Something has to change.

Okay.

I've had enough. I am sick of myself and I am sick of going on idiotic tilt 3 times a month and cutting my monthly profits in half. Every year I throw away 150k doing this.

Last night I played worse than I have all year or maybe ever. It was so bad, it was almost unbelievable. I literally got smashed in the face with the deck and managed to LOSE 30K!!!!!

HOW DO I DO THAT?!

And it all boils down to the same thing I have always said not to do that I keep doing.

1. Playing when extremely tired/falling asleep.
2. Playing insanely long sessions.
3. Playing on tilt.
4. Not having a stop loss.
5. Not being able to walk away with a losing session.

I can't do this anymore. I either need to change this or I need to quit poker.

I am very serious. How long can I continue to be self destructive and turn hard work and grueling hours of grinding into misery because I am stuck 3 buyins and don't want to book a losing session? Sure there are times when I pull it together and get it back, but there are times that the wheels fall off completely and I end up spewing for no reason.

Sometimes my brain just turns off.

So here we are and this is that crucial point people have in their careers: I will either over come this flaw or I will quit.

1. I will NOT play when I am tired or not feeling it. I don't care who's playing. I don't care if the biggest fish in the world is playing 5 buy ins deep. If I don't want to play, if I am tired, if I am on tilt, I WILL NOT PLAY. The end. Absolutely no questions. No desire = no game.

1a. There is a good chance, considering I hate poker, I will never again want to play...or not want to play often enough...in this case, I will designate X hours, when I am feeling good and thinking clearly to play.

2. I will quit whenever I feel like I am going to tilt. if I do not recover in 20 minutes or less, I will walk away. No questions asked. If I do not walk away when I am tilting, I will send Dudu $100 for every hour I play on tilt.

3. I am designating a 4 buyin stop loss for any game 5-10+ and a 5 buyin stop loss for any game 3-6 and below.

4. I will not play more than 6 hours a day.

4a. If I am focused and calm, I may play 8 hours.

5. I will try to play shorter sessions. Ideally, I will break the sessions down into either 3 2 hour sessions or 2 3 hour sessions.

6. I will invoke SOME game selection. Instead of playing tough or semi tough opponents when there is no action, I will spend as much time as I can stomach reviewing my play and studying the game away from the tables.

7. I will try to play at least 30 minutes a day of PLO.

8. I will balance out my life by returning to both weight training and kick boxing. Poker will not interfere with either of these activities.

9. I will not alienate my friends during hardcore poker binges - which will be coming to a stop.

10. I will not be a complete retard tilting moron.


If this list is not completed and this tilt issue is not COMPLETELY fixed by WSOP time...If I still go on crazy sick spew sessions...it will be my last WSOP and I will quit poker.

I spend way too many hours and way too much time playing to just tilt my profits away. If I can't do this, I'll...I don't know...go write brothel reviews or something.

I may take the next few weeks off, I don't know.

Whatever the case is...I am very unhappy with myself. Here's hoping that I am not as dumb as I think I am and can overcome this.

Good luck me.

J