Sunday, August 30, 2009

THE BET

Since I have turned into a fat lazy fuck with no motivation. I needed someone or something to get me off my couch. JayNYC was more than happy to oblige. To those who do not known me I have gained 50 lbs. in the past 3 years. So now the gloves have come off. After much negotiation me and Jay have agreed to a Matusow. (Matusow was a fat fuck who won a nice weight loss bet.)
The terms:
Current Weight of my fat ass 232 lb.
Time Period 6 mos.
Weight Loss 35 lbs.
Stakes $500
Now Jay calls me fat boy, chubs and donut muncher, we will see what he will be saying in 6 months. Jay has said that he has already spent the $500.
I am so confident of my winning this bet that I am willing to entertain a further $500 in action.
Just come say hi to me on PDC or Carbon.
depeche212

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Oddddd Sunday.....

Well.... I dont know what to say about today, it was the worst/best even day ever.

First I wake up, find my buddy from Israel and play him 10-20

I give him 10k

3 hands.

First I call a 3bet with K8 cause he is 3betting light/often

flop Ad 10s 3c

he checks I fire 280$ into 440$

He flats

Turn 6s

he checks I check behind to pull at my spade one time.

River 9s

He open ships just over the pot and I call he turns As7s over... Yay nut v 2nd nut.

Slightly tilty.

Ok now he gets tricky at THE PERFECT TIME

I have been 3betting a lot, trying to get that back. I have about 2500 he has me covered with 4kish

he opens to 60 I 3bet to 220 and he flats as usual.

I have AQ by the way

flop As 3c 6d

I bet 320 he raises to 800-900 and I ship it in expecting to see AJ A10 and if he has A3 A6 give it to him.

NOOO AK he doesn't 4bet me with AK for the first time in his life.... not really a bad beat just sick that he gets disguised so well when he is barely competent.

Oh and between those 2 hands I get in pre with QQ v JJ and he spikes a set and cracks me.

And the last hand of mention, I have a stack of about 3k vs his 9kish.

KK for me he opens I 3bet standard he flats.

flop Jc 9d 7c

I bet 320 he flats

Turn 9h I lead 800 he just clicks most of his stack and puts me in.

Ok ok ok, yea I can let my hand go sometimes but NEVER vs him when I am tilted and he is not, he does this with J2 sooted here, and even 88 maybe A7, he moves me in so light when I am tilted.

77 he has though... oh well..

I got a double up back from him a couple times just to tilt it back to him or take a beat and stack off, frustrating session.


OK So I start the day off stuck 10kish.

So my only chance to get even, the 50K which I won and got even... Pretty piss poor, because I have played the 50K 3 times previous to this, never playing it because of hockey games conflicting, I skipped games today to play.

So at first skipping games and being stuck 10K was a pain in the ass and I regretted it. But the 50K is SOOO AWESOME. It is the weakest 100$+ buyin tourney I have ever played.

No hands to bring up, except I busted KK with AJ with like 13 left and got reamed by some tool who thinks I was 100% shoving for value, not that those are his words "your favorite hand is AJ" is more like his words... jackass.... He was opening a lot and I squeeze get lucky lah tee dah.

Then I was short on the final and I ship A7o get called by a fellow from Israel who held the chip lead by 108s (he was BB) and he flops an 8 and I turn a miracle Ace... Yay


So I am in the midst of trying to build a roll outside of PDC and PS and FT where I am starting, just 20 buyins on .50 1.00 all I am allowing myself to use.

It is boring and tough to play the stakes but kind of fun to be able to like 20 table again. So I will kinda keep post of that progress, right now its going "ok" I lost half of my PS 2k in like the first 2 hours playing 6max and FR (hu games were just annoying to me on there, dont think I am going to mess with them) but I have almost got that back in a few sessions afterwards.

G'day

Friday, August 21, 2009

OKKKKK I will post

Ok soooo idk where I am at.... I dont know where I left off..


So I have been running cold vs Israelis, up until a couple days ago. I have been playing poorly too, up until a couple days ago.

So last month recap in a shell.

I moved again, got an apartment, idk why I got an apartment I can't even have my fking grill here there is a community grill at the pool but fuck that. It is a nice apartment though, most expensive ones in Tulsa unless I wanted to live downtown, and I for damn sure don't wanna live downtown.

So I got here and realized I had a shitty poker setup, every time I move I have a shitty setup and have to go out and buy things to make my playing time more comfortable so I bought an L desk so I can prop my feet up, and I bought a nice office chair, setup was just under 2,000$ but it has more than paid for itself thus far.

I am buying a new truck at the end of this month or early to middle part of next month. I have been driving the same truck I have had since I was 17 (i am 23) I have put like 150K miles on it, (it has 275K on it now) and I have had lots of good times, and bad times in the truck. It will be sad when I let it go, but I am so uncomfortable showing women my truck because it is undoubtedly disgusting. Cigarette burns in shapes of smiley faces from friends, bbq sauce stains, blood stains, hockey gear smell. It is just bad, but I love the truck so much, never has broken down on me never given me a problem. I will cry the day I turn it over to someone else, maybe I will just keep it parked for keepsake idk, its not worth a whole hell of a lot. 98 F-150 Lariat EXT Cab. Going to buy a brand new one though. Probably would have sooner if I was not afraid of the IRS but I guess I will start paying taxes too and make it ok.

Hockey has been taking my blog time, this is my excuse, I play on 5 teams, almost each night of the week, and I miss the sunday tourneys every week because of hockey too. And the 50K on Carbon is hands down the best 100$ buyin (well if you are not AJKHoosier or Shaun Deeb) the best all around tourney on the web that americans can play. So I need to get in it more often.

Poker poker poker, I was running bad and playing bad, way too aggressive which I have tamed down.

I just rolled a nice fellow for 20K at 10-20 - not an israeli like I would prefer.

But this started as such.

I get up and check games, see a fish playing an "ok" 2-4 player HU on 10 20 6max. So I naturally sit.

Reg says "HU"

I say "if you had ever played me willingly I would let you"

Reg says "lol I will play you right now"

I say "10 20?"

Reg says "obv"

I say "ok"

Reg says "i have a table come sit"

I say "thats another 6max table, I have a HU table come"

Reg says "lol ok i see how you are"

about 5 minutes goes by of him not joining, his last comment was calling me out to be a pussy I guess....

Reg shows up, he is 3betting insanely often, and very very aggressive and I am not handling it well, I have 4bet him prob 4-5 times and been shoved on every time and I back down, I am stuck about 3k to him at most.

Then I steam roll. We play a couple big pots where I flop a set and he ends up shoving me in for 3k on river (9k pot) with a garb hand.

So after a few bigger pots, I go outside for a cigarette. And while I am sitting there I think to myself about times I jumped up high to play and how I played. I remember having 2k in my accounts at times a long time ago and playing 5-10 or something, and seeing the pot having 500$ in it and how hard I would try to win the pot. So I reallized that this guy is playing over his limit, and he is doing the same thing.

Trucked him.... He called off like 2500$ on the turn after his 1K bet I shove on with 34 on 2 4 5 Q board when I hold JJ (i bet flop he raises i flat i check shove turn he calls)

Another hand that probably set him off in the beginning was when I was handling his 3bets very poor, and I play this pot.

I open A8 to 60- he 3bets to 210 I flat

Flop K 9 2 rainbow,

He checks I check behind

Turn 9s puttign spades out

He leads 300ish and I flat

River is another 9

he open ships 1500$ and I call him down he shows 107 and I scoop.

This is probably the pot that cost him 20K realistically.

Another hand he played he opens to 60 I 3bet to 220 with AA he min reraises me (towards end of sitting so he is trying new things) I flat, flop J J 4 - I check he bets 380 (half pot button) I make it like 840 , really small raise and he ships for like 2k more and I call he tables 34o.

He just could not stay out of pots and keep himself from trying to pick up any significant pot. Needless to say his head was way fucked up for 10 20.

So literally after about 20 days of LITERALLY holding my account even playing and running bad I finally have some profits for the month. Just checking the ledger history was kinda sick because at the end of every day my account was within a 2500-3K area lol. So many of those days too I would get up and get stuck for 6-10K and it makes me sick that I am that dumb on a day to day basis.....

Gonna wrap up there I will post more often, as promised every time but never done :)

Monday, August 03, 2009

Okay, so I guess I should update: Just lost 10k

This will not be a surprise to any of you, but I am a complete moron.

Shocker!

Anyway, let's recap:


So, we were in vegas. Yes I know I've already mentioned that and yes I know there's no real trip report but don't blame me, blame dudu.

Moving on.

After coming back from that soulless desert land fill in Nevada, I decided to play normal poker. Aka multitable 6-8 table HU & 6max games on my little 17" laptop because my desktop is donk down. Weeeeeeeeee. It's fun. Not really.

Oh, right, I forgot to mention that somewhere during that first week I celebrated a bunch of birthdays, including my own and July 4th and so on and so on. It was fun. Many young ladies from foriegn countries gave me their phone numbers. They probably really really like my........US PASSPORT. The best part was that half of them can't afford to pay their cell phones or don't know how to... so a lot of good it did me...but we'll get to that in a minute. Dumb strippers.

So I played for the first week of july...starting somewhere around the 7th? Probably played terrible as that seems to be the only way I know how...but since I didn't whine here...I probably won.

Then somewhere mid july the wifi I was stealing from my neighbor started sucking so I decided to get my own. It took a while as the cable company is straight up retarded. So while they took their sweet time installing my new internet, I spent a week calling all my new found green card seeking friends. Hilarious debauchery ensued.

Now for the last few weeks of July I've locked myself in the house for non stop poker shenanigans. I've quit working out, eating, sleeping, kickboxing, and pretty much any life activity other than click click lose pot, click click, yell obscenity, click click slam table, click click you get the picture.

Yeah so apart from tilting like a spew tard monkey, I clocked like 50k in july. Probably shoulda done 70 but I suck and play waaaaay to long which causes me to tilt hardcore like a Neanderthal...and even though I know I have this problem...I still do it! More on this later...

So come August 1...I wake up 3am, because my sleep schedule is so out of balance right now.... so technically it's already Aug2 anyway...i end up playing an insane marathon session from 3am to 9pm. I was up 36? in like the first 5-6 hours...and then the total monkey spew comes because after 10hours of poker I begin to spazz out and so I drop 8? just playing like a complete idiot. So shut down all the cashaments and played a sunday donky.

Final tabled. Obviously mega tired. So with 6 left, I get it in w/ JJ vs KT and lose. Meh....woulda had lots of chippies and good chance to win. That obv makes me hate life and not wanna play anymore. So I just spew off so I can go sleep.

Sleep for 12 hrs and wake up today. Ahh the weather is nice, I'm going to take the day off. I'm tired. I hate poker. I deserve it, right? Wrong. I shower and run to check on the games, hoping that they aren't running and I can leave the house for the first time in forever. Nope. They are...and they are good. Of course I sit...and because I don't want to be there, I monkey spew. This happens every time I don't want to play...I don't know why I bother. Oh yeah, because there are like 4 donks on every 6max table.

Meh, so I drop 5-6 playing very dumb, then win it back playing hu. Even. Games die. Great, leave the house Jay. No. Must watch new episode of Rescue Me...which was quite good. Okay. Watched. Leave now. No, must check games. OMG Games are back and very good. Back to the grind. But I want to leave...so? So I spew off 10k playing some donk HU because I can't make a hand and I just wanna leave and spew spew spew. Call call call.

Then, when i finally win some pots, this dude quits the heads up to play 6max cause hes afraid to play deeper than 100bb while having 5 buyins on the tables. I hope someone hits him in the face with a crobar. I really do. In fact, if one of you wants to do this for me, I will dladly pay you $100.

So to recap: Instead of leaving the house and enjoying a nice sunny day outside, I stay home and donk tilt off 10k. FMYLIFE.


Random stuff:

Condomania sends me a daily e-mail offering a discount on their products, which will expire in 5 days. With every new e-mail they send, the expiration date keeps being pushed back further. Guess, they're dying for business. I blame 1. the economy, 2. that I haven't left my house in 2 weeks.

Okay okay, since you had to read through all that non-sense, I guess I owe you moochers a vegas story:

So Dudu and I are chilling in the venetian pool...just bullshitting about life and having a drink when all of a sudden, out of nowhre, dudu says something along the lines of...

"omg dude, i have to go...it's almost 6 o'clock! I have to meet moose and bullitpete at the rio!"

...in the tone of a 13 year old girl who was about to meet her favorite backstreet boy.

Holy mother of god, this fish is going to head over to the garbage dump known as the rio solely to meet bullitpete. I was speechless. I mean, this is pretty damn non- heterosexual.....even for dudu. Judging by how excited he was you'd think they just offered to buy him 10 lap dances at the rhino...

So we go back up to the room and dudu scurries around like a chicken without a head picking out clothes, fixing his hair...making himself look all pretty. It was like watching a fat girl get ready for the first date she's been waiting to go on her entire life.

I'll let you draw your own conclusions on how their meeting went. I did make dudu pay dearly for leaving his facebook logged in on my laptop...but I'll save that for another post.

I wrote this sporadically, so if this update was incoherent FU be thankful I even bothered. I love all my readers. All 3 of you.

Jay