I continue to play absolutely terrible and run just as bad.

So I flirted with a -5500 day to only sadly finish at -3k. Yes. I have 3x as many losing days as winning days now.

Okay. First of all...I play horrible and by horrible I mean terrible and by terrible I mean if you take a legally retarded midget and sit him at the poker table, I'm relatively sure he will play better than I can.

Today was a very special day. I shoved into either the nuts or the near nuts 3x. To the same person. In the same position. As many hands as I've played over the years, this is a new one even for me.

Let's start with shoving a flush draw on the turn drawing stone cold dead cause dood turns a super disguised fullhouse out of the bb. Oh did I mention it was like a 450bb pot? Yeah.

Then same dude calls from bb, we see a flop of 666. No, I don't believe in satan or hell so it's not an omen you bible nazis. Anyway, he manages to play his 6 like a donk. And what do I do vs donks? I try to push them off quads with A high. Yay.

Same dood again! OPening AA UTG, our friend calls out of bb...we see 366 2 clubs. I shove for value..what does he show? 36.

It's nice to play bad and run good. I used to do that. Now I just play bad and run bad. And whine here. Sniff.

A bunch of tards, not one, not two, not three, but 4 or 5 have been randomly overbet shoving into tiny pots for stacks. Of course, on some kind random board with 2 herts (sorry, I don't remember a random board would be Q84)the turn pairs the board and puts a heart, and river bring 9h and gives me the nut flush. I check and donk shoves. He's done it like 4x now. How can I fold? Ship him a huge pot cause he made 9's full.

I don't know. Maybe I ought to wait for qauds.

Bunch of donks have been playing me HU 5-10 limping pots. One guy loves to just ship ti in for like 900 into 30. pick up a small pot and leave. He's done it 3x now. I flopped a Q high flush he calls 2 streets, riv brings 4 flush, i vtown he pops me I fold. He scoops 300$ and leaves. I think I'm down like 2k to this kind of strategy. I wonder if they have a team that's been put together specifically to annoy me?

I think this was the same dude who I flopped set of dueces on yesterday only to bet 2 streets and have him lead shove runner runner straight.

Here's a cute hand: So I'm playing one of the worst players ever. Not like this year, but everrrrrrrr. I mean, you can't be any worse than this guy, if you don't count me that is. This dude just weak loose, 90% of his buttons and calling raises most of the time. Never 3bets, rarely raises, rarely bluffs. Anyway he has like no chance but it's a grind to play him. small pots etc. Whatever. I'm grinding him down slowly waiting till he check calls 3 streets with top pair so I can get there with overs or something. I dunno. We keep playing back and forth. He sucks. Then this:

I open btn and flop Khigh flush on like QT8 or something zany like that. COuld have been QT9. Anyway, all spades. ROAR. he checks, I cbet, he raises me! Wait. What? He has either the str8 or the nutflush or a baby flush or 2pr or QUADS!! QUADS BABY!! Sigh. So i'm either way ahead or way behind. Like a total donk, I just call. I don't know I've played like 10 hours straight, leave me alone. I suck. So yeah I called. turn comes off suite A. He pots me, oh baby I need to ship it in like now. What do I do? I call. River brings off suite Q. NICE GOING JAY, you tard. He of course ships his last 500 in and I don't even need to timebank. I'm so beat here but I need to justify writing this blog so I throw the 500 in and he shows me AQ.

I know what you're thinking...and you know what? FU. I should have probabyl folded but I'd never forgive myself if he was shipping the str8 or the baby flush or even QJ, and he was bad enough to do that. I think. I don't even know anymore.

Whatever. It wouldn't have mattered if I shipped it on the turn anyway, he wasn't going anywhere. The only difference would be this blog title would be "I get 5 outed for 2200 on the turn. Again" instead of whatever it says now.

Couple other amusing (not really) hands:

I go to raise some donk limp w K7dd and make it 218 instead of 18. BB wakes up with AKcc and ships it. I get like 4:1 on my money but brick my 3 outer after flopping and turning every single draw possible. Variance, you tease!

Vs a a donk ratholing shortstacker who built up a 100+ bb stack: We end up playing hu cause every1 else sititng out or bust0eddd. Anyway. he's been min 3betting me like 1/3 hands and its annoying. WHo dat? Who dattt? Jay? Jay a nit? Jay's a nit? I 4bet 35o. He calls. Obv. What else is new? at least the flop comes sexy right? 24x, x being maybe a Q or an 8...nothing insane. HE CHECKS! What? Okay, i fire pot, he ships it in! Oops. Obv I call off getting better than 3:1 hoping that I'm up against kings queens jacks tens a set of 4's...whatever...anything but aces. What does he show? Acezzzzz baby.

Yeah. I'm just a tad bit annoyed. Poker can go to hell!

What we at now? -28 to 30k on the year? Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Anyone want to start a Feed Jay fund? Your donations are greatly appreciated.

Oh, wait. Something funny happened too and I guess I owe you the 4 readers we have some comedy for reading all my whining:

One of those all in over shove fish likes me. Who knows why? People are attracted to me. They either want to be my best friend or beat me up. Or have me sleep with their wife. But anyway so this fish starts talking to me and then asks me to call him. Okay. I guess he really does love me. And I am not one to pass up some hot and kinky phone sex with some tard I met playing online poker. So I call him to see what he wants.

Now, this dude is either straight up retarded or insanely drunk. He's slurring his words, and muffling his speech...but he keeps saying something about cleaning ass. And I can't understand what he wants for the life of me, except I think he wants to clean my ass or their ass or someones ass...and then it hits me...he wanted to clean them out...by them he meant the 4 other people playing with us...but he keeps saying clean their ass which was actually pretty funny but I was too busy multitabling to pursue it futher. ANyway, dude asks me to help "clean their ass"...i giggle...and tell him that I don't collude and he'll have to clean their ass all by himself. Conversation ends.

And here I thought someone wanted to make phone love to me...all he wanted to do was cheat.

Jay not happy. Jay need run better. LET ME STACK SOMEONE FOR CHRIST SAKE. I WANT TO COOLER SOMEONE. And by someone I mean like TEN PEOPLE. ONE TIME! I mean TEN TIMES. Set over set and give me the bigger friggin set this time!



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