Wednesday, June 20, 2012

I've never seen a bigger idiot.

Did you know that calling someone "German" was the equivalent of a racial insult? Neither did I.

 There's this one German idiot (actually there's a whole country of them, but for the time being let's focus on one specific one) bumhunter who has got to be the dumbest 5k nl regular I have ever seen. Apparently calling him a German has caused him great distress. Such distress in fact that he deems it equivalent to telling me that he is happy that 9-11 happened and that he danced and celebrated when the towers fell. Retard, but okay whatever.

 His real problem with me as that I won't respect his "rule" of not "crashing" his Heads Up matches with fish on 9 handed tables. Except there is no such rule like that, nor would I ever make such an agreement with a shitty scrub bumhunter like him. But to him this is the ultimate wrong doing. Because we're all supposed to just sit in front of our computers for 18 hours per day waiting for the worst possible players to show up and never sit any other "regulars". Nevermind that it's 9 handed and there's a fish playing. This is the "rule" What is must be like in German fantasy land.

 Since I don't subscribe to pathetic bumhunter logic, he decides the only way to make me see his point of view is to grim me, hit n run me, sit in and out, spam the chatbox about how he's happy my family members died in 9-11...and so on. Because once again, in German fantasy land of bumhunting 20 sites this is the best way to get someone to do what you like.

 Or not.

 If you're a loyal reader of this blog, you already know there is no quit in me. And I comeback. In a day, in a week, in a month. I always return. Until I go broke. Yesterday he did the funniest thing. First he hit and ran me for ~$1500 and then he sat out and tried to have a conversation with me about how he wants to be friendly and how I should respect his heads up games. Amazing.

His reasons for not playing me? He doesn't trust Merge. Apparently they only pay him 10k per week to MB! Can you believe it? Just 10k a week. So that means he can only play fish and not regs because he's afraid to put more money on. Because money used to play regs is somehow different than money used to play fish. German logic at its finest. Sickening that US players wait 6 weeks for a 2500 check meanwhile this POS cries about 10k a week to MB.

 I cringe when I look around and see half wits like this sitting at the highest stakes, not giving anyone action. And that's pretty much 95% of the player pool at 25-50+.

You know what? I'm not a hater and I don't care about the success or failures of other people but this is one of those times where it's actually correct to root for him to go straight to broke. Wait a second, this scumbag has purposely done things just to annoy me without any possible benefit...in this case we can also root for someone to put a 2 into his spinal cord and make him a cripple for the rest of his life. Fair trade.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

LOLJUGALOL

What a degen.

While you were degenatarding with the scummy bumhunting regs (who I told you not to play might I add), I was chillin, sippin on a mojito and getting brain.

You know why?

CAUSE IM A BAWS DADDY

 I can't even feel bad, cause I FKN WARNED YOU. But I do have to say that you are my absolute fkn HERO for beating STINKY for 7k. This warms my heart. I'll have to do something nice for you. Maybe I'll hit n run one of the regs for 5k-10k in your honor.

I gotta say how pathetic it is that I leave for 1 day and no one has the stones to run the bumhunters out of town. Anyway we both know you're not quitting. You're not a quitter. Maybe a whiner, but I'm a whiner too. I just do it here, where no one reads it.

Hit me @ Fcukmoney@gmail.com w/ your skype info. I never check that address, so leave a comment when you ship the info and I'll check it.

 -J BOSS DADDY NYC

P.s. I hope you threw that TAG HEUER in a dumpster.


 P.p.s Oh and by the way, you still owe me 1k. You didn't think I forgot, did you? I plan to collect so have them crisp hundos ready.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

JUGGY

Bro, I gotta leave for a bit. I will be back in the evening. Probably. Lost 12k. Don't care. Don't play STINKY. J

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Same old song, same old dance.

Don't play poker for months.
Decide to play.
Get hit n ran for 30bb all day.
Get full ring idiocy going.
Get it in good everytime. Lose 5/6.
Be stuck 50k.
Not care.

Good thing I re-installed windows so HEM is on the other hard drive...else i'd be spamming my EV graphs all over this place.

Lifetime downer continues.

Saturday, March 03, 2012

Def Krantz

Lolz at Jay's PTR comments

Randomly spewing under new nick with 55% RB...ty knox

40+hrs of gtd moniez wkly now...what a gay life ppl live who have to 'work'

That is all.

Fuck you too. You know who you are, but I don't.

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Poker is for loser nerds.

I keep trying to go broke, but I can't get much action so I am degening by betting sports and playing limit holdem - which I am absolutely terrible at. But I run pretty f'n awful. Minbetaments, what a horrible game.

I'm due for an insane heater. Like godmode bink everything that moves status. Too bad cards have no memory. I am not sure why i'm writing this. Moose thinks he has fans. It's cute.

Dudu is an absolute tard. Nothing we didn't know. He's living in a condemned shack with some degenerate friend of his.

3up keeps telling me I am in bad headspace and I need a vacation. He's probably right.

I want to hurt someone bad for like 30-40k. Is that too much to ask? Maybe bust a roll or two, you know, like I used to do it in 2008. Maybe bust my own roll in the process.


TILTILTTILTITLTILTTITLTITLITLTITLTITLTITLTITLTITLTITLTITLTITTILTTILTTILT


FTP I would like a check in the mail. Thanks. Ivey and crew pay your debts you deadbeats.

Saturday, February 04, 2012

I want to go broke.

Really, I do.

Summary of todays events:

Morning time: Notorious fish Hit n Runner comes to play 25-50 EURoZ, wins 2 flips in 8 hands. Leaves.

Evening time: I suck so I play bad and lose. Nothing new. Scummy Euro who whined about being hit n run yesterday (by an even bigger idiot) in 6max games plays till he wins a 200bb pot off me to get even... then snap sits out. I say nothing. Guy keeps sitting there. I say nothing. Guy asks me to go play stakes half of what we were playing. WTF? jesus christ. Where do these people come from? GFYS. If you're gonna hit n run me, good for you. What are you sitting there for and asking me to play half lower for? I say no so he talks some shit. Then comes to my other table and asks to play lower again and talks more shit. Then he calls me an asshole. Yeah. I'm the asshole here. Okay fine, I'll be the asshole. Please fall down a fire escape and spend the rest of your life sucking apple juice through a straw. We'll call it even.

I want to go on record and say that I firmly believe that lure of easy money in poker has attracted the most gutless scummy piles of human feces that exist. I've touched on this before, but I will say it again: Poker is full of the bottom of society, people that get off in scratching other people's cars for no reason other than it makes them feel good to make someone else feel bad.

Don't get me wrong, I have met some genuinely great people in poker, some of them have become close friends of mine, guys I will probably be friends with for the rest of my life, but they are few and far between.

With that said, I don't know why I am playing. I really don't like money. I wish someone would come and bust my accounts - it's time I went broke and we closed up this blog.

FTP YOU CAN KEEP MY MONEY. And Ferguson, I hope you get an assortment of venereal diseases from the ladyboys in Thailand or where ever it is you are currently hiding.

Countdown to busto starts now.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Not playing merge was better than playing merge.




I don't know how they do it. I really don't. One kid flops a set or makes a flush every hand. Another proceeds to light me up check calling 77 on AKJJ and somehow plays nitball but rails every 3bet pot w Arag and Jrag. Then checks flushes to me on the river.

One day I will combine moose's graph with my own from Merge for shits and giggles. I expect to see an Ev dip of about half a mill.

Tata

FTP PAY ME

Saturday, January 28, 2012

I'm annoyed.

I played for like 18 hours straight only to be stuck 25k. Granted it's only 2.5 buyins and I monkey'd off like 40k anyway and played fairly poorly, I am still annoyed at how awful I ran.

It's just stupid. And these vermin don't give any action. I am going to start hit n running and grimign all the bumhunters and annoying regs just o make them as miserable as they make me.

It's 7:30am. I'm dead tired. I'd still play anyone right now cause I want to get even, but god damn these losers won't play. Everyone must have really great nosebleed games somewhere on the euros. I need more money on non us sites. Yeah. I said it.

Misery upon all the vile and disgusting creates that nest on the heads up tables.

J

P.s. It amuses me that only haters read this blog. It also amuses me they think I care about what they think or want. Yes, you reading this right now. I wouldn't spit on you to put out a fire. Well, maybe I would spit on you.

P.p.s FTP PAY ME

UPDATE: Decided 25k was a small loss so lost 80k instead. Going to sleep now. Also going to retire.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Hi FanBoys

2011--------> sucked balls.
2012--------> sucks less balls.

Ran the worst that anyone can run in the last 3 months of 2011. Not posting hands or graphs, but i was insanely below EV and it was never ending. The only thing that kept me going is that I cant run worse than Dudu has...no one can. I started online off well for 2012 and as for live...I played a 560$ borgata poker open. Day 1 I must of hit 4 sets and got paid on 3 of them, and had a kid stack off with QT on KKQ vs my AK. Went into day 2 in the top 10 in chips with 220 left. Hands leading to meltdown- I 3b squeeze QQ, kid folds, old guy folds and was mad. Next orbit old guy opens (he looks like Jack Hauffman from Gold Rush with sunglasses and a hat on) i 3 bet to 65k with AK (4-8k). He calls with about 230k behind (I'm about 530k deep), flop AK2, i bet 60k he calls, turn 2x, i ship he calls K2cc. GG moose. I almost snap at the guy but I just said nothing. I was one comment away from flipping a lid. Like 3 hands later i ship 20bbs into the guys raise with KQhh, he has AA and I brick a KT9 board. FML. I min cashed, sad. More updates to come. Dudu, Jay, and my Fanboys, I love you.

Side Note- Tourney paid 160k+ for first.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

New Years Poker Resolution

In 2012, I will finally become a bumhunter!

FTP PAY ME U SCUMBAGS

Monday, December 19, 2011

Friday, December 02, 2011

FU Decemeber, what a shitty month you are.

So I started the big D E C at a nice minus 15k.

F POKER

On the brightside, I think Moose had a winning day yesterday after not winning for 2 months. Why is it like this? Only one of us can win at the same time. Meanwhile we can both run awful for months on end.

New Poll. Vote for my misery.


Also amusing that the only people who visit here are the haters. I love you guys.

FTP PAY ME

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Poker

BAHAHAHAHA

Won a 14k coin flip. Finished session 5k below ev.

How does this happen?


Also I seem to have made a new friend. There's a railbird that likes to run around the mid high stakes games and tell people how good they're running. That is his entire MO. He just joins tables and if he sees anyone winning, he starts spamming the chat about how hot they're running and what fish they are and how they're going busto as soon as the heater ends. He's taken a particularly liking to me (obv because of how hot I run...that's sarcasm for those of you who are slow) and taunts me every chance he gets. It's awesome. I feel like he is my #1 fan. I am definitely his number 1 fan. He amuses me like no other. Too bad I can't tell him because I have a chat ban. Bahahahaha. Poker.


FTP PAY ME

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Gobble Gobble Fucksticks

I win the poll, but what do I win?

Busted 3x, surprised?...thank god they're accepting credit again. One day Moose, one day.

I'm drooling, and a ghost in my house doesn't like NWA's 'Fuck The Police.' Please refrain from throwing my phone again unless you actually hit me; I thought we got a long mr ghost.

Sunday, November 06, 2011

More Graphs, more whining



I think this is like 35-40k hands at 5-10, rest at 3-6, 10-20, 25-50.

It seems hands cannot hold at all. My play has deteriorated to open tables, go straight to massive tilt.

Why did I come back to poker?

FTP PAY ME

Friday, October 21, 2011

Having a nice month.



A session from today. 4 tabling 2 clown regs at 5-10, 2 tables each simultaneously. How do I run better? Anyone? Anyone???????

FTP PAY ME

Sunday, October 16, 2011

This is a nice welcome back to poker.


How terrible this guy is, I cannot even begin to describe. Keep in mind, this is mostly (95%ish) at 5-10, with a little at 10-20.

The funny thing is, that doesn't even tell the whole story. The coolers, the insanity, the folding preflop every time I have any tier 1 hand. I am in some absurd twilight zone that is cruel and vengeful. I will probably have to sacrifice a virgin soon. Hope dudu isn't doing anything Wednesday night.

FTP PAY ME

Friday, October 07, 2011

So I tinkered with the blog a bit...

A poll, a search option, our e-mail, and some banners. Wee?

So i haven't blogged for so long I don't even know where to begin. Or if I should even bother. Or what my purpose in life is anymore...

I guess the first thing I should do is recap from black friday till now. I'll try keep this short and colorful since no one likes to read a long boring blog about some guy in ny that likes to play poker once in a while. Why the hell do you even visit here? Yeah, I'm talking to you. The guy reading this right now. If you're a girl, send your pic. E-mail address is to the right.

Anyway,

It was ultimately decided that I ought to enjoy the NY summer before making any rash country moving, decisions. FTP owes me a lot of money.

Summer came and went, and I didn't even notice. I didn't even get a tan. 3up and I considered moving to mexico or canada (not so much) or Europe...but ultimately, as per our usual, no one did anything. Dudu was MIA trying to become a "live grinder" (plz ask him all about this, insert teehee emoticon). Moose is attached at the hip so his black friday response was to go fly his plane around a little more often. How I wish we could trade lives.

No one cares about phreezenet, vox or depeche so this is the only mention they will get.

September was eventfull. I went on a legendary (even for me) tear of debauchery and grotesque behavior. No fist fights by hospitals this year, however. I'm also lifting regularly and eating well. And I hope to resume training some form of martial art soon. Whether this actually happens, I think 3up is taking bets.

Poker wise, I have hardly played at all. But I'm sure you all knew that. I pursued an interesting, non poker related endeavour that ended fruitlessly...so it looks like it's back to getting hit n ran by fish and sitting around all day waiting for action. I'm pretty rusty and don't really know how to play poker anymore...so maybe I can do the hit n running for a change. No, I'm not broke.

But 3up is. In fact, I think he's gone broke like 4 times in the last 2 months. How this kid wins at poker, I will never understand.

Dudu has recently come to his senses. After getting ganked by UB (tard) and then trying to become a live pro (tard) he's back to grinding random shit like sit n gos (tard). I don't even know. The kid is abnormal. He's beyond any help that I can provide as he just completely ignores any positive advice I offer.

Moose has been running so mega bad terrible (even worse than me) this year, that I think he's completely fed up. I think he just flys around New Jersey all day now looking for excuses not to crash his plane into Howard Lederer's house. He's been on a serious MIA.

I almost forgot. Kotton. I have absolutely no idea what this kid is doing.

Oh, GirahGate:

I'm sure most of you have read my summary on 4. Funny thing is, I wasn't even going to make any post about the situation...but then when I saw the information that was presented before my post, I knew I couldn't let shit stand like that. Dog was was trying to manipulate these kids to cover his shady actions and it was obvious (at least to me)...shit was not going to go down like that. Glad it worked out on a positive note.

Moose and I long suspected that Girah cheated in the challenge anyway. Impossible to get that kind of action in such a coincidental manner.

I'd write up a long AEJones book like post on the entire situation, but I think everything relevant has already been said.

Also, holla 1 time for beating people who can see my hole cards?

Some of those hands were amusing. Maybe I'll post them here at some point.

So. What now?

Pokerwise...who knows? VPNs, shedding the rust and bangin with regs for a dollar.

Lifewise...I think I may want to buy a new car.

FTP PAY ME

J

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

For everyone who's been asking about cake skin that pays.

I added a banner to the right with all the other banners. Go sign up for intertops and play and earn me money. 33% Rakeback. Now stop E-mailing and skyping me.

For people who don't care about playing poker but only come here to read the drivel I write. I have been extremely life busy. I have not played much poker. I promise to make a real update or a series of updates sometime soon. Maybe even before 2012.

FTP PAY ME.