BOOM HEADSHOT

So after months of nagging from my good friend Uncle Jay and an unofficial blog banning I am finally here to introduce myself.

My name is Phreezenet and I have a gambling problem.

Yes, you read correctly. I sit at home exchanging insane amounts of $$$ with a slew of random degenerate gamblers in a game of skill(?) that is known as poker. Oh you've played that game before? I'm going to throw out a wild guess and just assume that you know as much about poker as I do about women. What? You think I have time to coattail the opposite sex when I can fire up the PokerStars.net software and shoot off to the latest Raven Riley romping while I play with world champions at the same time? NiceHand PHREEZENET. Well played.
Now back to what I was saying. You don't know poker unless you are a member of the elite few that sit at home mindlessly tilting away thousands of dollars playing online while simultaneously leveling your WoW character. LEEEEEEEEEEROYYYYYY JENKINS. If by chance you fall into any of the categories mentioned above please consider suicide for society's benefit. I know I have.

So why do I play poker? I play poker for money and I fcuking hate it, both the poker and the money. But mostly the money...and I love that! I lose and I break things and immediately feel great about myself. Or on the off chance that I do win I go to sleep that night and dream about waking up in the morning to immediately boot up and tilt away todays profit.

Hating money does have its advantages. I can now proudly walk up to a group of my college friends and boast "Hey I was up 30k this month and ended even, how are those 28k a yeak job offers coming along?"
Now please don't succumb to all of this banter and actually believe that I make $$$ donkeying around in online poker, it's all rigged and I'm just luckboxing it until Lee decides to throw the killswitch. But even with that, Poker has brought upon some positive experiences in the past 6 months - a 6 figure winner to date and a lucksack satelite into the WPT PCA in the Bahamas. But I'll have to get back to you with the month late PCA post at another time, I'm tired and Friday means a new bangbros video has been posted.

:RideTillyouDie