I will never update again.

I pretty hate all of you.

We got lazy

Yes... and I am still lazy.... we has a shitty blog....


Im all loopy on benadryl and spewing, hoorah!

I tried to quit smoking and tried the "electronic cigarette" and I am smoking again.

Ummm thats all I feel like typing. Maybe one day I will updaste.

I had a LONG update

and it got deleted, I came home drunk from the titty bar last nigth with a couple good stories, put them in here, was goign to put some HHs in from the past week, didn't get it done, added some stuff today when I woke up, clicked post and it told me to log in, then it deleted my shit....

fuck

will get one some time in the next few days, it was a good update too!

THE BET

Since I have turned into a fat lazy fuck with no motivation. I needed someone or something to get me off my couch. JayNYC was more than happy to oblige. To those who do not known me I have gained 50 lbs. in the past 3 years. So now the gloves have come off. After much negotiation me and Jay have agreed to a Matusow. (Matusow was a fat fuck who won a nice weight loss bet.)
The terms:
Current Weight of my fat ass 232 lb.
Time Period 6 mos.
Weight Loss 35 lbs.
Stakes $500
Now Jay calls me fat boy, chubs and donut muncher, we will see what he will be saying in 6 months. Jay has said that he has already spent the $500.
I am so confident of my winning this bet that I am willing to entertain a further $500 in action.
Just come say hi to me on PDC or Carbon.
depeche212

Oddddd Sunday.....

Well.... I dont know what to say about today, it was the worst/best even day ever.

First I wake up, find my buddy from Israel and play him 10-20

I give him 10k

3 hands.

First I call a 3bet with K8 cause he is 3betting light/often

flop Ad 10s 3c

he checks I fire 280$ into 440$

He flats

Turn 6s

he checks I check behind to pull at my spade one time.

River 9s

He open ships just over the pot and I call he turns As7s over... Yay nut v 2nd nut.

Slightly tilty.

Ok now he gets tricky at THE PERFECT TIME

I have been 3betting a lot, trying to get that back. I have about 2500 he has me covered with 4kish

he opens to 60 I 3bet to 220 and he flats as usual.

I have AQ by the way

flop As 3c 6d

I bet 320 he raises to 800-900 and I ship it in expecting to see AJ A10 and if he has A3 A6 give it to him.

NOOO AK he doesn't 4bet me with AK for the first time in his life.... not really a bad beat just sick that he gets disguised so well when he is barely competent.

Oh and between those 2 hands I get in pre with QQ v JJ and he spikes a set and cracks me.

And the last hand of mention, I have a stack of about 3k vs his 9kish.

KK for me he opens I 3bet standard he flats.

flop Jc 9d 7c

I bet 320 he flats

Turn 9h I lead 800 he just clicks most of his stack and puts me in.

Ok ok ok, yea I can let my hand go sometimes but NEVER vs him when I am tilted and he is not, he does this with J2 sooted here, and even 88 maybe A7, he moves me in so light when I am tilted.

77 he has though... oh well..

I got a double up back from him a couple times just to tilt it back to him or take a beat and stack off, frustrating session.


OK So I start the day off stuck 10kish.

So my only chance to get even, the 50K which I won and got even... Pretty piss poor, because I have played the 50K 3 times previous to this, never playing it because of hockey games conflicting, I skipped games today to play.

So at first skipping games and being stuck 10K was a pain in the ass and I regretted it. But the 50K is SOOO AWESOME. It is the weakest 100$+ buyin tourney I have ever played.

No hands to bring up, except I busted KK with AJ with like 13 left and got reamed by some tool who thinks I was 100% shoving for value, not that those are his words "your favorite hand is AJ" is more like his words... jackass.... He was opening a lot and I squeeze get lucky lah tee dah.

Then I was short on the final and I ship A7o get called by a fellow from Israel who held the chip lead by 108s (he was BB) and he flops an 8 and I turn a miracle Ace... Yay


So I am in the midst of trying to build a roll outside of PDC and PS and FT where I am starting, just 20 buyins on .50 1.00 all I am allowing myself to use.

It is boring and tough to play the stakes but kind of fun to be able to like 20 table again. So I will kinda keep post of that progress, right now its going "ok" I lost half of my PS 2k in like the first 2 hours playing 6max and FR (hu games were just annoying to me on there, dont think I am going to mess with them) but I have almost got that back in a few sessions afterwards.

G'day

OKKKKK I will post

Ok soooo idk where I am at.... I dont know where I left off..


So I have been running cold vs Israelis, up until a couple days ago. I have been playing poorly too, up until a couple days ago.

So last month recap in a shell.

I moved again, got an apartment, idk why I got an apartment I can't even have my fking grill here there is a community grill at the pool but fuck that. It is a nice apartment though, most expensive ones in Tulsa unless I wanted to live downtown, and I for damn sure don't wanna live downtown.

So I got here and realized I had a shitty poker setup, every time I move I have a shitty setup and have to go out and buy things to make my playing time more comfortable so I bought an L desk so I can prop my feet up, and I bought a nice office chair, setup was just under 2,000$ but it has more than paid for itself thus far.

I am buying a new truck at the end of this month or early to middle part of next month. I have been driving the same truck I have had since I was 17 (i am 23) I have put like 150K miles on it, (it has 275K on it now) and I have had lots of good times, and bad times in the truck. It will be sad when I let it go, but I am so uncomfortable showing women my truck because it is undoubtedly disgusting. Cigarette burns in shapes of smiley faces from friends, bbq sauce stains, blood stains, hockey gear smell. It is just bad, but I love the truck so much, never has broken down on me never given me a problem. I will cry the day I turn it over to someone else, maybe I will just keep it parked for keepsake idk, its not worth a whole hell of a lot. 98 F-150 Lariat EXT Cab. Going to buy a brand new one though. Probably would have sooner if I was not afraid of the IRS but I guess I will start paying taxes too and make it ok.

Hockey has been taking my blog time, this is my excuse, I play on 5 teams, almost each night of the week, and I miss the sunday tourneys every week because of hockey too. And the 50K on Carbon is hands down the best 100$ buyin (well if you are not AJKHoosier or Shaun Deeb) the best all around tourney on the web that americans can play. So I need to get in it more often.

Poker poker poker, I was running bad and playing bad, way too aggressive which I have tamed down.

I just rolled a nice fellow for 20K at 10-20 - not an israeli like I would prefer.

But this started as such.

I get up and check games, see a fish playing an "ok" 2-4 player HU on 10 20 6max. So I naturally sit.

Reg says "HU"

I say "if you had ever played me willingly I would let you"

Reg says "lol I will play you right now"

I say "10 20?"

Reg says "obv"

I say "ok"

Reg says "i have a table come sit"

I say "thats another 6max table, I have a HU table come"

Reg says "lol ok i see how you are"

about 5 minutes goes by of him not joining, his last comment was calling me out to be a pussy I guess....

Reg shows up, he is 3betting insanely often, and very very aggressive and I am not handling it well, I have 4bet him prob 4-5 times and been shoved on every time and I back down, I am stuck about 3k to him at most.

Then I steam roll. We play a couple big pots where I flop a set and he ends up shoving me in for 3k on river (9k pot) with a garb hand.

So after a few bigger pots, I go outside for a cigarette. And while I am sitting there I think to myself about times I jumped up high to play and how I played. I remember having 2k in my accounts at times a long time ago and playing 5-10 or something, and seeing the pot having 500$ in it and how hard I would try to win the pot. So I reallized that this guy is playing over his limit, and he is doing the same thing.

Trucked him.... He called off like 2500$ on the turn after his 1K bet I shove on with 34 on 2 4 5 Q board when I hold JJ (i bet flop he raises i flat i check shove turn he calls)

Another hand that probably set him off in the beginning was when I was handling his 3bets very poor, and I play this pot.

I open A8 to 60- he 3bets to 210 I flat

Flop K 9 2 rainbow,

He checks I check behind

Turn 9s puttign spades out

He leads 300ish and I flat

River is another 9

he open ships 1500$ and I call him down he shows 107 and I scoop.

This is probably the pot that cost him 20K realistically.

Another hand he played he opens to 60 I 3bet to 220 with AA he min reraises me (towards end of sitting so he is trying new things) I flat, flop J J 4 - I check he bets 380 (half pot button) I make it like 840 , really small raise and he ships for like 2k more and I call he tables 34o.

He just could not stay out of pots and keep himself from trying to pick up any significant pot. Needless to say his head was way fucked up for 10 20.

So literally after about 20 days of LITERALLY holding my account even playing and running bad I finally have some profits for the month. Just checking the ledger history was kinda sick because at the end of every day my account was within a 2500-3K area lol. So many of those days too I would get up and get stuck for 6-10K and it makes me sick that I am that dumb on a day to day basis.....

Gonna wrap up there I will post more often, as promised every time but never done :)

Okay, so I guess I should update: Just lost 10k

This will not be a surprise to any of you, but I am a complete moron.

Shocker!

Anyway, let's recap:


So, we were in vegas. Yes I know I've already mentioned that and yes I know there's no real trip report but don't blame me, blame dudu.

Moving on.

After coming back from that soulless desert land fill in Nevada, I decided to play normal poker. Aka multitable 6-8 table HU & 6max games on my little 17" laptop because my desktop is donk down. Weeeeeeeeee. It's fun. Not really.

Oh, right, I forgot to mention that somewhere during that first week I celebrated a bunch of birthdays, including my own and July 4th and so on and so on. It was fun. Many young ladies from foriegn countries gave me their phone numbers. They probably really really like my........US PASSPORT. The best part was that half of them can't afford to pay their cell phones or don't know how to... so a lot of good it did me...but we'll get to that in a minute. Dumb strippers.

So I played for the first week of july...starting somewhere around the 7th? Probably played terrible as that seems to be the only way I know how...but since I didn't whine here...I probably won.

Then somewhere mid july the wifi I was stealing from my neighbor started sucking so I decided to get my own. It took a while as the cable company is straight up retarded. So while they took their sweet time installing my new internet, I spent a week calling all my new found green card seeking friends. Hilarious debauchery ensued.

Now for the last few weeks of July I've locked myself in the house for non stop poker shenanigans. I've quit working out, eating, sleeping, kickboxing, and pretty much any life activity other than click click lose pot, click click, yell obscenity, click click slam table, click click you get the picture.

Yeah so apart from tilting like a spew tard monkey, I clocked like 50k in july. Probably shoulda done 70 but I suck and play waaaaay to long which causes me to tilt hardcore like a Neanderthal...and even though I know I have this problem...I still do it! More on this later...

So come August 1...I wake up 3am, because my sleep schedule is so out of balance right now.... so technically it's already Aug2 anyway...i end up playing an insane marathon session from 3am to 9pm. I was up 36? in like the first 5-6 hours...and then the total monkey spew comes because after 10hours of poker I begin to spazz out and so I drop 8? just playing like a complete idiot. So shut down all the cashaments and played a sunday donky.

Final tabled. Obviously mega tired. So with 6 left, I get it in w/ JJ vs KT and lose. Meh....woulda had lots of chippies and good chance to win. That obv makes me hate life and not wanna play anymore. So I just spew off so I can go sleep.

Sleep for 12 hrs and wake up today. Ahh the weather is nice, I'm going to take the day off. I'm tired. I hate poker. I deserve it, right? Wrong. I shower and run to check on the games, hoping that they aren't running and I can leave the house for the first time in forever. Nope. They are...and they are good. Of course I sit...and because I don't want to be there, I monkey spew. This happens every time I don't want to play...I don't know why I bother. Oh yeah, because there are like 4 donks on every 6max table.

Meh, so I drop 5-6 playing very dumb, then win it back playing hu. Even. Games die. Great, leave the house Jay. No. Must watch new episode of Rescue Me...which was quite good. Okay. Watched. Leave now. No, must check games. OMG Games are back and very good. Back to the grind. But I want to leave...so? So I spew off 10k playing some donk HU because I can't make a hand and I just wanna leave and spew spew spew. Call call call.

Then, when i finally win some pots, this dude quits the heads up to play 6max cause hes afraid to play deeper than 100bb while having 5 buyins on the tables. I hope someone hits him in the face with a crobar. I really do. In fact, if one of you wants to do this for me, I will dladly pay you $100.

So to recap: Instead of leaving the house and enjoying a nice sunny day outside, I stay home and donk tilt off 10k. FMYLIFE.


Random stuff:

Condomania sends me a daily e-mail offering a discount on their products, which will expire in 5 days. With every new e-mail they send, the expiration date keeps being pushed back further. Guess, they're dying for business. I blame 1. the economy, 2. that I haven't left my house in 2 weeks.

Okay okay, since you had to read through all that non-sense, I guess I owe you moochers a vegas story:

So Dudu and I are chilling in the venetian pool...just bullshitting about life and having a drink when all of a sudden, out of nowhre, dudu says something along the lines of...

"omg dude, i have to go...it's almost 6 o'clock! I have to meet moose and bullitpete at the rio!"

...in the tone of a 13 year old girl who was about to meet her favorite backstreet boy.

Holy mother of god, this fish is going to head over to the garbage dump known as the rio solely to meet bullitpete. I was speechless. I mean, this is pretty damn non- heterosexual.....even for dudu. Judging by how excited he was you'd think they just offered to buy him 10 lap dances at the rhino...

So we go back up to the room and dudu scurries around like a chicken without a head picking out clothes, fixing his hair...making himself look all pretty. It was like watching a fat girl get ready for the first date she's been waiting to go on her entire life.

I'll let you draw your own conclusions on how their meeting went. I did make dudu pay dearly for leaving his facebook logged in on my laptop...but I'll save that for another post.

I wrote this sporadically, so if this update was incoherent FU be thankful I even bothered. I love all my readers. All 3 of you.

Jay

Long over due

Yea yea long time no update. My bad


So it has been about 20 days roughly. Ill try to get it all in here.

I went on a 30+ BI swing at 5-10, my sickest swing ever, I ran so so bad.

A few hands from this run would include.

Twice having top set vs quads (A99 board vs 99) JQ6 board v 66 (yea not top set but fk it close enough)

3 Betting an israeli HU with 84 spades flop 5s6s7d and I am vs 89 and I brick a spade.

Losing like 03498573234 races in a row.

Playing poorly.

Ummm I remember flopping top 2 with AQ vs same Israeli gentleman vs his A5 (1 pair) and he backdoored 5s on me.


Okie so was officially like a 36 BI slide at its peak. 36K in like 5 days, it was absurd.


SINCE those 5 days I have ran ok, I have made about 18 of those BIs back and the Israeli who was sucking out on me and coolering me has cooled off himself. I am going to bust him. I have his game down so well now. Except for how to hit more of the flops thast he 3bets me pre on. I won literally every race on him today and he tried to bluff me off a couple hands and failed.

Still feel like im running poorly over all in 6max though I had a fair sitting a couple times but seems when I am flatting with big pairs on 3bets when I know the 3better can't play vs a 4bet I get beat up in, flopping trips or two pair with random cards or I flop a set (when I wanna get it in bad and river a set :) and kill action.

I suck at 2-4 I literally spew buyins off there, it is ridiculous how bad I play at 2-4, I need a program that blocks the dollar figure out and just converts everything to BBs on the table, and to be able to hide the names of tables so I can just open them, mix them up and have to play better or risk losing at higher stakes at the rate I do playing 2-4.

So Still stuck since Vegas but will eventually get that all back.

Was going to shoot for the top level in the promo buuut that would be a lot of play AND I would have to do a lot of it at 2-4 and I spew there so I should prob steer clear, and I will probably make top 2 or 3 levels and call it good, but the top level is an insane amount of playing unless I got HU action all day when I played and got a lot of sitgos running. (which one day I did get a guy to play me like 20 400$ HU sitgos in like 2 -3 hours, and he was bad, and I had a 17 of 21 game streak going at one point which is pretty goot)

Have been playin a bit live lately, and my game is just so far ahead of people around here. It is hard to book a losing session if I am focused. Though I drunkenly spewed 5-6K playing blackjack after poker one night. I don't have an exact amount I lost, it may have been more. I was hammered.......

About all for now will try to update more often.

Dudus update is such BS.

He left out all the best and funny parts. I will only write up the real trip report if he agrees to 1. let me write it up in detail & 2. posts the video proof.

Otherwise you'll never know.

Quick summary:

I dropped like 15k running awful.
Dudu's pretty good at live poker.
I hate my life.


That is all.

Ok I will update

Ok... Well I ran great in Vegas.

Well not great but I played great with a some luck.

Me and Jay both had 3-4 losing sessions before one of us had a winning session. ( I had the first winning session - Jay had about 8 losing sessions give or take)

Anyways I played 2-5 with Jay for the first 2 days or so and ran so horribly bad.

The day I move to 5-10 is the day I do well. The 2-5 games are fulllllllll of nits, reason? I have figured it out. All the 2-5 players are in Vegas with their 50c 1$ and 1-2$ rolls and are just so passive about sticking 500+ in a pot without the nuts. Then the 5-10 games full of 2-4 to 10-20 grinders who actually play a little loose with each other, have a roll of over 10K on them and play as such.

So there are 3 or 4 hands I have to share for the trip.

UNO this is my first night on 5-10 abut 5 hours in, I am up a bit but not even close to even for the trip. Then someone puts me in the green!

I have A10o in mid I make it 30$ the button (tighter older guy who has about 5k in bills behind his stack calls) the SB (a guy from the UK but he is dark skinned and throws me off when he talks with an english accent) (and has been 3betting a lot) 3bets OOP to 140. It comes back to me and I make it 440$ and the button flats ????? the 3better folds.

Flop is Ac 9s 7h

I check over to him and he bets 480$

I flat

turn is a 10d rainbow board with 4 cards out

I check and he grabs all his cash and throws it in

I instantly announce all in and he calls and turns AK over and I scoop the pot worth 11K+ with top 2

yay I won a good pot finally after like 3 days.



Later in the night, the UK guy and I have been drinking for a looooong time. We are drunk and I have a good read on him, not a beer goggles read where I don't really have a read, I do have a solid read.

This hand happens.

I have A10d in mid (again) I raise, he 3bets me from the SB (again) and I flat, about 300 in the pot so far)

flop Qd 2h 2c

He checks I fire 240$

He calls

Turn is a 5s

he checks I fire 350 he makes it 1,000

I flat

River comes 9c

Before any action happens because he is stalling badly I tell him to check over to me and Iwill bet 1k and he can just fold and be done.

The dealer says this is binding so he checks I bet 1k and he ships in for 8500$ and Ihave him covered

OOOOOK no I don't insta fold this. I have him on a stone cold bluff due to the fact he has his face staring striaght down and he is not moving (which is my read with tons of evidence) (I know you wanted a more subtle read but I didnt have one)

I tank for a good 5-8 minutes. I rationalize that he can be bluffing with AJ AK which are good, any 5, and possibly a 9.

I swear to you if I had any pair here I make the call, even 66 77 I call, 33 44 I may toss.

I end up foldng and he tables 56o ( a stone cold bluff but a hand that beat me he could be stone cold bluffing with... Sadly...)


Next night, I am playing 5-10 late and I am drunk, up about 8K for the session

Utg makes it 40$ next action makes it 150$ 2 down the line makes it 600$ I look down at Q8c and I announce 2100$ back to UTG who ships and the other 2 fold (this makes me like my play for some reason.... sicne I got the 3 and 4bet out, but who knows if one ships if utg folds)

Anyways I had to call another 1300$ and change to try at a 7k pot.

Flop Qs 8s 2s

yahtzee!

turn 9s

eh I could still be ahead

river - 5s

eh I can chop now?

KsKh scoops

This kid who wins the pot starts talking mad shit to me after this, just being extremely out of line, I said nh, nothing else during the hand but anyways this starts some sparring.

We spar in a lot of pots.

This the worst of the pots we played for me.

Ihave 97o in the BB he is early like UTG +2 and is raising my BB every round

he opens 60$ one call on the button I call

flop Qc 8h 6h

I check - douche bets 150$ button folds I call

turn is 5s (nuts!)

I check - douche bets 550$

I tank for about 45 seconds before putting 1400$ in

Then this kid just glares at me (like he has been doing in every pot like he is a bad ass)for about 2 minutes before going "IM ALL IN"

and I immediately announce "I call with the nuts" as I am turning my hand in the process.

river 7s

he picks his cards up and slams down 98o for a chop pot.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

like 11K-12K in this pot... soooo sick.

Annnnd the last pot I played worth mention.

Just because I am so pleased with my call here.

I have A3o in the cutoff I make it 40$ button 3bets me to 130$ and I come along.

flop is 3d 5d 7h

I check he bets 250$ I call

turn is a 4s

I check he ships in for like 900$ and I tank and make the call with bottom pair no draw

he mucks on a 9d river (he had 23spades)

ship ship.


I got bled on during the trip, I am sure Jay will publish that unfortunately for me.

I am running shitty since I have been back but I will cry later.

Au revoir!

Vegas

Ton's of stuff to write about but I don't feel like it so I'll keep it brief.
3:30 am

Just finished packing for vegas. Flying in tomorrow, meeting up with dudu who's coming in 2 hours before me.

Depeche bailed out on us. Pussy.

Cadderly, the fat Danish will be there, so that should be fun. Couple of girls from NY flying in too.

Bought myself a bunch of $125 t-shirts. Don't know why. I went to buy jeans and didn't buy a single pair. Great.

I picked up 4 girls on saturday night in the span of 2 hours. Two in the span of 10 minutes and they were right next to each other. Decent night's work.

We have, in mixed order:

1. A waitress - lots of points for this one. She's cute, a waitress (nightlife service very difficult to pick up usually) and has a boyfriend. Short, blonde.

2. A dental assistant - cute, I can't judge her body...one of those have to see her naked or in different clothes chicks. Has a nose ring so deducting points there but pleasant girl. Blonde

3. A stripper, i think - She hasn't told me she's a stripper yet but I'm pretty sure she is. Decent looking, great body. Marginal personality. Tall.

4. Unknown - not very attractive while sober, unknown body but educated guess leans towards a negative. Only picked her up because I was winging for a dood I knew who was hitting on her much much much omg so much uglier sister. Don't know what he was thinking. Chick gave me her number while witnessing me kick game to the waitress. Cool. If she's down like that, I'm all for it. Tall.

Dropped 11 dimes fathers day playing 10-20. Ran bad, played bad. Figure I shoulda lost about 6. Bluffed a bunch of big pots and got looked up but don't really regret any of the plays. Played bad in the medium pots and non showdown.

Played 50k 3 weeks in a row. God what an easy tourny. Ft'd once, cashed the other 2x.

Last one ran my AA into KK, Board came xxK, turn A, river K. Meh, 2 tables left i win that pot, i win prob win the tournament. They are just so bad.

Busted TT vs 99 when appropriately the 9 flopped.


Now I can't decide between calling the stripper and going to sleep.

Our readers suck.

J

I can teach a blind deaf mute how to pick up women.

The title says it all.

Running Colllllld

Well I was running good pre Vegas and for a couple days after Vegas. But now I am just ice cold.

I have been playing poorly also and playing poorly and running poorly = disaster.

I have especially been playing bad vs Jerry. But I think I have my head straight again. Hopefully.

Ummmmmm I am on a whoppin 5 hockey teams now. So I may be in shape soon, but I won't quit smoking!

But seriously I am running REALLY bad.......

I am back... and slow

So Vegas was not too shabby, a couple of players from PDC out there, no cash players though. LTUFlawless and Sliekas. Both difficult to understand at times but nice fellas. Sliekas was my drinkin buddy, guy is a trooper.

Poker side of Vegas, didn't get into event 4, prob glad I didn't though I would have just donked out anyways. I played a 1500$ PLO event, which my AA92 with one suit got busted when I got my last 24 BB in pre (which was avg stack anyways) vs KKJJ one suit. I was slight favorite at like 61-39 but didn't manage to squeak on by.

The cash games were good once again, though there were two nights I was way too drunk to be playing and those two nights cost me roughly 3500$ and another night, beyond the tables cost me over 3K which was a bad bad night..... Strip club rocked my world. All I want to reminisce about that.

Had some other good nights though and ended up down about 3k for the trip thanks to some crafty roulette play and 2 good nights on 2-5. And my only 5-10 session was a bad drunk night where I was up well at 2-5 then the 5-10 game finally got enough players to run so I moved and just gave my $$ away.

Why wasn't I playing 5-10 in Vegas? Well I played at the MGM cause it was walking distance, and last year had a soft 5-10 going every time I went in, I guess since it was early in the series it was not as happening, though the games were insanely soft 5-10 only snapped off twice while I was there.

Debating going back out later this month but it is doubtful. I figure I will prob find a house to rent/own undecided yet on that, own sounds better but for my complex situation I don't think it is. Tax man would find me super quick if I buy, so I gotta get some shit straight with a quickness. Then I prob won't have enough money to even think about buying but oh well. Dead end street for anothe year I guess. And also buying a new vehicle soon. Yay.

Ummm, have not played too much since I have been back, I played a few drunk sessions from Vegas and turned up about 13K somehow, which I will gladly take so the past week hasn't been all bad.

Now I am on 4 hockey teams coming up in 2 weeks or so, so I am going to be super busy with that 4-5 days a week sometimes. But I could always use the excercise.

Ummm nothin else really I see Jay has given up posting... bastard..

WSOP Tomorrow, HOOT DANG!

Well I feel I am going underrolled out to Vegas, not over all roll just what I am taking, 10K will it last me? I hope so, I plan on playing 3 events.

Event 4 then there is another holdem and a 6max I want to play, or I may blow the 6max off and play a 2500$ Holdem instead since I imagine my 6max live could use some work with high antes and stuff being ridiculous I don't trust myself to have perfect timing for 3 days to win that. Where as I can kind of know my range on a 9 handed table for tourney play and expect more fish to be signed up for 9 handed tables.

Staying in the shitty ole Tropicana but I got 7 nights for like 340$ which is cool, despite it being the worst casino I could possibly be in.

Jay is bitching out, refusing to go pretty much because he is a prepubescant female who is afraid of being made fun of for the way he stacks his chips. He can barely stack up a 1-2 buyin (40 5$ chips) in his little nerd stacks of 10 because he has never won more than a few hundred bucks and doesn't realize that nerd stacks won't fit in your area on a good night very often.

There will be a few of the MTT players from .com out there, but not ring game players that I know of, though we don't talk really because none of us really talk to each other unless we are drunk (or if I am and forcing conversation via an online table because I... well, am drunk)

Since I haven't posted in a while, I guess I will brag about my last 8-10 days or so. I am on fucking fire. Just murdering when I really am not even playing all that much. I prob logged 50 hours over 8 days (which for poker standards is next to nothing at time) mostly 5-10 HU or 6max with some 2-4 and 3-6 (though I feel like I have booked losses in 2-4 and 3-6 during this time, or just barely running over) and would be willing to bet that I was running 20-25BB/100 hands profit. So I would say I logged 15K hands during the 8days and was up right at 30K for that span, which is elite. DaveGK one of those guys who helped... Fkin Davey....

So I'll be in Vegas for 8 days, and I will try to get an update in here, but no promises since I will probably be playing poker/drunk/or fighting with a prostitute on how much I owe her.

Grimstarring me is a bad idea if you're a HU reg!

So there's this dude who once stole my blinds a couple of times at a HU table and then sat out and said he didn't want to play me...so of course as pay back I now sit at every one of his HU tables whenever I see him on...he sits out and keeps telling me to leave, that he'll report me, that I'm an ahole...you know...the usual. It's moderately funny. I wonder how many people have reported me for constantly sitting at their HU tables non stop...

Anyhow... I was blocking at all his 2-4 & 3-6 tables so he went to 1-2 and I sat at those too. He eventually left but I had them open and was playing like 3 6max's and 1HU other than those.

So some guy sits down at my 1-2HU table and we start playing...and I'm not paying much attention but he's pretty aggro and 3bets quite a bit. Anyway one hand we played where I cr'd AI w/ AK into kings in a 3bet pot and sucked out. So I guess he was a little mad and was playing even more aggro. Anyhow he wins his buyin back and we keep going and then this happens:

Eff stacks were maybe around $250 or something

He opens OTB
I 3bet 27o
He calls
Flop comes like A2Xr
I cbet
He calls
Turn 7
I opt to check (loL, but bear w/ me)
he checks back
riv is Q no draws got there
so I bet like 89 into 105 or something along those lines
he then raises all in for like another 50 more.
I call so he can show me AQ and I can whine about how bad I play except he shows me 36cc for no pair. He then proceeds to chastise me about 3betting 27o for like the next 20minutes which I found ridiculously amusing.

Of course he ended up winning all his money back and some of mine so go figure.

A funny moment in time:

Last night I was driving home on a rather popular street and I guess I was driving a little too fast cause some dood who was standing next to a truck at a stop light, talking to someone inside it, started running away to the sidewalk as I was approaching the light. So I decide to be a nice guy and not even pull up all the way to the light, leaving room for this guy to talk to his friend.

They finish up and I creep up to the light. It goes green, and I normally drive off...which I guess normally for me is a little faster than most people. Anyway this dude in the truck keeps staying side by side motioning for me to roll down my window. Okay.

Turns out to be this huge rednecky looking guy who appears to be zooted out of his mind.

Redneck: "This truck got balls!"
Jay: [blank look]
Redneck: "You wanna race?"
Jay: "Nah, your truck's too heavy"
Redneck: "C'mon. Let's bet. This truck got balls!!!"
Jay: "How much?"
Redneck: "A bag of yayo"
Jay: "I don't need yayo."
Redneck: "Me either. You can give it to your friend or somethin'"
Jay: "How much money you got on you?"
Redneck pulls out a bunch of singles and fives and stuff and starts counting.
Jay: "Never mind. Alright, let's go."

So of course I don't even launch control and just blow him away from the light, dart between two cars and slow down cause I see a cop car waiting to make a U turn. A few moments later this fool comes barreling down past me in his enormous suburban. Yep, you guessed it...sirens and lights and pulling over to the side.

There goes that bag of yayo I was going to win.

Let this be a lesson to all you kids: Don't do drugs. Also don't buy huge suburbans and then try to race against sports cars designed for precision handling at high speeds.

The internet pokerz

Do you pricks see how much I love my readers? Count it, not one but TWO updates in one day!

So since I've talked about playing like a retard at teh live pokerz...here's some online retardation for you:

I'm so freaking tired I don't know why I decided to play instead of doing more favorable activities...like sleeping. Anyway, being tired my brain is barely working. This is what you get when you go to lift and do back for an hour, then go to a hardcore muay thai workout for two hours and polish it off by drinking till 8 am and challenging people to quarter flips. Welcome to my life.

Anyway, since my brain is done for, I just played like a passive fishbag, misplaying some hands and costing myself value. Oh wells.

Then I lost some flips and gout 3 outed. Oh wells.

Played 2 sort of interesting hands:

H1:

Villain: Random card runner subscriber - this is my new name for mediocre players who watch videos from mediocre instructors or never grasp concepts from the good ones yet still try to pull off deep moves without understanding them. What does this mean? They suck. On to the debauchery!

5handed
Effective 400ish
I open X,X in SB.
BB calls
7d9s2c
std cbet he pops me, yeah. this will work. I repop him. he tanks and calls.
Turn Kd
I ship about the pot +/- 10%
He insta calls and rolls over K5hh
Sure. Soul read. Qhigh no good.


H2:

HU
700ish effective

Random card runners subscriber open limps OTB
I check my option
KdTdAh
I check call his $4
Turn Jd
I check call another $12 holding a small diamond
River Qc
I check, he bets $40
I tank and make it $115 to go
He tanks and makes it $235 total
I tank and obv ship it in for $587 more
He snap calls with 5 high and we pay the rake

Soul read again! How can I suck so much? Is there no end to my sucking?

On the brighter side of things, the J1's are coming soon. For those of you who don't know, a J1 is a student work visa that many young foriegn ladies use to travel to the us for summer employment. Many of these ladies choose to make NYC their temporary home and it is here where they search for a financially secure gentleman who will make them his wife and thus help secure a green card and relief from potential deportation.

Most of these bimbos come from small poverty stricken cities in Europe and will do pretty much anything for even the vague illusion that someone may wed them to secure that almighty U.S. citizenship. And, coincidentally, I know just the sexual deviant to take full advantage of these desperate women!

Open the flood gates, I'm ordering another 100 piece sampler from condomania!


J

Drunk pokers

I'm such a tard when I get drunks and play teh live pokers. I start check calling flops and turns and check raising the river with any 2 cards. Do you know how often that works in live poker? 0%

Plus I run around like a retard and tell people I will flip them for all the money that's in my pocket...which is usually a couple of G's. I pretty much will flip them for it but they usually back down and there's just something amusing about trash talking poker players backing down from a 6-8k coin flip.

Then I start slurring my words and tell people how good I am at poker and how I play onlinez and will play any of them heads up. They just tell me that I'm a "good player" and decline any heads up shennenigans or stop speaking to me but only after they ask for my stars & fulltilt names.

Then we start penis measuring by name dropping who we know or don't know in the poker world. I tell people I know duduweewee, they tell me they know guys like [insert some inept jackass who got 15 minutes of fame on espn when he won a seat to the main event in his home game and who's name no one even remembers]. Oh, and ivey. They all know ivey. Ivey's their fcuking best friend. They've played with him on X/XX/XXXX (usually it's when he was still living in jersey so it's like 1865). Funny how they remember playing with ivey in some 15-30 stud game 150 years ago and that he wore a red hat and a black shirt and blue jeans. And that he had a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich for breakfast and brushed his teeth starting from the left side first and of course that he is "a good player". Actually, it's not funny...it's tragic.

Of course, not to be out done I start telling people that I used to play in 5-10 games with durrrrrrrrrrrrr way back. See? I'm cool too. "Oh, durrrrrr? Yeah I saw him on HSP. He's a good player". Of course! Then they give me this serious face and what I have dubbed the 'nod of approval'...you know that little up and down head shake as if I'm asking for permission to join their exclsuive ahole club. Little do they know I'm the mfking president of the ahole club!

One day I'm going to run into someone who's good at heads up who will bust me or someone who's good at fighting who will just beat me up once I get outside.

I can't wait.

All this after 2 vodka shots, 2 tequila shots, 1 cognac, 4 or 5 whiskeys and 3 heinikens. My alchohol tolerance has turned into that of a little girls. I blame 3up. He told me I am an alchoholic and I should cut down. So I did. This is what happens. I'm still drunk at 4pm and I just woke up.

Live poker: A life time of memories and -$450 cause I'm too drunk to fold on pair'd boards when it's obvious the guy has me beat. Almost folded. Pretty sure I'd have folded if I was sober but meh... whatever I've done waaaaaaaaay worse.

A win? The hell you say.

I guess hell must have frozen over because I actually won $$ yesterday/today.

Played 2 seperate marathon sessions.

Session 1: Was down like 5k early, then up 3, then broke even. Meh.

Several hours later...

Session 2: Finally ran good for a change, +7k or something along those lines. See what happens when I win some flips and don't get 3 outed?

Play: I can't really assign a letter grade since it fluctuated from really bad to bad to borderline break even. I'm still not happy w/ it. Definitely played better session 2 than 1 but I didn't play as well as I'd have liked anyway. I'm way out of practice 6-7 tabling w/ like 3 heads up games and such.

I'm sure a few interesting hands were played but I played so many hands, I don't remember any of them. I've learned everyone likes to look me up 3 streets with bottom pair, so that's cool. Also, people put themselves in terrible spots oop vs me. Also cool. Now if only I can turn some scare cards that don't complete villians' hands.

I wrote several far more interesting blog DRAFTS which I've yet to finish so I'll probably combine them into one post later.

At the moment I'm trying to get a party house in the hamptons. Ballinnnn

J

Boyyyy ohhhh boyyyyyy

Jay, DaveGK was dead. He came scrambling along with 200$ playing tighter than I have ever seen him (prob a 200$ deposit roughly) and he tripled and ran off. So he was dead, he gambled and is back in black for a few days prob.

About that RC plane I bought. Fuck me....

So I bought a 300$ plane delivered.

It comes in the mail, no remote OR MOTOR so I go to the store, drop 700$ on the motor (which I almost spelled moter) and the remote and the "servos"

Well ok so now I am in for 1K on this fucking thing. So I do the flight simulator they have, and I suck so I buy another plane for 250$ to dick around with, I shit you not I had that son of a bitch in flight for 6 seconds before I hit a powerline (yea I know don't fly around powerlines) well I have a road and a runway leading into a large field by the house I reside in and I didn't quite make it. So now I am 1300$ deep in flying these fucking money pits and I haven't even flown yet OR ASSEMBLED THIS FUCKING MONSTER I BOUGHT. The other one will be bad ass when it's done, has a 71" wingspan and a 22CC motor (125? for RC planes) but turned out roughly a 22CC motor which is pretty stout for an RC plane I guess.

I haven't been playing poker hardly and when I do I am drunk usually and losing and I am hating it blah blah I played live and got bored and snapped for 1500$ on a 2-5 game, all in one hand where the guy literally checkraises his AA for like 1400$ (yea I knew he had AA/KK I wont run the hand) but I flopped top pair told him I was going to suck out and I didn't and I hate poker for now.

I wanna win the powerball!

Seriously this blog URL says it all

FUCK MONEY, I just piss anything I make away and it seems to be a never ending cycle.

When will I learn?