Day 3 (of 11) of Aussie Punishment, Sick Slide Graph, Very Little Bitching?

First off this is my graph of headsup play since about November.... November, December, they went well, I was up about 55k? Running neutral EV.... (incase you dont understand these graphs, the thick green line is profit, the thin one is my "expected value" (expected all in value) So this is where I should be... Now I admit, I could cut down some of the losses from tilt.... I do tilt bad sometimes. But it is just the sickest thing ever. The downslide started about 12-13k hands ago, and I lose 100K????? Running over 50k below EV???? Tilting a bunch off because it is happening so fucking quickly????? WTF!!!!!

So my PDC roll is a little lighter now and it sucks....

I have been grinding slowly at FTP and PS, and almost decided to quit, I have an "hourly" of over 110$ an hour at 1-2 on both sites but you can't do that all day long. I have 16-20 tables loaded and it just wears you out, I play an hour then I quit. I go dick off on PS3 or something else for a couple hours and then decide I still am not looking forward to playing again so I don't. If I ever feel the need to make 1k a week for the rest of my life, I know where I will do it. But I have bigger ambitions of course, as I promised to make 350k this year but I am starting about 110k in the hole so this is going to be difficult now. I have faith though, luckbox a tourney and I am gold.

So I decided for punishment for the way I treated the trip to the Aussie Millions I would play all 11 of the Oklahoma State Championships of Poker events.

Day 1 was PLO, I cashed (kinda fluked, 131 entrants, 14 pay, we were round for round and I busted 15th but someone busted behind me so we chopped 14th... profit of 15$ off my 340$) (total play, 11 hours) (+2 hours on cash before the tourney, lost 1300$ playing 2-5)

Day 2, NLH 100k guaranteed. This event drew over 800 players somehow, I finished 20th for 1600$ profit of 1300$, sigh... time played, 15 hours

Day 3, just got home, was Limit O8, 92 entries, 10 pay, I get 10th.... lost a couple pots late, somehow cashed.... Had one big blind when we sat down with 10 left... time played 12 hours

Tomorrow, PLO8

All buyins are 340$

So why is this punishment? Well because other than the 800 player NLH I dont think a single tourney will pay over 20k to winner. As if I am going to win one, but hey atleast I have cashed all 3, kinda.

I am doing it as kind of "training" to be able to play long hours day in and day out live, and not have the luxury of my PS3 or cable tv or couch to nap or go eat when I want to etc etc. I have treated every live poker trip I have ever made very poorly, and I am starting to reallize how much money I have pissed away doing that. It is terrible the way I go on trips for poker, I go get super drunk play table games, give money away playing poker, strip clubs etc etc, and I am finally realizing how important it is to treat poker more like a "business" and not a hobby considering I dropped out of school to play poker and this has been my source of income for 5 years in May and I want it to be my source of income for atleast 5-10 more years.

Live poker typically is a vacation for me, even if it is close to home, it is a chance to get out of the house socialize with people who have the same ambitions (of being a degenerate gambler as such I guess) and obviously typically get hammered drunk.

I have not had anything to drink other than a couple redbull and vodkas (despite the fact I hate them) to keep me awake the first day since I was coming off my fucked up sleep schedule.

So 8 more days, it is a grind, I won't make much money unless I get top 3 in the main event they have which is a 3k buyin.

The reason I probably decided to punish myself, they are giving 5k to whoever accumulates the most points during the series of events, and I am going to win it.... Though I was told tonight how they are "supposedly" keeping the points, and it is fucked, but I will still win I think thanks to the deep run in the 800 player field. Basically you get 1 point for entering the tourney, and 1 point more for every place "inside the money" you get. So the 800 player field payed 72 places, winner gets 73 points, I got 53 points, so catching him is very doable if I get top 3 in a couple of the small fields. Since I don't think any other tourney is paying more than 20 spots, it could actually backfire, hopefully not though, I have cashed all 3 so I am playing well for the most part. Another incentive, you get a RING!!!!!!!! Which I can wear when I am wearing my HPT Jacket!!!!!!! Or just put the ring in the pocket of the HPT Jacket and hang it deep in my closet.

Ummmm other than that, nothing else to say.... Hopefully I don't snap before this ends, and hopefully I gain some valuable attributes to help myself when I go to play poker out of town. Turning away cocktails for water is so tough to do but getting easier for me.... I am such a lush....