dude limp reraises me. lol. I flop a set. He calls flop, raises turn. I decide it's time to play for stacks, he calls off with 9high flush draw. lol.

lol. lol? lol% lol* &lol?

My favorite hand: someone opens bbx5 lol. 4 people call. lol. I call with 33 from sb. we see A34 2 diamonds 6 ways. checks to huge donk who pots it. lol. button cold calls. lol. I ship the stack. Folds to button who tanks and calls off 80bb w/ T9dd. I have no chance.

Open AQhh from sb, fish 3bets me from bb, i 4bet, he donks it. I fist pump and snap call. AJ holds. Nice. I like.

Biggest pot: Button 800ish opens to bbx2. I call JTo from sb, bb calls. Flop: JT2 2 clubs. I think I have a club in my hand. DUnno. We shek shek to button who pots $60, I pops it to OneEighty, bb cold calls a buck 80. Button ships it in, I reship it for 4200, BB calls off 1k more. Oops?

Button: AcJx
BIg Blind: 89o

SHIP IT! But not to me.

So instead of being up 4-5k...I'm down like 2600 and sleepy. Waste of time this poker non-sense...let me tell you.

Also, I need to not vbet as thin vs total donks. It would help if I didn't try to get value from hands that are beating mine cause they play so bad!

I want to 2 out someone for like 3k. That would be nice. I would like very much. Yes.

Maybe I'll update again...sometime in november.

Jay

P.s. VoxGibson is threatning to come back...if you read this blog...please for the love of all that is good leave comments saying that you don't want to read his drivel. I thought I finally got rid of him...but dudes like a cockroach.