The internet pokerz

Do you pricks see how much I love my readers? Count it, not one but TWO updates in one day!

So since I've talked about playing like a retard at teh live pokerz...here's some online retardation for you:

I'm so freaking tired I don't know why I decided to play instead of doing more favorable activities...like sleeping. Anyway, being tired my brain is barely working. This is what you get when you go to lift and do back for an hour, then go to a hardcore muay thai workout for two hours and polish it off by drinking till 8 am and challenging people to quarter flips. Welcome to my life.

Anyway, since my brain is done for, I just played like a passive fishbag, misplaying some hands and costing myself value. Oh wells.

Then I lost some flips and gout 3 outed. Oh wells.

Played 2 sort of interesting hands:

H1:

Villain: Random card runner subscriber - this is my new name for mediocre players who watch videos from mediocre instructors or never grasp concepts from the good ones yet still try to pull off deep moves without understanding them. What does this mean? They suck. On to the debauchery!

5handed
Effective 400ish
I open X,X in SB.
BB calls
7d9s2c
std cbet he pops me, yeah. this will work. I repop him. he tanks and calls.
Turn Kd
I ship about the pot +/- 10%
He insta calls and rolls over K5hh
Sure. Soul read. Qhigh no good.


H2:

HU
700ish effective

Random card runners subscriber open limps OTB
I check my option
KdTdAh
I check call his $4
Turn Jd
I check call another $12 holding a small diamond
River Qc
I check, he bets $40
I tank and make it $115 to go
He tanks and makes it $235 total
I tank and obv ship it in for $587 more
He snap calls with 5 high and we pay the rake

Soul read again! How can I suck so much? Is there no end to my sucking?

On the brighter side of things, the J1's are coming soon. For those of you who don't know, a J1 is a student work visa that many young foriegn ladies use to travel to the us for summer employment. Many of these ladies choose to make NYC their temporary home and it is here where they search for a financially secure gentleman who will make them his wife and thus help secure a green card and relief from potential deportation.

Most of these bimbos come from small poverty stricken cities in Europe and will do pretty much anything for even the vague illusion that someone may wed them to secure that almighty U.S. citizenship. And, coincidentally, I know just the sexual deviant to take full advantage of these desperate women!

Open the flood gates, I'm ordering another 100 piece sampler from condomania!


J