I hate money

Not playing merge was better than playing merge.

2012-01-31T22:56:00.002-05:00

I don't know how they do it. I really don't. One kid flops a set or makes a flush every hand. Another proceeds to light me up check calling 77 on AKJJ and somehow plays nitball but rails every 3bet pot w Arag and Jrag. Then checks flushes to me on the river.

One day I will combine moose's graph with my own from Merge for shits and giggles. I expect to see an Ev dip of about half a mill.

Tata

FTP PAY ME

I'm annoyed.

2012-01-28T07:21:00.003-05:00

I played for like 18 hours straight only to be stuck 25k. Granted it's only 2.5 buyins and I monkey'd off like 40k anyway and played fairly poorly, I am still annoyed at how awful I ran.

It's just stupid. And these vermin don't give any action. I am going to start hit n running and grimign all the bumhunters and annoying regs just o make them as miserable as they make me.

It's 7:30am. I'm dead tired. I'd still play anyone right now cause I want to get even, but god damn these losers won't play. Everyone must have really great nosebleed games somewhere on the euros. I need more money on non us sites. Yeah. I said it.

Misery upon all the vile and disgusting creates that nest on the heads up tables.

J

P.s. It amuses me that only haters read this blog. It also amuses me they think I care about what they think or want. Yes, you reading this right now. I wouldn't spit on you to put out a fire. Well, maybe I would spit on you.

P.p.s FTP PAY ME

UPDATE: Decided 25k was a small loss so lost 80k instead. Going to sleep now. Also going to retire.

Hi FanBoys

2012-01-19T19:21:00.005-05:00

2011--------> sucked balls.
2012--------> sucks less balls.

Ran the worst that anyone can run in the last 3 months of 2011. Not posting hands or graphs, but i was insanely below EV and it was never ending. The only thing that kept me going is that I cant run worse than Dudu has...no one can. I started online off well for 2012 and as for live...I played a 560$ borgata poker open. Day 1 I must of hit 4 sets and got paid on 3 of them, and had a kid stack off with QT on KKQ vs my AK. Went into day 2 in the top 10 in chips with 220 left. Hands leading to meltdown- I 3b squeeze QQ, kid folds, old guy folds and was mad. Next orbit old guy opens (he looks like Jack Hauffman from Gold Rush with sunglasses and a hat on) i 3 bet to 65k with AK (4-8k). He calls with about 230k behind (I'm about 530k deep), flop AK2, i bet 60k he calls, turn 2x, i ship he calls K2cc. GG moose. I almost snap at the guy but I just said nothing. I was one comment away from flipping a lid. Like 3 hands later i ship 20bbs into the guys raise with KQhh, he has AA and I brick a KT9 board. FML. I min cashed, sad. More updates to come. Dudu, Jay, and my Fanboys, I love you.

Side Note- Tourney paid 160k+ for first.

New Years Poker Resolution

2011-12-25T19:39:00.002-05:00

In 2012, I will finally become a bumhunter!

FTP PAY ME U SCUMBAGS

I ventured to 500-1k for the first time. LOL

2011-12-19T18:40:00.002-05:00

LOL?
LOL!

FTP PAY ME.

P.s. LOL?

FU Decemeber, what a shitty month you are.

2011-12-02T08:33:00.003-05:00

So I started the big D E C at a nice minus 15k.

F POKER

On the brightside, I think Moose had a winning day yesterday after not winning for 2 months. Why is it like this? Only one of us can win at the same time. Meanwhile we can both run awful for months on end.

New Poll. Vote for my misery.

Also amusing that the only people who visit here are the haters. I love you guys.

FTP PAY ME

Poker

2011-11-27T06:04:00.002-05:00

BAHAHAHAHA

Won a 14k coin flip. Finished session 5k below ev.

How does this happen?

Also I seem to have made a new friend. There's a railbird that likes to run around the mid high stakes games and tell people how good they're running. That is his entire MO. He just joins tables and if he sees anyone winning, he starts spamming the chat about how hot they're running and what fish they are and how they're going busto as soon as the heater ends. He's taken a particularly liking to me (obv because of how hot I run...that's sarcasm for those of you who are slow) and taunts me every chance he gets. It's awesome. I feel like he is my #1 fan. I am definitely his number 1 fan. He amuses me like no other. Too bad I can't tell him because I have a chat ban. Bahahahaha. Poker.

FTP PAY ME

Gobble Gobble Fucksticks

2011-11-24T07:37:00.002-05:00

I win the poll, but what do I win?

Busted 3x, surprised?...thank god they're accepting credit again. One day Moose, one day.

I'm drooling, and a ghost in my house doesn't like NWA's 'Fuck The Police.' Please refrain from throwing my phone again unless you actually hit me; I thought we got a long mr ghost.

More Graphs, more whining

2011-11-06T00:08:00.004-05:00

I think this is like 35-40k hands at 5-10, rest at 3-6, 10-20, 25-50.

It seems hands cannot hold at all. My play has deteriorated to open tables, go straight to massive tilt.

Why did I come back to poker?

FTP PAY ME

Having a nice month.

2011-10-21T07:51:00.006-05:00

A session from today. 4 tabling 2 clown regs at 5-10, 2 tables each simultaneously. How do I run better? Anyone? Anyone???????

FTP PAY ME

This is a nice welcome back to poker.

2011-10-16T15:37:00.007-05:00

How terrible this guy is, I cannot even begin to describe. Keep in mind, this is mostly (95%ish) at 5-10, with a little at 10-20.

The funny thing is, that doesn't even tell the whole story. The coolers, the insanity, the folding preflop every time I have any tier 1 hand. I am in some absurd twilight zone that is cruel and vengeful. I will probably have to sacrifice a virgin soon. Hope dudu isn't doing anything Wednesday night.

FTP PAY ME

So I tinkered with the blog a bit...

2011-10-07T02:53:00.004-05:00

A poll, a search option, our e-mail, and some banners. Wee?

So i haven't blogged for so long I don't even know where to begin. Or if I should even bother. Or what my purpose in life is anymore...

I guess the first thing I should do is recap from black friday till now. I'll try keep this short and colorful since no one likes to read a long boring blog about some guy in ny that likes to play poker once in a while. Why the hell do you even visit here? Yeah, I'm talking to you. The guy reading this right now. If you're a girl, send your pic. E-mail address is to the right.

Anyway,

It was ultimately decided that I ought to enjoy the NY summer before making any rash country moving, decisions. FTP owes me a lot of money.

Summer came and went, and I didn't even notice. I didn't even get a tan. 3up and I considered moving to mexico or canada (not so much) or Europe...but ultimately, as per our usual, no one did anything. Dudu was MIA trying to become a "live grinder" (plz ask him all about this, insert teehee emoticon). Moose is attached at the hip so his black friday response was to go fly his plane around a little more often. How I wish we could trade lives.

No one cares about phreezenet, vox or depeche so this is the only mention they will get.

September was eventfull. I went on a legendary (even for me) tear of debauchery and grotesque behavior. No fist fights by hospitals this year, however. I'm also lifting regularly and eating well. And I hope to resume training some form of martial art soon. Whether this actually happens, I think 3up is taking bets.

Poker wise, I have hardly played at all. But I'm sure you all knew that. I pursued an interesting, non poker related endeavour that ended fruitlessly...so it looks like it's back to getting hit n ran by fish and sitting around all day waiting for action. I'm pretty rusty and don't really know how to play poker anymore...so maybe I can do the hit n running for a change. No, I'm not broke.

But 3up is. In fact, I think he's gone broke like 4 times in the last 2 months. How this kid wins at poker, I will never understand.

Dudu has recently come to his senses. After getting ganked by UB (tard) and then trying to become a live pro (tard) he's back to grinding random shit like sit n gos (tard). I don't even know. The kid is abnormal. He's beyond any help that I can provide as he just completely ignores any positive advice I offer.

Moose has been running so mega bad terrible (even worse than me) this year, that I think he's completely fed up. I think he just flys around New Jersey all day now looking for excuses not to crash his plane into Howard Lederer's house. He's been on a serious MIA.

I almost forgot. Kotton. I have absolutely no idea what this kid is doing.

Oh, GirahGate:

I'm sure most of you have read my summary on 4. Funny thing is, I wasn't even going to make any post about the situation...but then when I saw the information that was presented before my post, I knew I couldn't let shit stand like that. Dog was was trying to manipulate these kids to cover his shady actions and it was obvious (at least to me)...shit was not going to go down like that. Glad it worked out on a positive note.

Moose and I long suspected that Girah cheated in the challenge anyway. Impossible to get that kind of action in such a coincidental manner.

I'd write up a long AEJones book like post on the entire situation, but I think everything relevant has already been said.

Also, holla 1 time for beating people who can see my hole cards?

Some of those hands were amusing. Maybe I'll post them here at some point.

So. What now?

Pokerwise...who knows? VPNs, shedding the rust and bangin with regs for a dollar.

Lifewise...I think I may want to buy a new car.

FTP PAY ME

J

For everyone who's been asking about cake skin that pays.

2011-10-04T16:34:00.005-05:00

I added a banner to the right with all the other banners. Go sign up for intertops and play and earn me money. 33% Rakeback. Now stop E-mailing and skyping me.

For people who don't care about playing poker but only come here to read the drivel I write. I have been extremely life busy. I have not played much poker. I promise to make a real update or a series of updates sometime soon. Maybe even before 2012.

FTP PAY ME.

I am a spaz, I am a spaz, I am a spaz, I am a spaz

2011-09-16T11:58:00.002-05:00

If I was in poker school I would have to write that on a blackboard 1,000 times or something...

I hate merge, I spaz the fudge out every time I play cash on there. Slumming their tourneys is boring enough, but I can not compose myself when I play cash, it is seriously just a repeating pattern. Hit every flop win a few buyins get coolered lose all back, rinse repeat, except when I lose back I spew more. So if I play HU there any more, I am quitting everyone once I am up 3 buyins. I am king of getting unstuck, but I am bigger king of getting way stuck.

I am running awful in the tourneys, getting deep is no problem, just when it gets down to 15 people or so I get 3b 4 out of 5 opens, or flatted and never have the goods or never flop a pair and I just dwindle a bit then get 6th-9th.... Don't think I have done better than 4th in anything this week but have final tabled like 15-18 tourneys (no brag on the final tables, half the fields are under 100 players) (don't even feel like calling them final tables)

I am destroying everleaf with my run good and no tilt there. I don't know why I do not tilt there, PDC is becoming my new FTP, seeing the software makes me lose my fucking mind. They owe me 12,500 for checks I never received and that were deleted out of my ledger (yea looks like I am feeding a bogus lie to them whenever I told them this happened, they think I am trying to pull off the most retarded scam I could come up with), I feel legitimately cheated along with Moose and Jay and another guy and then all the old school regs from lower stakes starting threads on 2+2 asking if any other old schoolers are winning a dime there. Like doom switches from hell on there... I hate the fact that I am even playing there, I do not trust the integrity of the site and I hope they rot in hell for all the troubles they have caused.

I have been fishing a lot, I caught a nice flathead catfish weighing 32 LBS last weekend. Planning on going again tonight, though its semi cool outside and rain got here faster than I wanted, warm front coming in in the next 12-18 hours would much rather hit the head of that to fish but probably wont.

Cliff notes - I am a spaz

Runnin bad slummin bad

2011-09-08T00:47:00.003-05:00

Somehow I manage to lose 7 buyins + to 3 different people in 2 days playing 1-2 hu.... Pretty sure if I could see their cards with a super user account I might not have been able to break even :/ (thats a lie, but it was stupid)

I need boom switch, wonder twin powers activate!

Why is merge so god damn slow with withdraws too... this is brutal, I need $$$$$

Kotton ignore them haters, be a player, play the game.

Send all money to daduhweewah on merge, it will go to a good cause.

If you dont then fuck off

O DEAR LORD BABY JEEBUS

2011-09-02T20:16:00.003-05:00

OK I am back, despite Merge being assholes who owe me money, and probably screwing us out of money.... (maybe me moose and jay are bad enough to lose like 2k buyins.... I am for sure, but Jay??? and Moose????!!!!???)

I am slumming tourneys (though I just bust them when I am bored cause I hate them and they pay peanuts) and 1-2 and some 2-4....

Moose and Jay would only loan me peanuts (Moose gave me 1500 on merge and 1500 on minted, and Jay gave me the finger) Little faith they have. I am up significantly considering I started with peanuts. But still a long long long way from where I need to be. It sucks knowing I used to be legitimately wealthy (for my area of the country definitely) and now being poor. But whatever, just fuel to the fire gotta keep working on it.

0 to 6 figures by new years? Probably not, but thats the goal.

I am back blog readers... mark it on the calendar.

Why does my semen have blood in it?

11 years

2011-08-31T01:58:00.004-05:00

Doesn't mean shit when you've got a psychotic, suicidal thinking, depressed woman who can go from giving you the best head and wanting your babies to kicking you out in a matter of days because 'all you do is drink, play poker, get on the computer or watch the dvr and never put me first"

Bitch, cry me another fucking Euphrates. The only reason you're alive is because of my ass. I fucking work in a lab all the time. How the fuck can you say this shit?

"Get a job or move out"

Fine, I'm fucking employed as a molecular biologist now and rarely play poker or drink anywhere near the volume I used to daily.

"Well you still don't put me first, so get out"

Get the fuck outta dodge brah.

I found a bad ass place right up my alley. We'll see how you roll when you unfuck your head; We'll see if I even be accepting that head.

Shit, who am I kidding.

Peace the fuck out assholes.

I find dimes

2011-08-24T03:45:00.002-05:00

Everywhere; Frequently.

Online sucks.

I like my new roommate; He donates.

.

I'm a BioChemist Biiiitch!!

2011-06-30T01:15:00.007-05:00

Not like any of you 4 fucking trolls and FabFierce care but I'm finally using my degree and currently doing DNA sequencing, gene synthesis and a bunch of other nerdy scientific jargon that you'd have to Google to understand anyways at (I had the name of the company but randomly found it linked through google to this horrendous blog and decided to edit it out) Soooooooooooooo that means less opportunities for you fucksticks to take my moniez, and I'm sure you're in tears atm.
Enjoy

***O and fuck FTP, sucks for those of you screwed; Jay I'm sure there have been a few whores with decent stories attached you're not sharing or at least something to explain your ice cold PTR status on merge; Dadu is probably dead from pills and Moose, I hope you start running better buddy!

My fan club expands

2011-05-26T15:50:00.004-05:00

Evidently it's a mass group of one individual in the central US with nothing to do. 2 hours ahead of Cali puts you somewhere in the middle of who gives a fuck your life sucks land. You're more than welcome to come visit San Diego and play. We have good times with foreigners here. Aaannnnnnd the ladies are off the hook, like fucking ridiculous. Way better than those skanky, buck-toothed bitches that inhabit your quaint little town. It's bikini time, and I'm sure you're two piece is a little dusty begging to be hugged around the shell that cradles your warm, kind heart.

You've put a smile on my face with every comment. Haven't had a good laugh in a while. Thanks for posting! Would be epic if you could squander enough time to reach a 100 comments. I'd probably even ship you some pennies to grind with.

Much love,
XOXOXOXOXO

Maybe I'll join dudu!?

2011-05-02T00:04:00.003-05:00

Just time to quit online poker... Yes i play bad but seriously...

10K+ freeroll

2011-04-26T15:10:00.002-05:00

Easter, family, beer..lots of it, no food...all day
Why not go to the bar after...
4 Vics, sure
Why not spin the tires out of the parking lot at 11pm
Still no food...it's sitting in the Jack in the Box bag on the passenger seat
Ah Fuck FUck FUCk FUCK FUCK YOU STUPID FUCKING FUCK FUCK
"Any reason you're spinning your tires?"
Best excuse I can mumble, "Got new kicks on" shrugs shoulders and lifts hands palms up
"You been drinking tonight sir?"
"Yup"
"How many have you had?"
"Three" (lesson 8 in physics for dopeheads tells you to never say, "two")
"Pheeewwww, I can smell it"
"Hang out here. I'll be back in a minute."
Mind's racing, thinking of turning the keys and flooring it, remembered I'm in a 4 cylinder, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Gathered myself as more cops arrive. Proceed through the interview decently. The catch may have been when asked my level of education. That and he didn't bust out the breathalyzer. I was off by one second on the tilt your head back count to 30 seconds act. I was able to count to 4 before I had to put my foot down, but binked the other 26 seconds flawlessly. TBH I musta been possessed by my spirit guide or something because there's no rationale for passing the tests given my conditions.
In Cali I think the going rate is around 10-12k in fees associated with DUI, so I basically just won.

Best luck I've had in years.

Time to move!

2011-04-26T02:20:00.003-05:00

Been randomly browsing FTP/PS games...they look pretty damn good.

25-50's got genuine fish handing out paper...

As 3up would say, cest le vi.

Decisions will be made this coming week. Stay tuned.

You know what I hate?

2011-04-16T03:37:00.003-05:00

You.

And you.

And you too.

OH, and the SOCIALIST STATES OF AMERICA.

I will (probably not) make a long, hateful, post about how much of a pisshole this country has become and how apalled I am that our current leaders are so inpet, they can barely function let alone be the champions of liberty and freedom they claim they are. ROAST SLOWLY IN A HOT FIRE, YOU SCUM.

A quick poker catch up: Barely play. Lost 12k playing live cause they have the one hand that doesn't fold, then I get mad cause I can't make a hand for 2 days straight.

Went on a tear, beat the hell out of bad regs, dropped half back. Quit for a month.

Went on a tear, beat the hell out of good regs, moved up to where stakes matter, played bad, lost itall. Quit for a month.

So now I decide to make my glorious return rigth before the end of online poker as know it. I am so smart.

Oh and contrary to what dudu would have you believe, I have tried to play every single HU reg on PDC, FTP for 2 days straigth. I got action (for more than 50 hands) from THREE guys. THREE. I must have sat against about 50+ different players. No ty Noty No ty No ty No ty No ty No ty. I even chased them. Buttoned for my blind about 30x.

Oh, and also I hope online poker either gets fully legal with all sites open to US OR I hope it dies completely for the USA so I can move on with my life or move to another country like I've wanted to do for the past 2 years.

Today was a terrible day.

Burn in hell Eric Holder.

J

Headed to ST Louis to find Nelly

2011-04-07T12:23:00.003-05:00

And for WSOP Circuit, very small one, 1600$ main and som 550$ buyins leading up. Probably will only play the main and some 5-10 cash. I won a WSOP Main event package, and another mtt last night. Been playing a lot of MTTs lately, with not too much to show for it, theres profit!! Just not as much as I would like. The merge mtts are cute, everyone thinks I just run like god.... They all play sooo bad, anyone not playing merge mtts (if you dont make more than 50$ hourly on average and you don't play the merge mtts you are a moron) I mix them in with whatever I am doing, I have slowed down on playing cash only, I was getting murdered at 6max, breaking even then spewing like 30 buyins from frustration, 6max is literally just such a standardized game now. You have your ranges vs regs that are all about the same, you flip with this, with that, run good win money... I failed to run good too often, so now I just play the full ring games in the background and will sit hu. Been doing better like this, probably will keep doing this. Kinda hard sometimes to have like 20 mtts going then have fuck face Miki27 or whatever come to my HU table and say "PLAY FASTER" evey 2 minutes when I am going as fast as I can anyways and barely even being slow on that table as I make my moves there before any table! Then the cunt always runs up like 5x his buyin then loses it if he stays but sometimes he is smart and runs off and dumps it to someone else. I think I am going to take a road trip to the north west of the USA after this WSOP Circuit stuff, so if anyone lives in like Idaho, North Dakota, Oregon, something up there, post here and if I get close to your town I will mooch a drink from you. (you can buy me a drink in other words) and I will sign your hat or girlfriends tits or whatever and you can convince her I am famous !! Will try to post more here, as I always said... I feel bad you all have to listen to Kottons quantum physics for dope heads and moose4lifes monotone whining (tough to be monotone by typing) and jays denial that he is not a bum hunter when all he does is scout games and get mad if you dont tell him where a fish is! Wanna win a MILLION DOLLARS? Ask how in the comment section!

Jay eee el el OH I'm alive

2011-04-04T16:30:00.004-05:00

Still not clean! I try! I fail! I am in a non stop break even run - I suck at poker and I am going to win the lottery soon. It is inevitable. - - -Jay you have always been a bum hunter... and no body cares - - Moose, no body cares - -Kotton, no body cares - -Tell me you love me baby. By leaving a comment saying "I Love You Baby" , love ya babes

Back to 25-50, back to a day of running 11k below EV!

2011-03-31T14:47:00.002-05:00

11k,below EV, that's not bad, but wtf, i seriously just got back form a 10 day break of cash games, and this crap continues. On my break i won the weekly 215$ Hu at PS, for like 14k.Also was willing to chop with the guy but he apparently thought he was good or something. Funny part was i got sucked out on with over pair vs underpair twice, and still won it. Yes I ran well, like KQ vs 66 and 66 vs KQ. Need to win those.

This hand is great, I am 100% sure he doesn't have an ace, but some type of gutter or medium pair.He timebank calls turn...fish.
***** Hand History for Game 32916464100 ***** (Merge)
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Thursday, March 31, 01:57:32 ET 2011
Table Deal It Twice Death Valley (Heads Up) (32916464) (Real Money)
Seat 2 is the button
Seat 1: moose4life ( $5651.26 USD )
Seat 2: OfficerSnickers ( $8607.65 USD )
OfficerSnickers posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
moose4life posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to moose4life [ 4s 7s ]
OfficerSnickers raises [$75.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$275.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers calls [$225.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ As, 6c, 4d ]
moose4life bets [$365.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$980.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$1535.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers calls [$920.00 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ Qd ]
moose4life raises [$3426.26 USD]
OfficerSnickers calls [$3426.26 USD]
moose4life shows [4s, 7s ]
OfficerSnickers shows [5d, 6d ]
** Dealing River ** [ 5s ]
OfficerSnickers wins $11302.02 USD from main pot

cooler

***** Hand History for Game 32918127178 ***** (Merge)
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Thursday, March 31, 02:35:29 ET 2011
Table Deal It Twice Death Valley (Heads Up) (32918127) (Real Money)
Seat 2 is the button
Seat 1: OfficerSnickers ( $5299.50 USD )
Seat 2: moose4life ( $11411.66 USD )
moose4life posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
OfficerSnickers posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to moose4life [ Kc Qc ]
moose4life raises [$75.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$300.00 USD]
moose4life calls [$250.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 6c, Qs, Js ]
OfficerSnickers bets [$416.66 USD]
moose4life calls [$416.66 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 7c ]
OfficerSnickers bets [$950.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$2770.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$3582.84 USD]
moose4life calls [$1762.84 USD]
OfficerSnickers shows [6s, 6h ]
moose4life shows [Kc, Qc ]
** Dealing River ** [ 9h ]
OfficerSnickers wins $10598.50 USD from main pot

I mean...wtf!

***** Hand History for Game 3291776174 ***** (Merge)
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Thursday, March 31, 02:07:33 ET 2011
Table Deal It Twice Death Valley (Heads Up) (32917761) (Real Money)
Seat 2 is the button
Seat 1: OfficerSnickers ( $5224.50 USD )
Seat 2: moose4life ( $7754.00 USD )
moose4life posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
OfficerSnickers posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to moose4life [ Ah Kd ]
moose4life raises [$75.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$300.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$800.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers calls [$550.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 7d, Ad, Qd ]
OfficerSnickers checks
moose4life bets [$925.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$4324.50 USD]
moose4life calls [$3399.50 USD]
OfficerSnickers shows [7s, As ]
moose4life shows [Ah, Kd ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 2s ]
** Dealing River ** [ 2c ]
OfficerSnickers wins $10448.50 USD from main pot

cooler?
***** Hand History for Game 3291755465 ***** (Merge)
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Thursday, March 31, 01:51:55 ET 2011
Table Deal It Twice Death Valley (Heads Up) (32917554) (Real Money)
Seat 1 is the button
Seat 1: moose4life ( $15280.33 USD )
Seat 2: OfficerSnickers ( $5124.50 USD )
moose4life posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
OfficerSnickers posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to moose4life [ Ac Qs ]
moose4life raises [$100.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$350.00 USD]
moose4life calls [$275.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 3d, Tc, As ]
OfficerSnickers bets [$500.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$1125.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers calls [$625.00 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 7d ]
OfficerSnickers checks
moose4life bets [$1425.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$3599.50 USD]
moose4life calls [$2174.50 USD]
moose4life shows [Ac, Qs ]
OfficerSnickers shows [Ah, Kc ]
** Dealing River ** [ 9s ]
OfficerSnickers wins $10248.50 USD from main pot
I mean seriously?

***** Hand History for Game 3291755419 ***** (Merge)
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Thursday, March 31, 01:42:39 ET 2011
Table Deal It Twice Death Valley (Heads Up) (32917554) (Real Money)
Seat 1 is the button
Seat 1: moose4life ( $5898.50 USD )
Seat 2: OfficerSnickers ( $4273.50 USD )
moose4life posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
OfficerSnickers posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to moose4life [ Jh Ah ]
moose4life raises [$100.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$350.00 USD]
moose4life calls [$275.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ Ad, As, 8s ]
OfficerSnickers bets [$500.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$1225.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$3373.50 USD]
moose4life calls [$2648.50 USD]
moose4life shows [Jh, Ah ]
OfficerSnickers shows [Js, 7s ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 9h ]
** Dealing River ** [ 5s ]
OfficerSnickers wins $8546.50 USD from main pot

justice?
***** Hand History for Game 32918127168 ***** (Merge)
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Thursday, March 31, 02:33:12 ET 2011
Table Deal It Twice Death Valley (Heads Up) (32918127) (Real Money)
Seat 2 is the button
Seat 1: OfficerSnickers ( $6810.73 USD )
Seat 2: moose4life ( $5856.33 USD )
moose4life posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
OfficerSnickers posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to moose4life [ 3s 4s ]
moose4life raises [$75.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers calls [$50.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 5s, 3h, 4c ]
OfficerSnickers checks
moose4life bets [$150.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$450.00 USD]
moose4life calls [$300.00 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 3c ]
OfficerSnickers bets [$733.33 USD]
moose4life raises [$1800.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$5527.40 USD]
moose4life calls [$3506.33 USD]
OfficerSnickers shows [7h, 6d ]
moose4life shows [3s, 4s ]
** Dealing River ** [ 8s ]
OfficerSnickers wins $954.40 USD
moose4life wins $11712.16 USD from main pot

I mean, one time no 6? DIT

***** Hand History for Game 32918127141 ***** (Merge)
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Thursday, March 31, 02:28:20 ET 2011
Table Deal It Twice Death Valley (Heads Up) (32918127) (Real Money)
Seat 1 is the button
Seat 1: OfficerSnickers ( $7570.31 USD )
Seat 2: moose4life ( $5000.00 USD )
OfficerSnickers posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
moose4life posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to moose4life [ As Kc ]
OfficerSnickers raises [$75.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$300.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$750.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$4650.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers calls [$4150.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers shows [6h, 6s ]
moose4life shows [As, Kc ]
** Dealing Flop ** [ Ks, Ac, 8d ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 3s ]
** Dealing River ** [ 6d ]
moose4life wins $4999.75 USD from main pot
OfficerSnickers wins $4999.75 USD from main pot

***** Hand History for Game 329164648 ***** (Merge)
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Thursday, March 31, 01:39:48 ET 2011
Table Deal It Twice Death Valley (Heads Up) (32916464) (Real Money)
Seat 2 is the button
Seat 1: moose4life ( $5000.00 USD )
Seat 2: OfficerSnickers ( $5449.00 USD )
OfficerSnickers posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
moose4life posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to moose4life [ As Kc ]
OfficerSnickers raises [$75.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$250.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$750.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$1600.00 USD]
OfficerSnickers raises [$4599.00 USD]
moose4life calls [$3100.00 USD]
moose4life shows [As, Kc ]
OfficerSnickers shows [Ah, Qh ]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 9s, 4h, Jh ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 5h ]
** Dealing River ** [ 6c ]
OfficerSnickers wins $449.00 USD
moose4life wins $4999.75 USD from main pot
OfficerSnickers wins $4999.75 USD from main pot

Lost a 5500 pot vs linecrusher homo with AK vs T7 in 4 bet pot, run better.
Lost 2k on the session after flopping a set vs german and playing post flop poker instead of losing every flip. Run better moosey plz.

Polecat

2011-03-27T23:02:00.006-05:00

I get insomnia when I don't drink for a few days. Fun shit. Heard something outside at like 3am and found 3 small skunks feeding in my lawn before they scurried under the house. Busted out the trap tonight and just after dark the fucker's loaded with 7 of em, mother included. Lucky for me the mom's being chill (looks only a year or so) and hasn't sprayed. Unfortunately one didn't get in before the trap door fell. I haven't slept in like 40 hours, and I guess it's a good thing I'm not tired. Probably gonna be a long night trying to get the last pup.

*Hypnofold, hypnocall devil, donk, rofl if you're outta the loop. Donk has to be by far one of the funniest emoticons they've come up with

#WINNING

**EDIT**
About 4 hours of sleep finally weeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Last pup skunk morphed into a slightly larger yet not so tight lipped with the sphincter glands skunk so fuck meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

My house smells putrid, but to all of your guys' dismay, I'm clean.

INF BELOW EV!

2011-03-14T17:58:00.004-05:00

Been running so bad, but wtf can I honestly do? I mean, I wish I could run like Jay, but play like moosey! Dudu, I feel for ya. Kotton, I feel for ya. Jay, I feel for ya. BUT WHO THE FOK FEELS FOR THE MOOSEY!?!?!!?!?

***** Hand History for Game 32167521655 *****
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Friday, March 04, 06:26:07 ET 2011
Table Mt Rushmore (32167521) (Real Money)
Seat 6 is the button
Seat 2: moose4life ( $18209.08 USD )
Seat 6: bagheeeera ( $18425.75 USD )
bagheeeera posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
moose4life posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to moose4life [ As Ac ]
bagheeeera raises [$125.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$500.00 USD]
bagheeeera raises [$1450.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$3900.00 USD]
bagheeeera raises [$16825.75 USD]
moose4life calls [$13759.08 USD]
moose4life shows [As, Ac ]
bagheeeera shows [8s, Kh ]
** Dealing Flop ** [ Qd, 8c, 8h ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 2d ]
** Dealing River ** [ 6d ]
bagheeeera wins $216.67 USD
bagheeeera wins $36417.66 USD from main pot

***** Hand History for Game 3216752116 *****
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Friday, March 04, 03:49:39 ET 2011
Table Mt Rushmore (32167521) (Real Money)
Seat 2 is the button
Seat 2: moose4life ( $5448.00 USD )
Seat 6: bagheeeera ( $10125.00 USD )
moose4life posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
bagheeeera posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to moose4life [ Kh Kd ]
moose4life raises [$125.00 USD]
bagheeeera raises [$450.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$1075.00 USD]
bagheeeera calls [$725.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 6s, Tc, 2h ]
bagheeeera checks
moose4life bets [$1025.00 USD]
bagheeeera raises [$8900.00 USD]
moose4life calls [$3198.00 USD]
moose4life shows [Kh, Kd ]
bagheeeera shows [Ts, 9s ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 9c ]
** Dealing River ** [ Js ]
bagheeeera wins $4677.00 USD
bagheeeera wins $10895.50 USD from main pot

***** Hand History for Game 32147216247 *****
$5000.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Friday, March 04, 05:41:48 ET 2011
Table Las Vegas (32147216) (Real Money)
Seat 3 is the button
Seat 3: moose4life ( $18929.34 USD )
Seat 8: bagheeeera ( $5399.00 USD )
moose4life posts small blind [$25.00 USD].
bagheeeera posts big blind [$50.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to moose4life [ 6s Ks ]
moose4life raises [$75.00 USD]
bagheeeera raises [$350.00 USD]
moose4life calls [$300.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 7s, 6c, Kh ]
bagheeeera bets [$500.00 USD]
moose4life calls [$500.00 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ Jc ]
bagheeeera bets [$1220.00 USD]
moose4life raises [$2525.00 USD]
bagheeeera raises [$3279.00 USD]
moose4life calls [$1974.00 USD]
moose4life shows [6s, Ks ]
bagheeeera shows [Kd, 7d ]
** Dealing River ** [ 7c ]
bagheeeera wins $10797.50 USD from main pot

FML

YuuummmDinger

2011-03-05T23:29:00.004-05:00

I just got so fucking pwned hu one. One of those times when you see your hand pf and it's in the top tier of hands n then see the 'action' flop knowing you're bout to ship 100+bb his way. FUCKING GOLD!!!!!!!!
So much easier to blog when you're losing....

Lets both benefit and hope I don't blog again soon

WHat do you think?

2011-02-18T01:15:00.002-05:00

Uncle moosey here...should i get a prenup if i get married???

I think I am going to become a bumhunter.

2011-02-11T18:42:00.003-05:00

What's the point of not being one? The games never go. The 4 guys who aren't bumhunters are super good so never play each other anyway. Games are ruined.

Turn into a nit. Play till fishes bust. Rinse, repeast. Completely suck at life.

/Annoyed

It's fight night BIIITCH

2011-02-05T13:11:00.006-05:00

I was going to save myself the embarrassment and eventual berating soon to follow, but what fun would that be?

UFC 126 winners will be

Bader

Franklin

annnnnnnndddddd

BELFORT

That fucking showboating pos Silva is going down!

Hopefully Sailor Jerry doesn't kick my ass tonight

Enjoy ladies

EDIT: When it came down to it I picked Jones to ship the bills my way
EDITEDIT: Urban dictionary's definition of horrible is officially KoTToN.

pdc blog

2011-02-02T13:28:00.001-05:00

Occasionally is decent and since I have nothing of value here u go:

Word of the Day: Bumhunter, n.
Posted By : Ray Finkle February 1st, 2011
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A bumhunter is a player who chooses to only face weak competition and refuses to play regulars and skilled opponents. You will find them at heads-up tables sitting out until a random amateur takes the seat, almost clicking to sit in so quickly they break their fingers. They limit themselves strictly to playing games where they have an edge and are void of any sense of competition or accomplishment. Their motivating factor is the financial empowerment they receive from bludgeoning the meek, a real noble existence. They are part of the seedy underbelly of internet poker, amongst hit-and-runners, poker bots, and the various forms of collusion, and are comparable to a car salesman using his business as a front for high-scale cocaine smuggling and prostitution.

Do yourself a favor: don’t tap on the glass. Like a parasite looking for a host, they have no sustainable income if you aren’t there for them to attach to. Stay clear of these syphilis cells and you’ll enjoy a burn-free time on the felt.

Not Wanting To Miss Out

2011-01-23T18:40:00.002-05:00

On everyone posting today so here's my bit:

First and foremost, Kotton i s a terrible poster and Jay needs to take the keys away from him unless it's about snowmen fucking. In regard to complaints of everyone bitching all the time, I'm running pretty damn good and certainly am not complaining. Since if you read this I have probably been outplaying and running great against you, I thank you.

I basically took the vast majority of 2010 off and drank a lot but not in an awesome sexy fashion, more just out of habit and boredom. Did win one of the small USCOOP events since Dadu put me in since I was on anyways and don't play Stars.

2011 while I doubt I'll return to this blog I'm definitely back to playing and trying to re-tune up my game. Going well though still expect much better from myself. That will suck for you guys so I apologize.

Unless Jay & I get into some ridiculous prop bet or I do something awesome like win a bracelet I doubt I'll be posting but those sick of people crying about poker should really ask Jay to post his other thoughts since he's actually entertaining away from the tables.

Here I am

2011-01-23T14:30:00.002-05:00

There I am

Where I am

Sam I am

Spam I am

Eatling a clam I am

Not giving a damn I am

Doing anal with Pam I am

Even doing it on cam I am

Everyone watching me give the bam I am

I ram on the cam I am

Really thought there were more words that rhymed with Damn I am

Read the paragraph below outloud, it will blow your mind

Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch. Whine whine whine whine whine. Cry cry cry cry cry. Sphincter sphincter sphincter sphincter sphincter. Turantula turantula turantula turantula turantula. Skelaton sketlaton skelaton skelaton skelaton skelaton. Volcano volcano volcano volcano volcano. Jungle gym Jungle gym jungle gym jungle gym jungle gym. Carpet carpet carpet carpet carpet. Carp carp carp carp carp. Car car car car car. If if if if if. You you you you you. Just just just just just. Did did did did did. That that that that that. You're you're you're you're. Fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking. More more more more more. Retarded retarded retarded retarded retarded. Than me than me than me than me than me for typing this

Are you ready to laugh?

2011-01-23T02:56:00.004-05:00

/speechless

bleh

2011-01-21T23:47:00.003-05:00

8th in the 2750 gtd...got some dumbass to stick most of his stack in with K8o vs AA and he runs well...triple up thru a few run goods b2b and ship queens into AJ that binks the A. Ran in top 14 the whole way and 2nd in chips into the FT. Good times

Something is wrong - I am broken.

2011-01-21T17:49:00.004-05:00

Everytime I sit down to play, I just give money away. This has been going on all month.

I am not focusing and spewing and tilting. And showing a lack of interest.

I either need to start smoking weed or taking aderool or something.

My mind is all over the place. of course I'm dealing with a million different issues that can cost me a huge amount of money.

Played all day with a non working hand history. Super smart. Also talked on phone with a bunch of reps while 5 tabling, 4 HU vs 3 diff opponents. Lost like 14k like an idiot. Super annoyed.

Also pretty hard to get action. Random donks will hit n run me. I'm losing to random bad and mediocre regs. The good regs won't play me. The super good regs will play me, but I don't feel like playing world class players when I'm playing like garbage.

Something awful is going on with me.

Been playing like dudu.

2011-01-19T03:25:00.003-05:00

Pun intended.

Don't know why. Probably cause I'm burnt out and don't want to play...but games are so good.

Prob going to Borgata for winter open.

Need new laptop.

JAY OUT

nlo

2011-01-17T01:37:00.004-05:00

might be my new fav game

gl w/ the vices Jim n Jay

It's been in the mid 70's here, hard to complain

Will forever stop drinking.

2011-01-16T10:37:00.001-05:00

I know I keep saying this....but one day I will.

Drunk jay picks fights with people for no reason and embarassed himself.

Past 5 days...

2011-01-10T13:22:00.002-05:00

Its been about 5 days since I won my 10k at mega millz, and I have played about 20-60 min each day for the past 4 days. Made 5k first day, 5k the next, 7k the next, and today might be the first of my losing days, thanks to missing the sickest PLO draw ever vs the incredibly awful...thesnowissnowing. Well, maybe I will make it up...maybe not...

I still H8 mtts

2011-01-09T22:11:00.003-05:00

I fucking hate them with a passion. How fucking hard is it to beat a field 80% less than the norm on the big sites? IDK it's been so fucking long I have no fucking clue wtf I'm doing anymore. FUUUUUUUUCCCCCKkkkkkkkkk

umm yeah, that's a smidge better

Some things never change

2011-01-09T10:43:00.002-05:00

So I've been really sick this whole week. Like to the point where I was self medicating with Honey Pepper vodka at 11am. Ya. Sick as a dog.

And I stayed away from playing poker while being sick for the entire week.....actually did something positive by working on my game AWAY from the tables. I am really really good when I can see everyones hole cards, by the way.

Anyway, some here comes sunday and I got a fever and I'm bored and I'm sick of looking at hand histories...so I wanna play and I go and I unimaginably play like complete crap...cause I'm sick and I'm bored and I wanna gamble...bla bla bla bla. And I'm messing around with some theoretical plays and bet sizings I came up with while drunk.

Blah blah blah blah some more. Long story short, played very poorly, now stuck 5k.

Anybody notice this is a familiar song I like to sing?

I kind of don't care right now. I'm sure I'll be super mad about it later and furious with myself.

What else.

Uhm. New years was typical old school jay. Make a fool out of myself, insult people, tell people I find their girlfriends attractive. Get ridiculously drunk. Old habits die heard. Someone's going to kill me one day.

Dudu has been MIA for a while. He's in what I like to call the "leave me alone, I hate the world" mode. It's the mode I'm in when I don't log on for months or answer my phone. He's probably in rehab for his oxy addiction...or at least I hope he is.

Hopefully we get him back soon...this blog just isn't the same without him. <3

Oh! We have some new posters. Hopefully they don't suck. But I'm sure they will since for some reason we only let people on here who are absolutely terrible. Go figure.

One day we will get a real site...one day...where everyone can join and post and have their own blog and whatever else. Yes yes one day. 2014 I think I said?

DaJay OUT

I won without playing poker....

2011-01-05T20:11:00.003-05:00

Well, what can I say, I figured out how to win in poker...Don't PLAY IT! Instead buy $105 worth of mega million tickets, and hit 4 of 5 numbers and the megaball and scoop 10k. Yeah, that's how moosey rolls... One number off from hitting 1/3rd of the $355 million jackpot ( two fish in Idaha and Washington won it). I guess I deserved this for only applying half of the Mega Millions Easy Win Concept (Registered trademark of Moosey Inc). This is where you simply have to be trailer trash to win a large jackpot. So my friend and I dressed up as bums to buy tickets, I put on a t-shirt that said "Welcome to the gunshow" with two arrows pointing at my arms, sweatpants, old shoes, and a hat. I was missing the key ingredient, live in east bumblefok America in order to win. Hey dudu, maybe you should just play it next time and dress normal...

perpetually inversed

2011-01-04T00:25:00.005-05:00

Honestly can't remember the last time I had a winning session.

Can't afford to take any more breaks

not starting off so hot.

anybody have a tissue?

edit: took the advice for mtts and fired up the 2750 gtd...3rd orbit guy Limp/jams 125 bb utg gloating the mighty KQs (I had AQ and woulda held but uh w.e)....he open shoves like 5 more times before I snap him with kings...can't fade the A5o for a 75 bb open shove utg+1 and the good ole Nice Hand remark.

Gut said you're losing this as I call

Gut says you're going to lose everything

Gut says you're fucked

Where can one purchase a new one of these? One that's filled with joy when he sees a big hand and a fucking spaztard open shove into it. It must have some price. Some price.

....3500 r/a went abt the same with some one going rr w/ 45s having me as pfr utg

I hope this chainsaw carving shit works bc I refuse to do chemistry for 12$/hr and this poker thing is meh

Flatlander

2010-12-30T20:01:00.003-05:00

An egregious term used by local mountain folk to describe the myriad of idiotic drivers attempting to migrate from the valleys below to and through a small tourist town 7800 feet up in the San Bernardino forest called Big Bear.

Tues 28th: 55 degrees and snow melting

Wed 29th: 21 degrees 8 inches of snow dropped shaaabang!

Thur 30th: 45 degrees and sunny

Cali is awesome!

The drivers are even better. I bitched and moaned already about the trip up, and now it's time to rant about the trip down.

The road down/up is a highway. 55 mighty miles per hour. Granted we're going down/up a mtn, but there are courtesy signs to let you know what's up.

I wait till noon today so that the ice has had sufficient time to melt on the roads. The road has some residual H2O and dirt. Nothing more. Not a speck of ice or snow.

These fucking flatlanders and their obnoxious tire rings aka chains with max speeds of a whopping 30 mph are everywhere. Like a fucking ice cream cone dropped on an ant hill. Swarming. Swerving. Puttsing down the fucking mtn. Sometimes we got up tooooooo....wait for iiiiit....36 MILES PER HOUR.

I was fucking going insane. Two lane highway wrapping around mtn sides couldn't hold me back as I red lined my beast in 2nd gear around about 30 cars. A couple close adrenaline pumpers but that's usually a given.

And then we stop. A good solid 13 minutes just fucking sitting there because some rich pos driving a beamer can't stay on the fucking highway and needs a tow.

Two lane highway.

Tow truck.

Rich beamer fuckstick. adfskglnalksngfvklsdfngvlknw rlk

It was an extra hour and half drive. Thank you. Please come back to my little town again with your 3500$ snowboarding getup as you ride the bunny slopes all day or get blasted with powder as I shred past ur kooky ass posted up in the middle of the run.

Now to more enlightening stuff. I wanted to post up there, but the service I steal blows and the mac won't recognize my phone blah blah blah

Quick synopsis of Wednesday.

My lil bro wanted to learn how to board, so we hit the slopes during the storm. Powder everywhere and minimal flatlanders because they can't crawl up the mtn when it's snowing. It really is absurd to watch these people drive in snow.

Anyways, epic day with no complaints. I was warm from the midsection up but skipped the longjohns to my lower half's dismay. My scrotum was shrived worse than a prune that's been sunbaked in the Mojave desert, testicles were tickling the esophagus, 3 inch ice crystals in the shape of Spartan spears dangled precariously off my ass hairs and couldn't see a 100 feet in front of me.

I was grinning ear to ear like a 12 year old on Marti Gras who just laid his orbs on a firm set of double D's wobbling to and fro so close he could reach out and pinch those perky nips.

It was a fucking blast!

I have a cabin on a hill up there with one old hag who is cop happy and hates anything remotely entertaining or fun in life. The cops were called no less that 4 times on me for the following reasons.

Kneeboarding up/down the hill while getting towed by a quad.

Tubing that same hill with powder dusting the face and spinning in uncontrollable circles.

Building snow porn in the front yard.

All neighbors were laughing, taking pics etc. Shit, even the first cop was getting a kick out of it. He rolled up n said there was a complaint about some snowmen and that we'd have to tear it down if another call came in. Before he left though he busted out the phone for some quick snapshots. Next year the street has agreed to collaborate and erect snowporn in every yard. Old hag's gonna shit a brick lolz

Enjoy the pics

Welcome aboard moosenator. Epic 1st post as ecpected.

Peace the fuck out

First Post

2010-12-30T11:01:00.003-05:00

First entry will be me crying...

Seat 6 is the button
Seat 1: Decent BumHunter ( $25562.82 USD )
Seat 2: DaMoose ( $20000.00 USD )
Seat 3: Villian ( $20000.00 USD )
Seat 4: DaJay ( $36901.00 USD )
Seat 5: OUTDOORSMAN ( $81010.34 USD )
Seat 6: Very bad bumhunting reg ( $16843.00 USD )
Seat 8: BumhuntingFish ( $10750.00 USD )
BumhuntingFish posts small blind [$50.00 USD].
Decent BumHunter posts big blind [$100.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to DaJay [ 8d Ts ]
Da moose raises [$300.00 USD]
Villian raises [$1900.00 USD]
Da Jay folds
OUTDOORSMAN folds
Very bad bumhunting reg folds
BumhuntingFish folds
Decent BumHunter folds
DaMoose raises [$4500.00 USD]
Villian raises [$18100.00 USD]
DaMoose calls [$15200.00 USD]
Da Moose shows [Ac, Ah ]
Villian shows [5d, 9d ]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 2h, 8c, 4h ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 3d ]
** Dealing River ** [ As ]
Villian wins $40147.00 USD from main pot

FML,

I will not to try and cry on this blog, but it is inevitable that it will happen.

Edit by Jay: EVERYBODYS WELCOME DA MOOSE. HE is a bad human. You probably already know him.

Happy Holidays

2010-12-29T05:32:00.004-05:00

In the spirit of the holidays, I am offering a gift (and I use that term veeeeery loosely) for one of our readers or contributors.

If you send me a video of no more than 20 minutes of poker play, I will watch it and reply to you with my thoughts about the hands played. It doesn't have to be your video. I'll review your friends, mothers, grandmothers, sisters boyfriends uncles play, if this is what you send me.

I suggest that you send a hold'em cash game video in a 6max or heads up format, since that is where my advice would be most useful. I'll critique 9handed, sit n go or tournament play too, but I do not recommend it.

Do not send OMAHA, Razz, Stud, pineapple, crazy jim, or anythign of this nature. You may, however, send 2-7 or badugi.

I know this is kind of a late thing so I'll take submissions up until the 12 of Jan. If two or more people send videos....and I highly doubt this will happen, I will randomly choose which video I review. Maybe Dudu will review the other one. If this happenes, I take no responsibility for the damage his terrible advice may have on your game nor the impact of his Oklahoma cowboy accent on your ears.

Oh, actually, if you play razz or stud8, you can send in your video too. I will have 3up comment on it since he is pretty much a Razz/stud8 god.

Send video links to: fcukmoney at gmail

J

P.s. All of a sudden, this blog has gotten very amusing.

I cant wait for this year to be over.

2010-12-27T09:38:00.003-05:00

Ran so so bad for the last 6 months. Not that it would matter if the year ends since its 1 long session, but a fish can dream..can't he?

Today was a stupid day. I'm still playing as I type this but at the moment i am down 10k, with an adjusted ev of +2k. Swell. Though, this is not really indictive of the worst:

Cards are coming out so incredibly ugly for me in the non all in pots.

And I spewed a bunch

And I broke another mouse.

I should be more mad than I currently am. I've calmed down. I was steaming hard. It's kind of lame though that fish keep beating me and giving it away. Really, it is.

just so frustrated. I've seen so many big pairs and they've never seen a flop without an ace on board. So many walks in the BB. So many lam shortstcks shoving over. So frustrating.

At one point was losing every pot. Would just get it in and lose. AK vs AK. I proudly think "now give him the flush" cause i know it's coming and sue enough bink bink. Then they shove every 6 hands and I call and fist pump with queens...into kings. Blah blah blah. Non stop. Keep it coming. I love pain and misery.

Top it all off, while I run bad vs fish and random regs and bumhunters...I run well vs my friends and dent their rolls. Not that I'm complaining about that too much, just lame I abuse my buddies instead of the scum of the universe.

DEATH TO ALL TRAINING SITES AND GAME SELECTION ADVOCATES

2010-12-26T10:53:00.004-05:00

Complete fish says the following:

Fish> you have to much of an edge on me
Fish> gl

Not a bumhunter. Not a shortstacker. Not some random semi pro. These words were typed by a complete fish. May all training sites die. It's not that these losers are going to teach him to play well, it's that they're going to teach him not to play.

Remember kids, the key to victory is game selection! I can't wait till the day comes when no one plays anyone. I don't care. I'll survive, but the bumhunters won't.

People are idiots.

But good thing sites are starting to see the light...only about 2 years to late. I wonder how long it will take them to implement verything I said 2 years ago. Table caps, sit out restrictions, longer buyin wiping periods.

Maybe another 2 years when the games are completely dead? Maybe. Maybe in 4?

Maybe in 10? Who cares it's coming eventually right? Do you think I want to be 35 years old grinding out 10-20 vs 18 year olds all day? Why the hell do people mess with basic free market principals? Protecting the masses only leads to mediocrity and unhappyness.

ATTN KoTTon

2010-12-23T21:14:00.003-05:00

No more of these penny stakes hands or I'm revoking your posting privledges.

Feel free to whine in an entertaining manner but stop with this crap.

Also Moose is a terrible person.

it was pretty fucking stupid

2010-12-21T19:09:00.003-05:00

Left at 10:30p for what shoulda been a 3 hr trip tops. I beat the snow. I couldn't fade the mudslides and boulders that could easily throw u off the side of the mtn. Turns out the woman doesn't fancy camping out in the truck with frigid weather and rain pelting the truck for 6 hrs till sunrise. Made three different attempts to ascend the mtn from various sides and detours until bout 11am when the original highway we were going for opened up. Was only an extra 114 miles and 10 hrs stuck in a cramped ass truck with the girly. Good times ladies, good times.

A new low has been reached in the scum that is the bumhunter!

2010-12-21T03:34:00.007-05:00

So i'm sitting at 10-20 6max by myself minding my own business when a bumhunting retard shows up and sits with me. This is a very strange occurance because for the most part these people avoid me like dudu avoids contact with females.

Anyway so I don't have autopost on and get sat out. Before posting, I specifically type into the chat box "if you're going to hit n run i'd rather not play". Okay, kind of a dumb request..if a guy is going to hit n run he's going to do it anyway, right? Well, this guy multitables 6max so he may have just wanted to start a game...and usually if no one comes they sit out (unless they are down money).

Anyway, so I think I make it perfectly clear that I wanted to play long or not at all. I mean if he told me he just wanted to try to start a game I'd have gladly just given him the table. So I wait a minutes or so to make sure he read what I wrote...he doesn't respond...so I sit in assuming he wants to play. And we start...he gets down 25bb and reloads...we contnue for abotu 30 hands...as soon as he wins a 40bb pot he SNAP SITS OUT! Like SNAP!

Now, it's not like he doesn't know me or how I play. He's been playing with me for months. And it's not like he's quiting because he was playing on 3 of my other tables. So why on earth would someone do this?

To be a scumbag, thats why. These people are the lowest life forms known to man. They just do things specifically to annoy others without any sort of benefit. They're like the kind of people who walk around scratching other people's cars just for the hell of it.

There is nothing more I despise than people like this. Nothing. I would not be against people like this becoming terminally ill with painful diseases. I really wouldn't. They add absolutely nothing to the world.

On the one hand, you might have someone who does something to gain something or as a retaliation for something you did. That's fine. These people need to exist. There's a method to their madness. But then you have these vermin who just do nasty things jus because...even if you specifically ask them not to do them and they gain nothing by doing them.

I've never understood this. I just don't get it. Why? Why would you do something like this?

I totally understand the owner of a tire shop who litters some corner with nails to drive up business. I get it. I do. But what does the homeless guy scratching peoples cars in a parking lot have to gain? It's absurd.

And these people are ABUNDENT in the poker world. Just abundent. Just everywhere. I wish someone, somewhere would seriously hurt people like this. Maybe break their legs in such a way that they are in a wheelchair for the rest of their lives. That seems like a fitting punishment...at the very least.

J

P.s. I'm really really really sorry I let Kotton on here. But we need the content. And yes I know we suck and he's not helping. Fully aware thank you very much.

omw north

2010-12-21T00:58:00.002-05:00

I can be stupid, and this is probably pretty fucking stupid. Mobbing 220 miles north to my cabin (it's 11pm) in big bear (8000 miles higher in elevation and colder than my beloved dago) in the midst of the biggest storm in years dumping more rain in the past two days than predicted for the entire month in hopes I beat the snow. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Prob not blogging unless something noteworthy happens. WTF noteworthy happens at ssnl? I'm sure there will be something if not some gay pictorial blog at the min.

Merry fucking Christmas u hobags

Craigslist rant

2010-12-19T14:02:00.003-05:00

Don't get me wrong, this place is hoard of fascinating information and artifacts. The rants and raves section here is infamous for it smut smattered posts in submissive poses and don't even get me started on the free section. I mean seriously, you can furnish your whole fucking house. Sometimes it can be really nice shit since I live near a bunch of rich snobs (La Jolla) who always keep up with the latest trends.

On the flip side, selling something can be a nightmare. Being in San Diego, I'm somewhat close to that thing we call a border. These poor little brown people cross into my country and the fuck if I can figure out how they know about craigslist, let alone internet access. My gpa is having me clear his shit out, so I've been having my fair share of craigslist ron de vous. My fucking ads are very clear, concise and can't be anymore str8 to the pt. I say don't call me haggling a price because it's already at the lowest I'll take. These fucking beaners have the nerve to call without being able to formulate a complete sentence with offers no where near what it's listed at. After denying their request, three separate numbers, three different beans who can't speak, three different ways of me saying fuck off you're not getting it cheaper. "Ahh, u take two hunda dollas fo da laaayyyytheeee?" Fuck off! Go back to your fucking country where you barter for half assed, lead infested garbage and leave me the fuck alone.

On the verge of glory!

2010-12-13T13:12:00.003-05:00

Stay tuned for more details!

Kotton,

What a terrible prediction. Koshchek had about as much chance of winning as I have of following the rules I set for myself.

In fact, I was so sure he was going to get raped, I passed up getting 5:1 on him. Dudu has a better shot of getting laid in vegas without paying for it.

fight recap

2010-12-12T12:03:00.002-05:00

I was wrong, and the old lady is "cleaning" the kitchen which actually sounds like someone doing a demo so apparently I got too drunk. Blinds were raked open, drawers slamming and the to-do list is growing by the second. Hooray Sailor Jerry

Fight Night Biatch

2010-12-11T22:15:00.003-05:00

Predictions:

Koscheck knocks out George 1st round maybe 2nd tops

Thiago and whoever the fck this black fool is will bang to no other and should be sick

too drunk to remember the rest

poker:

haven't played in quite some time; money is stuck on two sites

hooray month to month living!

-ssnl slave4life

Any day I break even

2010-12-04T05:41:00.000-05:00

is a winning day.

I will never again play heads up limit holdem against anyone who isn't a total fish as long as I live.

2010-12-03T13:00:00.003-05:00

If I do, I will donate Ten Thousand dollars to feminists.

Hmm.

2010-12-01T03:52:00.001-05:00

When the gods of variance see fit, in all of their infinite wisdom, to pull me out of this ice cube and light me on fire, I will torch the skys!

ATTN KoTTon

2010-11-25T06:01:00.002-05:00

Hey,

If you'd like to post here, leave your e-mail address and I will send you an invite. God knows, you will be most welcome since not only do we totally suck, but we don't even post our total sucking.

Jay

P.s. I know were supposed to have a real site...but well...I'm slow. No one else cares. We suck. Did I mention we suck?

Ok, Big Update

2010-10-29T10:44:00.002-05:00

Ok so I have been winning at poker, been doing very well (except at 10-20 on PDC, I swear it is my doom level, I probably play bad at it, but I run rancid there too) I am stuck like 70k at 10-20 with my all in EV being set at -18k

I have been taking pain killers since June which then was for a tooth I had, and the tooth gets bad every now and then so I do need the pain killers, but I got hung up into Oxycontins. This was bad, they are like 20-25$ a pill for 30mg and I was eating like 4-5 a day for a couple months.

Given I won a ton of money, but now I am physically dependent upon these pills. It is a psychological addiction too which makes it worse, but I am 100% sure I am not under the psychological stuff. Basically when I don't have these pills my body hurts, I can not get comfortable, I get hot then cold, I can't sleep, sometimes diahrea, its basically like having a bad cold/soft flu with major body aches.

So I am weening myself off these cold turkey now. And it sucks, I can barely play poker right now. Sitting at a desk is just unbearable, so I figure this will be a couple week thing. Except for I have nothing to do so I will probably play and play poorly. I think I found some "methadone" like stuff (what these clinics give you to come off of OC/Heroin) but I will never go to a clinic. Fuck rehab.

So also the other day I played poker coked out (yes, this is just one giant drug post isn't it?) Let me just say for the record, before June this year I had done zero drugs (with exception of getting too drunk and agreeing to smoke pot like 3 times maybe) in like 3 years or longer. I have long since been addicted to marijuana (obv not physical dependence but this is where I started and smoking was a religion, as it probably is with tons of people around the age I was) then Meth, I was stuck on meth for over a year, and was the hardest stuff to kick. Literally couldn't find the energy to stay awake for more than 6 hours a day for a month when I quit. Then coke, this was not hard to quit as it was so expensive it was just force quit, but that run lasted probably a year or so and was the beginning of my poker like 5 years ago. Then ecstacy, this lasted proabbly 3 years of rolling at some points every day then every weekend night (thurs-sat maybe sunday) then tapered off and I got bored of it, obviously no addictions here just loved doing it and I am a degen at everything I do. Then alcohol! People that get addicted to alcohol are tough son of a bitches. I don't know how you could drink so so much that your body gets dependent on it, but you see cases of it sometimes on tv.

So basically in June, I started back up in a mini drug phase. With the pills, the Coke was a fluke, it was just at my house when I got back from my trip, I didn't buy it but I had a gram or so to myself (when I got this baggy I thought there was like 3 lines in it, it had been like 4 or 5 years since I had done coke and I forgot how much was what when it was in a bag) Well, I did prob 5 or 6 lines and this bag was not going down. So I literally smoke Parliament cigarettes (if you have never seen one, they have a recessed filter that was made for cocaine back in the 80s or late 70s) so I was just plugging the butt end full and I had coke for probably 10 hours or so. Such nasty stuff. Just smells like chemical when you snort it, then burns your throat unnaturally it seems.

Back to the mini drug phase that started in June. Previous to this "era" I had been breaking even/losing at poker. When I won the HPT event last year, I had a good month following, then I hit a brick wall. I lost like 40k to Jerry running bad, I lost like another 40 spread out. I went to Australia and drank my way to a near 50k loss. I came back and lost another 40-50 to another player who EVERYONE beat the bajeebas out of but me, I lost like 44k to him at 5-10 PLO, I tilted and ran awful obviously. I lost another 60-80 in the following 2 months. So I go on this slide of like 150-175k all in all in 6 months. I will give you my online tracking for each month.

November of 09 - I lost 41k and average losing 750 an hour.
December 09 - I lost 5k at -100 an hour
January 10 - I won 193$ 325 hands but I was in australia and lost like 15-20 playing from hotel thats not in my HEM (also need to tack this on to my Australia losses, I guess that trip was 60-65 in losses)
February 10- I made 11k at 400 an hour, barely played.
March I made 24k at 520 an hour, barely played
April I lost 23k at -220 an hour, played over 100 hours!
May I won 17k at 450 an hour.

June I was gone a lot but the tail end when I got back from the series, I was taking pain killers so check this out.

June, played for like 7 days - made 13k at 400 an hour
July made 25k at 225 an hour
August made 40k at 300 an hour
September made 38k at 400 an hour
October, I have barely played but have made 13k and tilted a bit.

Now, also to consider I was losing money on FTP and PS pre June, and since I have made like 60k on PS, I have made 50k on the everleaf network. Also have been playing better live.

Literally was not making any money all in all pre pills and I am up around 200k since taking them in a matter of 4 months or so.

So now I am trying to come off of them and see if I can continue playing half decent. I have still tilted off a lot of money on the pills, but I can play such long hours due to being comfortable at the desk. I am playing literally 2.5-3x as much each month. I am playing better, even though I am still one of the worst tilt monkeys at the stakes I play. I really do think I tilt worse than anyone I have ever seen at 5-10 or bigger stakes. I open ship hands when I am on tilt, not good hands either. I will 4 or 5b get it in with any 2, sometimes even call off to 4 or 5b ships with any 2 that I am getting crazy with. It is awful, I should probably find a psychiatrist for this?

So, I was playing about a week ago, at 10-20 and I go on tilt, and I lose like 10-12k in about 30 minutes, I played a couple hands bad, got unlucky in a couple, and tilted in some. So I get pissed off. I am online and I have one friend who lives near me (but doesn't play poker) who gets on aim and talks to me a bit, I send him a message saying "I feel like driving to one of the 4 corners of the US you wanna go?) (this would be a virtually free trip for him, I said I would pay for gas and hotels, and I ended up buying a couple bomb dinners) So he said yes, and within 1 hour I was headed to Maine.

This is how bad my tilt is. This was the day I snapped though. 3500 miles I drove in 6 days. Was kind of nice actually, except for smoking a cig every 40 minutes while being in the car. I met up with THE moose4life and went to Atlantic City with him, where I owned him in a 6bet pot with J3o (he like 6b jammed PF with KK and I SNAP off 1k at 1-2, like I SNAP call so fast when he jams and insta table my cards aggressively as if I had the nuts, then board runs 9 8 3 J X and I virtually have the nuts. But I was still stuck like 3k at the 1-2 table I was literally jamming every hand for an hour or so for 100$ per push and I would win a few thne lose it all back trying to 3barrell or jamming if I had 200 or less.

Then I went to Maine, and I want to go back, it was sick. I think the town was one of the coolest places I have ever been (Portland Maine) and I will go back one day. The nightlife seemed really cool even though there was nothing majorly big. There were several good looking women.

Then drove to Niagara Falls, it was tight, the Falls were, but Canadians turned that area into a fucking carnival otherwise. Spookhouses, arcades, dumb... dumb... dumb...

Then headed home, had covered 3540 miles in 6 days and 7 hours. Touched 14 states and Canada.

Now, all I have to do is drive to the north west when I am on tilt. Cover South Dakota, North Dakota, Montana, Wyoming, Oregon, Washington and Idaho, and I have been in a car in the lower 48, and Hawaii and I will hit Alaska one day, but I won't be driving there.

Thats all I have! I share with you my drug problems and poker problems! What do I do? Keep eating pills or go sober! Coming down is hard, and I got a text during this to get some loritabs (softer pain killer) these will help me come down and I have quit loritabs before with no problem, but these OCs are the devil and I urge anyone who reads this to never touch them. 2 months and I literally hurt when I don't have them... I would hate to have been doing these for a year or longer then tried to quit.

As always, will try to post more often! But I won't!

Ok, Tomorrow

2010-10-29T00:46:00.003-05:00

When I wake up, I am posting a long long post.

It will be deep, it will be well done.

I think

Also, I post this saying Tomorrow, but when anyone reads this, both posts will be here. so this was a waste of time, but I already typed it so it stays.

This is what poker has become:

2010-10-07T11:33:00.003-05:00

I am on such sick tilt right now. I have ben hit n run 6 or 7 different times. The same damn pattern. They win a buy in ad snap leave. Jesus christ Everyone. Regs, fish, semi regs, bum hunters, doesn't matter. The only people who actually stay and play are the really really good players...which I don't mind...but I don't ALWAYS want to be playing super tough opponents. All I get is hit n run. Especially on FTP. It'sm sick. win a buyin leave, win a buyin leave, win a flip leave, suckout leave. leave leave leave. and there are no games to continue. I sit for 12 hours waiting. Until one of these scumballs comes and gets stuck so they dont leave.

CHRIST.

Good news, bad news, worse news

2010-10-04T07:00:00.002-05:00

Good news: We registered a domain name! Expect as site somewhere around...2014!

Bad news: Everytime I open PDC it makes me want to vomit...people are beating up my german. Don't know if I'll play him again, though.

Worse news: I've finally had enough of the bumhunters. It seems I am the only one who has cared for so long...so now I just don't care anymore. Or rather I am going to go in the opposite direction. I am going to sit at as many tables as I want of whatever heads up games I want and I'm going to never continue playing a 6max game unless there is a total fish sitting...and if there isn't and I stack a regular, I'm just going to leave. Furthermore if there is a fish running around, I am going to block everyone's heads up table and try my hardest to make sure the fish comes to me. Oh and if they get upset and come to play me heads up, I am just going to play my button and leave.

That's right, I am going to take the tactics of the asshole scum of the poker universe, the bumhunters, multiply them by 5 and give them a taste of their own medicine.

I am so sick of not getting any fish because of the 40 tables open filled with 10 of the worst players in poker history who sit there and think they are entitled to do as they please without regard for anyone or anything around them.

This does not make me happy.

In other news, I've been playing tough, semi tough, 1k, 2k games on ftp. Meh

Well

2010-09-24T19:46:00.002-05:00

Small post, and Kotton, I won't fuck with the biza.

So last night Israeli comes and catches me before I go to bed, at 10-20 dumps me 8-9k gets tilted, comes to my 25-50 dumps two buyins on 2 sick hands in 11 hands played :/ I ran good.

SO I jump to 50-100 hoping he jumps again, no Israeli showing up, say oh well about to go to bed, see crabbitrun playing him at 100-200 and crabbit goes on to win approx 250k... I feel like shit because I didn't sit 100-200 too, I am a pussy.

The 33k I won feels so miniscule now. But still a good night I guess.... But it should have been so much better!

See I posted more than 20 words, good for me!

I will be

2010-09-23T17:23:00.003-05:00

Full of ambition soon, this blog is not dead! I promise!

I just need some ambition!

WHY CANT I RUN HOT WHEN THE STAKES MATTER?

2010-09-16T01:32:00.002-05:00

I'll let the picture do the talking. I'm dead inside.

Can't do anything right.

2010-09-09T05:29:00.003-05:00

Playing a bit better, not great but better.

Played some 25-50, won

Played some 10-20, lost

Overall day: lost like 3k.

Running terrible. Not so much suckouts (although that too) but spots. Flopped K high flush and mucked it cause playing imbeciles that run good but are terrible otherwise. Mighta called off like 3-4k in questionable spots but I don't think I did anything too terrible. Had one good situation entire time where I had some idiot nutted and held. Thats about it.

Nothing more to add, just some whining. I know, boring. Sorry.

Remembering important and wise concepts from the great Tri Nguyen.

2010-08-30T07:38:00.002-05:00

"The only hands the nit balances in his hand range are
the nuts, the second nuts, and the thjird nuts."

Poker

2010-08-28T23:21:00.001-05:00

-47K this week,.

20k tilt, 27k running absolutely HORRENDOUS.

Not in Godmode

2010-08-28T08:32:00.001-05:00

Playing poker. Very rusty. Playing bad

-20k since return. Me dies.

I Am In God Mode!

2010-08-14T15:43:00.003-05:00

And I am too lazy to post and tell about it...

I am up almost 6 figures since Vegas though (June 23rd)

But still down a bit for the year!

One day, when Jay comes back playing, this blog will return... I have nothing to blog about without Jays nonsense in the background.

A brief update

2010-07-10T16:03:00.002-05:00

I've been busy enjoying life.

Dudu and moose left out like literally all the best parts.

Cot gambling
Basketball prop bets
Random hands we played
Angle shooting angle shooters

And so much more...

DUdu is a terrible wingman. He was shocked when I told some chick to shut up.

Rebuttle

2010-07-07T01:58:00.002-05:00

Ok, ok, I got scammed in a rub'n'tug joint... but I had found a legit one, and my cute cab driver (yea this sounds like a bogus lie, but literally I had a cute cab driver! I didn't know they existed, given I was intoxicated) talked me into a closer one.

The girl I put into a headlock, I had that wrapped up, then I proceeded to keep drinking for like 12 hours straight, and I don't remember the last 2 hours, I remember being golden then I woke up alone, and cursed my heavy drinking ways.

Ok, so the Vegas trip, Jay seriously couldn't stay awake for more than 10-12 hours at a time, he would be in bed by 9 PM crying cause he was exhausted from doing absolutely nothing all day.

Jay was the only winner of the 3 of us that went.

We got a suite at the Venetian, and it was a crock of shit. Same as the normal rooms but bigger, our bathroom smelled like shit, which we found out a lot of the hotel residence said the same so it was their plumbing not mooses foul bowel.

So I lose 3 pots at 5-10 at the Venetian for 12-15k, and win one pot near 10k.... One was kind of my fault, but was super weird.

I didn't cash a holdem tourney, except for a 200$ turbo at Caesars Palace which I only played for a last longer bet to see who has to wear a certain outfit at the WSOP event the next day. I lost the last longer since I rebought 7 times, I final tabled got 8th for a profit of - $1000, I rock.

I chopped a 500$ Horse tourney at the Venetian (which I only played since I busted the 2k event there that day, and I was tilted from not doing well at anything I had done the whole time, and I was bored of holdem) and picked up 18k and was almost even on the trip!

So I played a 1500$ horse at the series, I get 18th out of 830, I got pretty unlucky in 3 or 4 pots at the end, and couldn't hang on... oh well, picked up 7k for that, still not even, since as the last update to this blog states, I was spewing money on blackjack the whole trip, I probably lost like 10-12k on table games.

So I played the 3k horse event, made day 2, didn't go too well for day 2, bubbled, then rebooked my flight to get the fock out of Vegas.

I lost on the trip, shouldve won, but I have a gambling/drinking problem.

All I feel to update for now, no great stories because Jay was asleep most the time or when we did go out he was belligerant drunk trying to pick fights with guys for no reason so I elected to go to sleep that night.

Just had the following sent to me by e-mail

2010-06-28T14:56:00.002-05:00

This is an account of a night out with dudu, written by moose4life. It is posted here exactly the way it was sent to me, without any edits or changes of any kind.

I had absolutely NOTHING to do with the following:

"Dudu's- big adventure! All night dudu talked about getting a fricken rub and tug from an asian massage parlor.
Obviously being a savy and smart person...dudu google searches for good "rub and tug" joints on the strip.
The soon to be wasted dudu found someones post where they went to find a "good time" at one of these places,
but essentially they got placed in an awkward situation with nothing more than a set of blue balls and short 500+ dollars.
Well, after after dudu either busted the tournament---or got set over set in a 15k pot, dudu was on his quest.
Mission one: Bring jay along for safety and comfort in an embarrassing and drunken ordeal. Jay's Status- "Lets go
find hookers!!!" Jay soon fell asleep due to his vitamin depletion at about 7 pm. Objective- Fail
Mission two: Get wasted- Dudu's status: highly intoxicated at the weeeeee hours of the night. Objective: Success
Mission three: Find the "rub and tug" joint. Dudu's Status: drunk but aware enough to ask the cab driver to wait. Objective: complete
Mission four: Get the "rub and tug". Dudu flirts with the pretteist one in the place... whats going on in Dudu's
head "I am getting me a rubbbb and tuggggg baby. After "dealing" with the con artists, dudu gets teased in a room for
about 30 minutes ( sounding familiar yet?) After about $400-$500, the lady throws him out with a set of blue balls
and short money. Objective: Fail. (The kid on the internet did warn him, but dudu thinks he can run good everytime).
Mission five: Get out alive! A huge black guy now escorts the fairly sober dudu down a sketchy narrow back ally.
Dudu tells the guy... "dude, i just want to get the fuck out of here..." as dudu slowly backs away. Guy lets dudu pass
and dudu runs into the cab...gets back to the venetian and passes out. Objective: Mega fail!
Now the best part is how dudu described the situation in the morning... "i am so embarrassed..." that's all he could
say as he told Jay ( who had recovered with about 18 hours of sleep) and I the story... we were laughing so hard. What dudu did next
does not belong on this blog,
and i am sure the 4 readers arent even old enough to hear about his solo expedition into the bathroom with his
laptop.
The next story is about dudu failign once again, nothing new...just reinstating the obvious. We will take this into a third person perspective.
Dudu and moose go to teph's house for some BBQing and to chill. Ratio- 4 guys: 3 Girls. Effective ratio for dudu- 1 Dudu: 1 Bangable girl. Dudu gets
wasted and we proceed to go to the casino. As moose, teph, dudu, and 2 girls enter the casino, dudu decides to takea stroll on the 2-3 foot ledge, over the six
foot wall, just outside of the 6 floor of the parking garage. Fall= death or vitamin depleted Jay pushing drunken dudu around for eternity in a wheelchair. The always
sober/super moose rescues dudu and death averted. Moose then gets hustled by dudu's girl. Bet: 30 minutes dudu gets thrown out of casino or off the table. Time of bet:11:00.
Wager:$50. Girl then escorts dudu around the casino for thirty minutes and moose loses. Hustled/owned. 11:40- Dudu throws a tip at the blackjack dealer and flips out on
johnny- the biggest douche ever. Dudu leaves table and dealer tells pit boss they arent allowed back.(moose would have won the bet). 2 hours later, dudu
drops 3,000+ in drunken blackjack. Dudu is hammered and moosey wants to go to bed. Moose gets dropped off at the rio, as the rest go to the strip. 4:00am dudu
falls asleep on the strip ( Literally on the strip), and teph throws him into a taxi. 4:20 am dudu puts girl in headlock as she refuses to enter tthe room...teph intervenes and
dudu fails again. GG.
too lazy to write more, or spell check..."

Someone should really update this...

2010-06-24T01:59:00.001-05:00

I can't remember half this trip but it was interesting....I think moose kept a diary so we'll let him guest blog.

Oh, The Race

2010-05-25T17:49:00.003-05:00

Oh, so my check withdrawals have voided all the money I have made in the race promo so far. Yay.....

Jay has disappeared, he's not playing poker so he is probably out getting 10$ blowjobs in dark Brooklyn allies. I don't see what else he could be doing, World of Warcraft maybe....

So I lost 16k playing 10-20 in April on Merge, I know not that much, but it was only approx 4500 hands, and my all in ev was reading +17k..... what?

This month is no better for what little cash I have played.... but I am still winning

Sitgos are soooo boring, but they are soooo easy, up over 17k playing like every other day on average in these sitgos for the Month, and there is really no stress to playing them, just boredom, no major swings, I think I lost 5 in a row once.... About as stressful as it gets.

I am a fish, and I am reallizing it, I am not as fishy as my success on 5-10 and 10-20 has been this year (well I am up at 5-10 but 10-20 I am down like 40k this year and 60k below EV, idk what this all in ev means in reality, I know it just calculates your expected when you get your money in... so I know I am running bad but oh well, I am doomswitched at 10-20)

Vegas is about a week away. Stoked about that atleast, I am going to donk something out there for a big cash.... wait

I Think I Have Figured Out The Root Of My Gambling

2010-05-19T12:53:00.002-05:00

Ok, so I am sitting waiting for action today, 1 tabling and I am bored, so I am checking Hockey Cards online.

I decided that this is the root of my gambling, when I was like 6 I started collecting cards and remember thinking there was money in this by the time I was 12 or so, and I used to try to explain to my dad it was profitable. I would never like to buy cards that were already open, I collected a certain group of players but I liked to "pull" them from the pack you know. This was gambling! Sports cards turned me into a gambler!

Man looking at boxes today, I can remember when I was young I would write down a whole list of boxes I would want (and of course never get cause I was a poor kid) but man I could go to town on some hockey cards today! If I had the money I do now back then I would have been like a crack head with those cards....

I gambled at pool too for a while, though I could never had made a living even as a street bum at it, I just liked to gamble, then poker came...

K Neat story huh?

So I have been banging out HU sitgos all fkin month for this "race" promo.

At the beginning I thought I could get to the top tier, then I realized they set it up to where it is literally impossible. So maybe I can get 5k out of it somehow, which is ok I guess....

I dont think I have put enough volume in this month at them anyway, I have tried but it's hard to get action repeatedly, or I sit for 90 minutes without a game then 6 people want to play at one time.... it is weird.

I have managed 504 games for the month 200$ and 400$, I haven't played much cash but I have made a bit playing HU and some scarce 6m which I am trying to avoid after my disasterous downswing.

FTP is letting me run ok, I have been playing 5-10 FR on there the last few days and am up 12 BI just 1-2 tabling... I will be broke on there in a week don't worry.

Here is a neat hand from that

Oh forgot this blog is gay and doesn't let me paste.

Basically, utg with 1550$ limps, SB completes I check BB with A4hh

Flop A A 9 with 2 spades

SB chk Me chk UTG 29$

SB fold Me raise to 100$ utg reraise to 225$ and I call

Turn A - board A A 9 A

I donk out 280 he raises to 750 I ship he calls with Q9.... fun stuff.

One day I will post some pics of my house and stuff, but man that is a lot of work for someone who crawls from my computer to my game chair and ps3 back to my computer to the fridge back to the computer then to sleep....

One day my friends

I know we haven't been updating...

2010-05-17T01:15:00.002-05:00

So here's an old screenshot I found from soem HU battles vs jerry. Not sure if I had posted it or not before....if I did oh well.

I wrote half a draft for an actual update but haven't finished it so bear with me. Also have a dude working on a real site...so anyone who wants to have a blog, can be blog with us.

Yes, I am lazy.

Also I boxed today for the very first time in a looooooong time...well ghetto Boxed...sparred with my friend at 1am in a public park...and got a severe ass whooping.

My face and head hurt.

I've figured out what I've been doing wrong

2010-05-01T10:34:00.003-05:00

In order to win at poker, one must play as absolutely transparent as possible, wait to make hands, and never give your opponent[s] the benefit of being creative. if they bet they have it.

I've figured it out.

One problem: It's hard to make pairs.

Still No Pics Of House, But Hey I AM UPDATING

2010-04-29T00:49:00.002-05:00

Ok, so I have been on mad tilt lately, I am playing bad, running bad, doing bad, I am mad, it is sad.

So I was on one of those upswings, recovering for the year, and then I have shot off this past week, so I am now trying to tone it down and get it fixed, permanently I hope.

But none the less I am running so far below EV too for the past week. I mentally said as soon as my EV graph goes back to normal (neutral, not up or down but it would have to cross into up slightly) from where it was I was going to put 1000$ of my own money in a tourney on Merge for the forum in celebration, and put a bounty on myself probably, sounds silly, but I was really going to do it, and I was so close to back to neutral on there, was under 10k away but we are a landslide from that now. One day this will happen I hope.

I have decided not to leave my house more than twice a month for leisure purposes (drinking, golf, which golf = drinking) until I have obtained 1$ profit for the year. This should take a while, I have been playing 12 hours a day for the last 4 days, maybe more.... and I am having fun atleast. Enjoying playing again, even though I just spewed off a ton and I am stuck miserably I am happy for some reason.

I am getting fat.... I must fix this too. I am not overweight by any means, but my gut is starting to get there, and it is annoying... Like I should have this deal to where every time I take a quick smoke break, I have to do 20 pushups 20 situps and maybe 20 squats or something, I mean that would add up to like 200 a day, and would be good, but I am so lazy.... Jay seems to be a member of a gym, this is too much work for me, this is his only escape from poker, where as I go out binge drinking, golfing, or to my hockey games. Sadly hockey isn't enough to keep me in shape.

Ummm, I hired a personal assistant to come to my house once or twice a week to cook me some meals to eat on, clean, do laundry, go to the store for me, stuff I am too lazy to do once again, but atleast when she is here, I spend all my time playing poker to not seem like I am lazy, even though I look lazy because I wear sweats with my feet reclined on my desk watching my tv while I play, but hey I am playing so it is beneficial.

The casino like 90 minutes from me just opened the greatest game in the world, it is a 10-20 game with 5k min 5k max and you can buy 75% of the big. This game is sick sick juicy. Only runs the first Monday of the month but there is like 50k on the table and only one competent player plays in it and a couple others who are fairly competent. So now I get to go up there every first Monday play that, stay the night (which I get rooms comped now in a 4 star hotel because I am a pit degen, luckily it is all ultimate holdem not blackjack and I am actually up big on it, I run good, anyone who has ever played ultimate holdem, do NOT bet trips, or you are lacking intelligence towards poker) then the 5-10 game goes on Tuesday so it is actually motivating to go up there when it is just not one day that I get to play.

No other real news... probably a ton of stories I have forgotten about while I haven't been posting, I will try to post and gain back some of our readers, it is a ghost town here I am sure. Definitely when Vegas rolls around Jay and I will keep some day to days going there of the stuff we do that is entertaining (mostly Jay letting every woman know that her ass is nice in his New York New York accent and slang)

A response

2010-04-16T19:23:00.003-05:00

This is a blog I wrote in response to a blog written by Hunter "BeachJustice" Bick.

I'd like to apologise beforehand for any grammatical or spelling errors or incoherent writing. I wrote this in notepad while multi-tabling and am too lazy to proof read or re-write anything. Also, I'd like to apologise if the manner of my writing seems angry or annoyed...while some of the things in Hunter's blog
didn't sit well with me, I am far more annoyed at dropping 8k this session. Oh, who am I kidding, the 3 of you who keep up with this blog know very well that I am an eternally angry and annoyed human being. :)

BeachJustice, I would like to welcome you to my blog and hope you stop by whenever you get the urge to read some angry writing from a mean individual. Or a drunk hillbilly (daduweewah)

Please keep in mind this is my opinion. You may agree of disagree, but like everyone with an opinion, I am fairly certain that my opinion is the right one. If you see things differently, feel free to write a rebuttal in the comments section or leave a link there.

So without further adieu:

I used the same format Hunter did. His text is first and my responses follow in Bold.

The term "bumhunter" gets thrown around like crazy these days, and it basically makes no sense at all. Originally the term was coined to describe someone who sits around waiting for heads up action, but refuses to play anyone who is not a total fish. Then it started to mean someone who only plays bad players but not anyone good, so the meaning started applying to more and more people, but the concept remained the same: heads up player who only plays weak players. Some people look down on that, which is their right, but then they bash bumhunters for their high winrate and high earnings by saying they suck at poker because they bumhunt. Alright fine, I don't really agree with that, but at least there's a reasonable thought process behind that argument when it applies only to heads up players.

But now "bumhunter" is being applied liberally to 6max players. How is it even possible to bumhunt at 6max? The very nature of 6max, and the reason I'm getting back into it, is that you simply cannot avoid playing with good players if they are at your table. You have to play pots with them, period. So the answer to that question is, well if there's a fish and 4 regs at the table, then you're bumhunting.

That's just ridiculous, it literally makes no sense.

So what are the criteria for being a 6max bumhunter? Here are the reasons that seem to make up the prevailing "wisdom" and why they are

so ridiculous.

This is just incorrect. First of all, just because you're at a table with another good player does not mean you have to play pots with them. It is possible to go out of your way to not play pots with them...as many "heads up bumhunters" do when they join a 6 max game that is populated by some combination of weak and strong players.

Let's use Hunter's example of 1 fish + 4 regs at a 6max table and our hero takes the 6th seat. He plays 2 orbits, the fish busts, hero then sits out. Four regs continue playing each other, hoping more fish would sit. A fish sits down, hero then sits back in. This is the very definition of bumhunting a 6max game. It does make sense and is absolutely not ridiculous.

#1. They only sit at tables with fish.

First off, why would sitting at a table with 5 other players be a particularly profitable situation? Are we trying to make money at poker or are we here to measure various body parts? I didn't realize that the egos of online poker players have eclipsed their greed. If that's what's happened, then poker just got a lot more profitable.

Secondly, a "fish" on most midstakes tables is someone who's playing a 35 vpip. Thats probably not a profitable style for them, but they are by no means a 60/5 type guy who is bleeding money. Yet even if you make the effort to find tables with one weak player, 80% of your competition is still good thinking players. So if you have a winrate of 3 or 4 BB/100 and are one of the top earners at your limit, despite the fact that everyone tries to find weak players (why else are the waiting lists long when Scout shows up), then you are a bumhunter and suck at poker. The fact is when 80% of your competition are tough, good players and you never have an edge against them, you can't win at 3 BB/100 just by having one fish at your table. This whole train of thought makes absolutely no sense.

I am not exactly sure what Hunters first paragraph is trying to say...why wouldn't sitting with 5 other players be profitable?

Nevertheless, people play for different reasons and maybe some play for ego or a challenge or what not, but many players who are siting in tough games are either pushing small edges over slightly weaker regulars because there are, shocker coming here, no other games available...or they are trying to keep the game alive in the hopes that a weaker player may sit down.

The second paragraph is Hunters idea of what a fish is at midstakes, his idea of the competition, and that even if you game select then you are still supposedly playing tough players. Okay, great...but irrelevant. If you are a bumhunter, it doesn't mean you are bad at poker. Chances are, if you are a bumhunter you may not be as good at poker as someone who isn't a bumhunter but it certainly doesn't mean you can't be better. However, if you go out of your way to play at tables with only complete fish and then stop playing the second the fish leaves, you are a bumhunter! Simple. It is completely irrelevant that there may be good players at the table when you're there.

You are there because the fish is there. Bumhunter, fishhunter, same thing. Again, makes complete sense.

#2. They leave as soon as the fish leaves, and this in turn is bad for games.

Let's get something straight. EVERYONE does this at mid/high stakes. Everytime I play a session, I'll open what looks like a good table from the lobby, only to find the entire table sitting out. Or I'll notice that one of my 12 tables is not running because the fish sat out, so everyone else did too. People don't even wait for their big blind anymore, they just sit out. This is STANDARD, everyone does it, so singling out anyone specific as a bum hunter when they do this is simply ridiculous.

I mean, when Scout leaves the game does everyone keep playing? Of course not, he's driving the action, and he's why everyone is there. This is just how poker works, but suddenly everyone is a bum hunter if they decide to waste their time playing a bunch of other good regulars instead of using that time to find a more profitable table? Some say that you should play an orbit to "keep the game going." Who cares if that one table keeps going or not, there are plenty to choose from, we're online here, its not like we're in a casino where if our table breaks we might have to wait two hours to get another seat.

And how is this bad for the games? A fish leaves, the table breaks. A new fish shows up elsewhere, the table fills up, the waiting list fills up, the fish busts, everyone clears out, and this process repeats itself. This is how its always been, at least since early 2004 when I started playing. And if this is actually somehow bad for the games, why aren't the games dead when everyone behaves in this exact manner, and has for years?

Let's get something straight. NOT EVERYONE does this at mid/high stakes. But yes, it's possible Hunter opens the table finds a table full of regs and bumhunters or super duper game selectors if that's more your alley...and...that is exactly what is wrong with online poker today! What a shocker! I am not sure if this is standard, it may be standard for some people, it may not be standard for others.

Certainly not everyone, as Hunter would have you believe, does this. And guess what, those that do...are...wait for it...BUMHUNTERS! I find it appalling that he says "everyone does it" or it's the "standard"...so because a bunch of people do soemthing, it is acceptable? That's a great theory...why be part of the solution when it's easier being part of the problem? Because everyone does it, right?

Using scout is a great example! Scout, a known losing player, who I am going to assume is well off financially. So this player sits at a 6max 25-50 game that is instantly filled up, this very same player knows he's a losing player and is probably playing for fun, just to have a good time. He burns through 3 buyins and quits. Okay so then the game instantly breaks and all these good regulars quit.

Let's say we had some 5-10 reg watching and maybe he's a weaker player and wanted to take a shot in this 25-50 game. That's an extra buyin to win. Maybe there was a fish, who isn't as loaded as scout, watching and wanted to sit down but got scared when all of the players suddenly sat out to avoid playing each other. That's a buyin. Maybe a fish came 10 minutes too late to find no game available to join because all these regulars think it's the "standard" to quit when a fish does. That's another buyin.

How is a "fish" even supposed to sit down when there aren't games going? In order for a fish to sit, there needs to be a game available to sit in! How is a game supposed to go if everyone decides to wait till a fish shows up? Apparently, I'm really playing at the wrong times because I don't remember the last time I saw a complete fish just sitting and waiting for action...other than bumhunters at heads
up tables.

I think Hunter may still think it is 2004. But it's not. It's 2010. Games are much tougher, fish are scarce. You can't pull up any site and find a fish at every table or loads of tables to join. For example, opening fulltilt I see 15 full 6max games going...out of 96k people online! That's 90 occupied seats. And I didn't bother to check how many are multitabling 6 or 8 of those 15 games. The fact is, the mid/high stakes player pools are shrinking, at least on us sites and not trying to start games or keep them going to welcome recreational players HURTS the games.

Just because the games aren't completely dead, doesn't mean that they aren't dying or at the very least could be better than they are.

#3. They don't help start new tables.

This one is just flailing, here's why. Everyone knows one of the easiest ways to get a seat with a fish is to start a new table, this is online 6max poker 101. Fish don't sign up for waiting lists, they grab the first seat they see. As a result, starting a new table gets them to sit with you, this is basic obvious stuff. So wouldn't it stand to reason that any "bumhunter" would be starting lots of new tables? The argument against that is they "hate playing shorthanded or heads up."

Maybe they can't handle a HU match against a good player while playing 12 tables? They know that, but they also know they are walking away from a potentially +EV spot if a fish shows up. So how exactly are they bumhunting when they pass up this opportunity?I might be one of the few people who often welcomes heads up action when the table dies against a regular, simply because I've played so much HU that I think I have a HU edge when we both have 12 6max tables going. But the fact is if I'm in a couple tough spots elsewhere, its often better to just close the HU table so I can focus on the big-pot decisions. But when someone plays 3 HU hands against me and
then quits, do I think less of him as a person? Do I lose respect for his 6max game?

Do I rush to 2+2 to call him out? Of course not, he's making the best EV decision for his current situation and doesn't want to play heads up or 3 handed while he has a bunch other tables open. How is this not common sense? Why is this such a big deal?

Here's the final reason this take is so ridiculous. Since when were there a shortage of mid-stakes games going on Stars and FTP? Why is everyone all of a sudden so concerned about starting new tables? Why does anyone care about this? Until you get to $10/$20 there are plenty of games going, and new tables fill up quickly. I guess I didn't get the memo that outlined that as a professional poker, one of my obligations is to play with other professionals to start new tables because the 150 already sitting there aren't enough.

Here, I am in agreement with Hunter. Fish don't join lists. The easiest way to get a fish is to start a new table. However, where we disagree is that bumhunters start new tables or games. It is more often than not that they only join a table when a fish joins. I can't begin to count the number of times a reg has set at a table for hours waiting for action. A bad player with 20bb shows up, doubles through the regular once or twice and then the table instantly fills with regulars. 6max bumhunting 101.

Paragraph 2...Hunter plays all players unless he's busy. Totally fine. Nobody plays heads up when they have 12 6max games going. Moving on.

Why does anyone care about starting new games? Other than the obvious need to have games going?

5-10 Games going while I am writing this: Fulltilt: 96k people online, 15 games going. Stars: 170k people online, 10 games going. If you look at smaller sites, 5k people online, 1 game going. And all of this is including shallow and cap games. How in the world is this an abundance of games? What am I missing here?

And of course no says you have to sit and play anyone or help start a game or anything. Hell, feel free to be a parasite and join the game created by the two regulars who spent an hour playing each other heads up hoping that a fish would join. You should immediately run to grab a seat in this game, quickly stack the fish, then leave as fast possible until another fish joins. But you are not a
bumhunter...oh, wait a minute...

#4. They only buy in for enough to cover the fish.

Again, this is standard, smart gambling. Barry Greenstein, in his book "Ace on the River," page 96 said this: "If you are serious about making money, don't put yourself in situations where you can lose a lot and win a little." So if $10/$20 is above your bankroll, but there's a fish with $1k on the table, should you not sit because you aren't comfortable putting $2k on the table or should you sit with $1100 to cover the fish? No one's short-stacking for 20bbs to cover another short-stacking fish, that's just ridiculous and its not the issue here. If the fish has $1k on this table and you buy-in for $2k, the most you can win from the fish is $1k, but you can lose $2k to a good player. That's not a very good option in general, especially if the limit is higher than your normal game. So why not put in enough to cover the fish while also protecting your bankroll? Since when did everyone hate 50bb stacks so much? They don't ruin games like 20bb shortstackers do. What exactly is the problem here.

This is fine. People can buy in for whatever they want if they're scared. Scared money is welcome too...as long as it's in play.

Conclusion

I just think some of Hunters views are simply incorrect and some of the things he talks about are detrimental to the longevity of this game we love to hate.

This has already been a long enough and very repetitive blog so I'm going to wrap this up here. Judge for yourselves.

Since I'm playing poker again...

2010-04-15T17:48:00.010-05:00

I may as well whine about it.

And we all know whining is fun, but the following blog full of ridiculous whining is justified:

Holy shit. I am 4 or 5 hours in to one of the most ridiculous sessions I have played this year...and there have been more than a few. I am currently stuck around 6300$ and it doesn't feel too bad considering I was stuck around 23k palying 10-20.

There are many many ways you can run bad. You can get sucked out on, coolered, whatever....but if you're like me, you can run into one of the most aggressive donks I have ever seen, while they are on a super get smashed in the face with the deck five times over and get blessed by god, jesus, allah, jehova, buddah and whatever else mythical super natural power you or anyone else has ever believed in.

How's that for a run on sentence? I'nm still currently 3 tabling so deal with it.

Anyway back to this insane pit of fire I threw myself in...everybody knows I play as many hands as humanly possible and I could not make a pair or a draw to save my life. Okay, that's a lie, i made a a FEW, very few pairs...but then the board ran off horrendously and I had to fold. Or I would call and get shown a better hand. It was sickening. It was the epitome of a sick heater.

I was just getting 3bet and potted on non stop and had no hands to combat with. I was stuck like 14k at 10-20 HU and like 9 at 6max. The game was so ridiculous, and I was so card dead, I jammed 8's preflop for 5k. I ended up playing like a 16k pot all in preflop with kings vs queens which held and was the begining of my rally.

The whole session was pretty annoying. I am rusty and out of practice playng 4 different stkaes with 2 heads up and one being a short stack while the other is insanely deep...yada yada...need to play more poker to be in game form. Add in that I had to chase around one of our newly merged in leaches and this was a complete catastrophe.

Speaking of this leach...this complete Ahole, in a 6max game, where the whole table is getting murdered by a crazy fish, tries to get the fish to play him heads up. All because the fish was simultaneously playing me heads up...nevermind that I was down like 10k to him at that point...the audacity of these people. This is why there should be a KOTH system so that these people can't even sit at a HU table. or at the very least an option to have Brock Lesnar punch them in the face whenever they do something so classless.

I will be writing a more serious blog on on these matters very soon.

So anyway, here we are...stuck 6k and 1 tabling. Cause when the huge fish leaves...the games break. SURPRISE!

Today reminded me of this time last year...some major fish showed up and start multi tabling the 5-10 6max games and literally destroyed everyone while on the sickest heater. I remember him beating dudu and I for a combined 20k or something one day. He was just on fire...and with our volatile stiles, it was inevitable. I remember dudu figuratively scratching his head on AIM, telling me that maybe this guy wasn't a fish and me laughing at him. This went on for 3-4 days...until...another surprise...heater ended, profit lost, and never heard from again. I think 3up took 20 off him or something...whatever it doesn't matter. What matters is, I'm annoyed I have to run into such infernos every once in a while and then work so hard to get my money back before it is given away to bumhunters...I think i'd almost rather lose to people no one else wants to play...that way I have the option of playing them anytime I want.

And I just 3 outed someone, so all is well again. Only down 4k. It's a win by my standards.

The only time 3up has ever said anything smart

2010-04-12T00:45:00.003-05:00

I remember many years ago, a very tired Jay and very tired 3up were sitting around at 3am talking poker on aim and why we are so terrible at it and, for the first and only time in his life, 3up said something smart:

"To be any good at this game, you have to realize you suck."

Truer words have never been spoken.

But like with anything, over time we evolve, adjust, learn, and grow:

To be any good at this game, you have to knowingly, at some point in your life, play against someone who is so much better than you, you can't even understand the plays they are making.

That's why 3up and dudu suck. They will never admit they have ever played anyone who's better than them...forget about anyone who's ever owned their soul on every street!

Just ask them. F'n ego maniacs! =]

Also, it's 2am, and I want to sleep but I am at 3 tables with dumb fish. One of them is a huge Ahole to boot. How can I sleep?

----

Ok, I feel like rambling randomly for a little while since 3 tabling bores the hell out of me.

Jesus christ, they are so bad. I fold TP on an A high board after a bet and a call and they check the river down to chop w Q high.

There's this one fish from china who is insanely bad but keeps having it and playing terrible so I pay off.

After playing for a while in real games on the majors, it's amusing how truly bad the winning regs are on smaller sites. Majors was the right word since it's like going from the MLB to like a recreational softball league with underhanded pitching and a 72 year old grandmother at first base.

Hit n runs. <3

You know what sucks? When donks give my money to other donks that leave the table. I don't much like that.

Misread hand, cost me $60. Wee.

Just made a mistake.

Like assholes, there are 2 types of haters. Funny haters who hate for shits n giggles, really aren't jealous of anything, and could give 2 shits about the success of others and just worry about their own shit.
And then there are people who are truly jealous and hate becaue of it. Or they hate because they feel someone is undeserving.
Sometimes these haters come in the form of closet haters - the worst kind of hater. Closet haters don't openly hate but are twice as jealous as open haters. They never miss an oppertunity to mention someones success, talent, wealth, whatever...and they always whine and bitch about their own misfortune...no matter how successful they are/arent.

I forgot how good Godsmack is.

3up just signed on, so I no longer have to entertain myself by writing this non sense.

Running bad.

2010-04-11T04:33:00.002-05:00

Playing meh...but running mehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Lost 2500ish playing 1-2 through 3-6.

Nearly lost 3500.

Almost lost 10buyins playing 1-2HU.

This is cool. I play poker 2x a month and lose, 5-6k at a time.

More later, now bust a shortstack and sleeep.

Not gonna lie....

2010-04-01T15:26:00.001-05:00

I was like in the midst of taking pictures of the house, so I could update my side of the blog, but I got reallllly lazy... maybe later. mayyyybe later

Live blogging:

2010-03-31T06:53:00.003-05:00

Play by play updates for play by player readers:

7:35ish am mark: We river the nut flush and check raise overbet ship it. A straight flush calls us.

7:45ish am: We call a small 3bet with KJ from a bad player, who is coincidentally a big winner over a huge sample somehow. The flop comes K9x with 2 clubs. he plays like shit, we lose nearly the minimum by checking back the river and laughing at K9.

7:53am: wWe extract the thinnest value possible with a hand that is only called by a better hand yet somehow holds up at showdown. It pays to be an idiot

8:00 am: We do something stupid.

8:10 am: We are playing way too many hands and we're deep. We're asking someone to stack us for 200bb.

8:15 am: We value own ourselves. Take a $20 and light it on fire.

8:17am: For the damn fksdfgsifaugh 3rd time today someone turns a set/boat when we flopped trips/2pr and we get owned.

8:18am: We punch our desk and yell curses because we suck and run bad. We remind ourselves that we call 3bets and flop bets all the time to get that highly sought after yet very illusive turned set and it's just not fair.

8:19am We whine some more about how the universe hates us and we're now stuck 4k.

8:22am We flop a set and get rivered to lose a small pot. We are annoyed.

8:27am: We muck pocket Queens preflop. We think it may have been a bad fold

8:33am We get sat out with the situational nuts because FTP is a shitty site and slam our fist on the desk. Our hand now hurts.

8:35 We stack some fish.

8:36 Since we do not own the leatherass devcie known as a gatoraid bottle, we sit out to urinate.

8:38 We talk around the house cursing.

8:40 We are annoyed that out of the 6 tables we are playing, only one table has one real total non multitabling fish. But we are pleased that there are weak italians to donate the 240k they are up?!!?! WTF?

8:42 We play badly. cost ourselevs $200.

8:43: Life is bad

8:44 We 4bet A5o, no good will come of this.

8:45 We open 78o UTG. No good will come of this either.

8:50 We realize we are allowed to listen to music when we play the pokers and wonder why we havent been

8:51 50cent tells me im a gangsta

8:52 50 seems like he knows what he's talking about, I 4bet A8hh, win pot. Fist pump. Okay, didn't really fist pump but so what?

8:55 We flop a flush and get it in vs the nut flush. YAY! WTF! We consider tilting, think otherwise of it.

8:56 Something happens but I forget what. It couldn't have been very good.

8:59 We flop top 2, the worst card in the deck turns. We chop, I'm considering this a win.

9:00am We consider ftp despises us.

9:16 We confirm the above when we get involved in a pot with K9 and river 2 pair vs an italian and stack off for 200bb by talking ourselves into he cant possibly play AK this bad......it ahs to be 3 kings or nothing...sdagfafadjfkda. Whatever, my fault. Should have saved $900. Should have vbet river smaller and saved another 150ish. Should have been born smart. Shoulda, coulda. Stuck 5k. Sitting out.

9:20 Walked around the house. Cursed a lot.

9:25 Sat in.

9:26 Accidentally donk posted blind+sb. asdghaJKDGJ!

9:27 MAD AT SELF FOR NOT FOLDING WHEN OBV BEATING NOTHING

9:30 Don't know how to win.

9:42 I do something really really really really really really dumb.

9:47 I 3bet air, they call, I 3bet aces they fold. I'm on tilt.

10:23 WTF am I doing? Stuck 6k.

10:27 Folded baby flush on 7high board after being c/r'd on river.Gonna quit soon.

1045: people don't fold AJo to me from the sb in 4bet pots. Why do they walk me everytime I have aces? i don't get it. someone help.

1055: I am not playing bad enough to be stuck 7buyins!!!!!!! 4 maybe. 7 no

11:00 In a 3bet pot 3 way pot I flop top set, turn is ofc worst card in deck and i bet/fold.

11:01 Very next hand I get kings, it comes ATTss, i lose the minimum to a turned straight, rivered flush.

11:03 Kings walked

11:05: I get it in Ak vs AQ and hold. Stuck 6.

11:06: I make an excellent 5bet with AQ.

11:09 I flop a boat with 89 on 889dd, it gets checked around, they check fold turn.

11:11 I 3bet Aces, it comes A9T, chk chk, he check folds brick turn.

11:18 I flopped TP+2nutflush draw 3ways, turned top 2 and managed to get it in!!111....too bad it was vs a set! FML but i riv the flush so shipitholla

11:19 I'm tired.

11:22 All I feel is pain all I see is rain

11:25 Hem says I'm calling too much pf. Wonder if they'll notice if i Nit up.

11:30 DIDNT I SAY I WASNT GOING TO PLAY LONG SESSIONS ANYMORE AND QUIT AFTER 4 BUYINS?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? <---------------------------------------------!!!!!!!!!

11:31 I hate my life

11:32 Busta Rhymes is awful

11:33 I play a hand terrible.

11:40 This is getting unreal. I 4bet AA pf, 64ss calls The flop comes A95cc, I lose a 100bb pot.How is this possible? If I didn't suck out with that flush vs set, I'd not have won a significant pot since AK vs AQ. I don't get it, I obv play terrible, but how do I play this terrible?

12:20 Tilt. -10k. Victory.

It's a win, it's a win!!!!!!!

2010-03-31T06:22:00.002-05:00

Still 6 tabling, only stuck 3k! First day playing in 3 weeks.

OH SO RTSYU

scrabble.

Win.

Lose.

AA walked/blinds 7/9
KK walked/blinds 6/7

Coolered 23478923/5

Bad player lose the money.

How much do u wanna make it? I call u. Just tell me how much. Oh that much? Okay I fold.

Option B: Your wife and kids. I may regret winning this pot.

How has someone not killed me yet?

Why are you reading this blog and the non sense I write? What kind of a loser reads the blog of an even bigger loser? Look at you, you're pathetic.

Turn off your computer. Go outside. Do something.

A brief update

2010-03-08T13:11:00.000-05:00

I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt. I will not tilt. I will not spew. I will quit when I am on tilt.

Done With Live Poker! For Now!

2010-02-22T17:52:00.003-05:00

Ok so I finished my live poker stint......

Recap, I played like 4 more tourneys afterwards, and I got burned out really bad, because the money wasn't that great.

So I will kinda start where I left off....

I busted 2 tourneys then played a HU event, 64 players max and it filled.

I win my 1st match, and my 2nd match.

3rd match round of 16, (which they paid 16 for some absurd reason) I play a fairly competent guy who limps in and bets every flop and seems to call every raise I make on him, and show down better almost every time or I would muck to another bet with air....

So I get extremely pissed and tilted at this guy.

I opened KK he flats flop Kh 3s 2d, he checks I lead he flats, turn is 10h he checks I lead he flats, river is 8h ( Kh 3s 2d 10h 8h) he checks I bet 1300 (we start with 6k) into about 2k he min raises but only puts 2500 out, and I call and before the dealer ships him the pot with his 2h6h I say his min raise had to go to 2600 not 2500 and I throw him the extra chip out of my stack (courtesy) and I have about 2500 now cause I opened up a lead early.

Ok SO I am now short, and about 10 hands later I make a bet on the river in a hand where I brick and throw my 500 chip out and announce 300, and he calls, the dealer ships him the pot and I ask for my change and I get no change because the dealer who is sitting 3 feet from me nor him heard me announce 300..... so we call floor over, I know what the ruling is going to be, but come on man I gave you the extra chip when you can not even make a correct raise out of courtesy and you think I am trying to scandal you???

So that tilted the fuck out of me we played for another 40 minutes where I squeezed for his BB and stole blinds from the BB and limped every button trying to connect one flop but failed and he beats me when my A9 loses to AQ but oh well.... I had a flash of rage in me when I didnt get my 200 back when I could have let the dealer ship him a short pot cause he is too stoooooopid to make a fucking minimum raise.

I decided that was my last tourney til the main happened. So I played cash games for the next 2 days.

Friday was really slow not one 5-10 holdem or 10-20 holdem snapped off.

So I played 1-2-5 PLO all day (1-2-5 with a rock, 1-2 blinds, 5 to come in, and the winner of the pot gets the rock (5 1$ chips taped together)

So say the cutoff wins the pot he gets the rock and leaves it out, then the hand is dealt, and the button starts the hand PF then goes around the table like that giving the rock the last action.

This sounds like a small game but it isn't, 300 is the minimum buyin which one or two seats will make, but this game had 25-30k on it when time started passing. You can buy in for however much you want.

I flopped the stones in this game 3 or 4 times in a 15 hand span vs 2 fish, and lost every single one of them, I had 9 8 5 6 with diamonds on a 2d 3d 4x board and cant fade A5XX with Ds when we get in on flop, flopped top set vs bottom set and gutshot and lost the pot, and another hand where I flopped a wrap and nut flush draw and lost to a bigger wrap.

So I tilted after this and tried to crack AAXX PF 3 times and failed (its not hard to find AAXX people play those face up.... so I just repotted PF every time and got it in for about 1k at a time and lost all 3, was stuck about 5k in the game at the low point, took a walk got off tilt came back played well sucked out once, not too bad, was 9 outs... and went on with my life got even made 500$ and went to sleep.

The next night we are playing 5-10 with a 25$ button straddle NL Holdem, this is a huge game... This game had 75-100k on it by nights end, and everyone seemed to be stacked 10-15k deep....

I played 2 interesting hands..... well 1 isn't interesting its kamikaze on me....

I have K2c on the button the C/O has been opening to 85-110 prob 30% of the hands, being very agg.

So I flat his raise in a 3way pot (he is about 7k deep)

Flop 7c 5d 2s

He leads 165 I make it 450 he makes it 950 and I flat

Turn is a 6h BUT WAIT, the dealer prematurely peeled this card so it goes back in, and they deal the river out then shuffle the turn back in.

So the turn is a Jh now

he leads 700 I make it 1900 and he flats.

River coming, 6h AGAIN!

C'man ship me a K or 2, I got rid of a dead card when I was going to brick 6h Jh and I go Jh 6h

So he checks and threatens that he isn't going anywhere...

So I move all in about 5 seconds after he says this and he snaps me with AA

Could not rep a set there, was about a 13-14k pot and I was stuck almost 10k.... sigh....

BUT Luckily I have history with a mega fish there and doubled up from 6500 to 13k

Long story short, fish leads flop and turn with Qs Jh on Qh 10h 7h board and I have AhJd

3h on riv unpaired board he bets approx same as he did on turn and I overship for like 4500 more and he tanks and calls.

Then I got sick value out of AA one hand, betting 3 streets on 10c 8c 6d 5d 7c and taking a little over 1200 that hand, but was very happy to bet river and get called by a mucking hand.

Ok so the interesting hand....

Utg opens to 100 mid flats and I have AK in the C/O and I make it 440$ and both flat.

flop Kd Jc 2h

Both check to me and I check

turn Qd

UTG leads out 700 mid folds and now its to me, and I take about 10 seconds in folding... This is an interesting hand to me for some reason....

I mean I know he can not lead the turn with air here, I have to be behind somehow, but what if a rag peels the turn? What if I bet the flop? I wasn't going to bet the flop here because we were all so damn deep and I had no intentions of playing a 1,000 BB pot with 1 pair like my friend with the AA, I planned on flatting turns or betting turns and possibly folding rivers. So not really an interesting hand, but he showed me KK so it seemed it could have been a disaster hand for me.

So I ended up breaking even in that game, stupid me to try to bluff a guy off AA..... I found out later the guy is worth like 100M owns a ton of car dealerships etc etc, information that would have been useful a little earlier....

The most fun part of this night though was we played "lodden thinks" idk where this game came from but I saw people in australia playing it and it was funny, so this kid sits down and he is just beligerantly drunk and it struck me that he would be the perfect Lodden...... He was the perfect Lodden and more...

So for anyone who doesn't know how to play, all it takes is 3 people, 2 people betting and 1 person answering the questions. The 2 people betting take turns asking Lodden the Qs

Example, I ask this kid what size waist he thinks someone at the table wears, he comes up with the answer in his head, the 2 people betting come up with what they think Lodden thinks, then we put our answers in our phone, Lodden tells us what he thought and whoever is closest wins.

We were asking the kid how many hands he played at the casino this week, he thought he played 4200 hands, we asked him what size waist one of the players had, the guy had a 34 waist the kid guessed 42, we asked him how much money was in my stack (i had 14k he guessed 5k) we asked him some other stuff I can't remember, none of the questions were out of line or anything we were just having fun, this kid could barely keep his head up....

So we ask him another Q and he stares me down, and says "How about we go outside and I beat your ass, how do you like that answer" the whole table busts up now, cause I am not a big guy, but this kid is a heck of a lot smaller than me... So he says this line about 5-10 times with laughter coming each time, then he apologizes to me, cause we know each other kinda, then he threatens me again then apologizes, then tries to figtht the biggest guy at the table... he takes a walk talked to some friends I guess and has a new line when he gets back.... He now keeps saying on top of the original line. "I am a grown ass man and I will take you outside and whip your ass if you keep fucking with my character" He keeps asking us if its funny, we say yes then he goes back to saying his lines... Was very comical.... He busted soon after, he only bought in for like 2k but it didn't last too long.

So I go home go to sleep and get up to play the 3k Main event.

So I get to the main event and play for 2 hours, I pick up a few pots go from the 15k start stack to 20k, then I get a cooler vs a fish, but I probably could have salvaged some chips... but I am too agg, and want to stack people every hand I played.

I have AhKd and open the button 3x to 100, SB makes it 1300, BB flats I flat, I wish I had folded here, but... I mean in normal tourneys online, my hand is probably a ship 95% of the time, but people don't 3bet light in live tourneys around here, mostly fish.... though the SB was a really good player.

Well flop is Kh Qh 3d

SB checks BB bets 2k I flat SB folds

Turn is a 5h BB bets 3k I ship he calls off 9k more with QQ and I brick the river.

I could have folded my hand PF, I could have folded it on the flop, I could have folded on the turn, though I think I have to flat the turn at this point with a heart draw. But I could have mucked my hand twice for sure, and even the turn I should be mucking, but was 3k to call into 11k when he has 9k behind.... Basically I am a fish and didn't want to play I guess....

So I came home to play online, and I am getting back to work, I have a lot of work to to make up some losses from Australia and here.... Gonna be a long couple months especially with no action on PDC, been planted at HU tables for 6 hours now without a bite.

One more funny thing about the main, I had an over under bet with a guy for 500$, whether or not there would be 60+ players, 59 or less he won 61 or more I won, and 60 meant we flipped a coin for the 500$...

They take late registration for 1 hour, about 40 minutes in its at 59 players has been stuck on 59 for about 20-30 minutes now, and low and behold the guy I bet with comes and sits down next to me with ticket #60 haha and 60 holds and we flip a coin and I won the flip.

There you go a long terrible update

When I get around to it I will post pics of my new house, my poker setup etc cause I said I would and I have been lazy thus far in doing so. I will promise that in my next post

Something has to change.

2010-02-20T18:08:00.003-05:00

Okay.

I've had enough. I am sick of myself and I am sick of going on idiotic tilt 3 times a month and cutting my monthly profits in half. Every year I throw away 150k doing this.

Last night I played worse than I have all year or maybe ever. It was so bad, it was almost unbelievable. I literally got smashed in the face with the deck and managed to LOSE 30K!!!!!

HOW DO I DO THAT?!

And it all boils down to the same thing I have always said not to do that I keep doing.

1. Playing when extremely tired/falling asleep.
2. Playing insanely long sessions.
3. Playing on tilt.
4. Not having a stop loss.
5. Not being able to walk away with a losing session.

I can't do this anymore. I either need to change this or I need to quit poker.

I am very serious. How long can I continue to be self destructive and turn hard work and grueling hours of grinding into misery because I am stuck 3 buyins and don't want to book a losing session? Sure there are times when I pull it together and get it back, but there are times that the wheels fall off completely and I end up spewing for no reason.

Sometimes my brain just turns off.

So here we are and this is that crucial point people have in their careers: I will either over come this flaw or I will quit.

1. I will NOT play when I am tired or not feeling it. I don't care who's playing. I don't care if the biggest fish in the world is playing 5 buy ins deep. If I don't want to play, if I am tired, if I am on tilt, I WILL NOT PLAY. The end. Absolutely no questions. No desire = no game.

1a. There is a good chance, considering I hate poker, I will never again want to play...or not want to play often enough...in this case, I will designate X hours, when I am feeling good and thinking clearly to play.

2. I will quit whenever I feel like I am going to tilt. if I do not recover in 20 minutes or less, I will walk away. No questions asked. If I do not walk away when I am tilting, I will send Dudu $100 for every hour I play on tilt.

3. I am designating a 4 buyin stop loss for any game 5-10+ and a 5 buyin stop loss for any game 3-6 and below.

4. I will not play more than 6 hours a day.

4a. If I am focused and calm, I may play 8 hours.

5. I will try to play shorter sessions. Ideally, I will break the sessions down into either 3 2 hour sessions or 2 3 hour sessions.

6. I will invoke SOME game selection. Instead of playing tough or semi tough opponents when there is no action, I will spend as much time as I can stomach reviewing my play and studying the game away from the tables.

7. I will try to play at least 30 minutes a day of PLO.

8. I will balance out my life by returning to both weight training and kick boxing. Poker will not interfere with either of these activities.

9. I will not alienate my friends during hardcore poker binges - which will be coming to a stop.

10. I will not be a complete retard tilting moron.

If this list is not completed and this tilt issue is not COMPLETELY fixed by WSOP time...If I still go on crazy sick spew sessions...it will be my last WSOP and I will quit poker.

I spend way too many hours and way too much time playing to just tilt my profits away. If I can't do this, I'll...I don't know...go write brothel reviews or something.

I may take the next few weeks off, I don't know.

Whatever the case is...I am very unhappy with myself. Here's hoping that I am not as dumb as I think I am and can overcome this.

Good luck me.

J

I am retarded.

2010-02-20T04:33:00.001-05:00

Promise to explain fully later when I am not on insanity tilt. I swear I am dumb. I cannot even understand. Why I am so dumb but I am just dumb.

That is my life. I am an idiot.

I don't learn. Only idiots never learn.

Day 3 (of 11) of Aussie Punishment, Sick Slide Graph, Very Little Bitching?

2010-02-15T03:19:00.004-05:00

First off this is my graph of headsup play since about November.... November, December, they went well, I was up about 55k? Running neutral EV.... (incase you dont understand these graphs, the thick green line is profit, the thin one is my "expected value" (expected all in value) So this is where I should be... Now I admit, I could cut down some of the losses from tilt.... I do tilt bad sometimes. But it is just the sickest thing ever. The downslide started about 12-13k hands ago, and I lose 100K????? Running over 50k below EV???? Tilting a bunch off because it is happening so fucking quickly????? WTF!!!!!

So my PDC roll is a little lighter now and it sucks....

I have been grinding slowly at FTP and PS, and almost decided to quit, I have an "hourly" of over 110$ an hour at 1-2 on both sites but you can't do that all day long. I have 16-20 tables loaded and it just wears you out, I play an hour then I quit. I go dick off on PS3 or something else for a couple hours and then decide I still am not looking forward to playing again so I don't. If I ever feel the need to make 1k a week for the rest of my life, I know where I will do it. But I have bigger ambitions of course, as I promised to make 350k this year but I am starting about 110k in the hole so this is going to be difficult now. I have faith though, luckbox a tourney and I am gold.

So I decided for punishment for the way I treated the trip to the Aussie Millions I would play all 11 of the Oklahoma State Championships of Poker events.

Day 1 was PLO, I cashed (kinda fluked, 131 entrants, 14 pay, we were round for round and I busted 15th but someone busted behind me so we chopped 14th... profit of 15$ off my 340$) (total play, 11 hours) (+2 hours on cash before the tourney, lost 1300$ playing 2-5)

Day 2, NLH 100k guaranteed. This event drew over 800 players somehow, I finished 20th for 1600$ profit of 1300$, sigh... time played, 15 hours

Day 3, just got home, was Limit O8, 92 entries, 10 pay, I get 10th.... lost a couple pots late, somehow cashed.... Had one big blind when we sat down with 10 left... time played 12 hours

Tomorrow, PLO8

All buyins are 340$

So why is this punishment? Well because other than the 800 player NLH I dont think a single tourney will pay over 20k to winner. As if I am going to win one, but hey atleast I have cashed all 3, kinda.

I am doing it as kind of "training" to be able to play long hours day in and day out live, and not have the luxury of my PS3 or cable tv or couch to nap or go eat when I want to etc etc. I have treated every live poker trip I have ever made very poorly, and I am starting to reallize how much money I have pissed away doing that. It is terrible the way I go on trips for poker, I go get super drunk play table games, give money away playing poker, strip clubs etc etc, and I am finally realizing how important it is to treat poker more like a "business" and not a hobby considering I dropped out of school to play poker and this has been my source of income for 5 years in May and I want it to be my source of income for atleast 5-10 more years.

Live poker typically is a vacation for me, even if it is close to home, it is a chance to get out of the house socialize with people who have the same ambitions (of being a degenerate gambler as such I guess) and obviously typically get hammered drunk.

I have not had anything to drink other than a couple redbull and vodkas (despite the fact I hate them) to keep me awake the first day since I was coming off my fucked up sleep schedule.

So 8 more days, it is a grind, I won't make much money unless I get top 3 in the main event they have which is a 3k buyin.

The reason I probably decided to punish myself, they are giving 5k to whoever accumulates the most points during the series of events, and I am going to win it.... Though I was told tonight how they are "supposedly" keeping the points, and it is fucked, but I will still win I think thanks to the deep run in the 800 player field. Basically you get 1 point for entering the tourney, and 1 point more for every place "inside the money" you get. So the 800 player field payed 72 places, winner gets 73 points, I got 53 points, so catching him is very doable if I get top 3 in a couple of the small fields. Since I don't think any other tourney is paying more than 20 spots, it could actually backfire, hopefully not though, I have cashed all 3 so I am playing well for the most part. Another incentive, you get a RING!!!!!!!! Which I can wear when I am wearing my HPT Jacket!!!!!!! Or just put the ring in the pocket of the HPT Jacket and hang it deep in my closet.

Ummmm other than that, nothing else to say.... Hopefully I don't snap before this ends, and hopefully I gain some valuable attributes to help myself when I go to play poker out of town. Turning away cocktails for water is so tough to do but getting easier for me.... I am such a lush....

I am so sick of FT.

2010-02-11T10:55:00.003-05:00

How is it every session I play I am stuck 5k with a positive adjusted ev? So great.

So a few days ago I finally snapped and went on world famous Jay Tilt and turned what was a +10k month on FT into a -4k month. Great. So now I hate myself.

So after tilting off what was going to pay my bills, I decided to take a break. Of course, that only lasts until I open the software, see a donk at 10-20 and lose 2 coin flips to him. Then he leaves and the game breaks. This is followed up by fish coming to play heads up, who sucks out, wins some flips, coolers me, etc. Wins 2 buyins, leaves. Then this fish is either replaced by a nitty reg or someone who's actually good. Nitty reg will quit unless I spew to him, good player will annoy me because I'm already annoyed at having to play a good player after fish keep leaving. FJHDFJKSDHFJKHDJF

On an amusing side, many of the regs are pretty bad with more leaks than dudu after he's eaten an eigth of psychedelic mushrooms and snorted 5 lines of meth.

So I'm stuck like 7-8k at fullofshitpoker now. Great.

I guess I ran good there at some point in my life (although I do not remember this) and am now paying for it. Wonderful. Please, more of this. MORE I SAY.

Pulling My Hair Out!

2010-02-09T15:42:00.002-05:00

Ok so I am just in Jerry mode again, I run like shit vs Jerry, even though he is a bad PLO player, I can't even explain how many bad spots I got into with Jerry or the guy I just finished playing at 5-10 but I lost an arm and a leg, I have like one more deep session in my PDC acct before I have to drop and rebuild.... I am so so so tilted right now....

My HEM isn't running so I can't see how far below EV I am running last few days but my favorite hand played today was vs a fish at 5-10 PLO HU

I have 3 4 5 6 double soooted

We are about 3500 deep each (well I was covering him, but this hand turned it around)

I open, he 3bets to 90 I 4bet to 270 he makes it 810, I flat.

Flop THE NUTS

2 3 5 with 2 spades, I have no spades....

He checks, I bet like 1200, he ships I call

he has A 10 9 5 with no spade draw......

Board is 2 3 5.....

5.........

9........

Ship almost 7k to him

I tilt and get coolered more, will admit I was building big pots with marginal hands but..... I was still getting coolered ridiculously.

Towards the end of my session the guy I am playing is literally doubling me with TPTK in PLO and beating my ass.... All I need is 2 pair and I double up, then I make a set or something and start jamming and he backdoors something crazy that I give him no credit for having because he is paying me off so light I keep jamming into his backdoored nuts after he doubles me, so I go 100bb to 200bb then coolered then repeat...... yay

I am just proud of myself for not breaking anything during this session, I was punching my mouse to fold for a bit.

FU FTP

2010-02-07T08:43:00.004-05:00

Played 6k hands straight to finish stuck 3500 with an adjusted ev of +6k. Absolutely fantastic.

This is how I'm running:

SB: $738.00

Hero (BB): $1338.00

BTN: $1015.00

Pre Flop: ($15.00) Hero is BB with 7 8

1 fold, SB raises to $20, Hero calls $10

Flop: ($40.00) 6 9 5 (2 players)

SB checks, Hero bets $25, SB raises to $50, Hero raises to $145, SB raises to $240, Hero raises to $1318 all in, SB calls $478 all in

Turn: ($1476.00) 9 (2 players - 2 are all in)

River: ($1476.00) 6 (2 players - 2 are all in)

Final Pot: $1476.00

SB shows K 9 (a full house, Nines full of Sixes)

Hero shows 7 8 (a straight, Nine high)

SB wins $1475.00

(Rake: $1.00)

Played fairly badly for half the session tho...got into some ugly spots that should have been avoided and some folds should have been made. Played really well the other 50% of the time.

Play grade: B+

Slowrolling - as far as I'm concerned there's no such thing as slow rolling in online poker 99% of the time. I've been falsely accused of slowrolling in the past, the truth is I was just busy multitabling. So because someone doesn't insta call you with the nuts, doesn't mean they're slowrolling you...they could be busy elsewhere. Sometimes, you might even hit time bank just to slow the action down. For example, lets say you're playing 6 tables and you have a tough decision to make on 2 or 3 of them and a simple call with aces on another, you might hit the timebank just to buy yourself some time between hands to focus on the two tough decisions you have. Plus even if people aren't multitabling, they could be busy watching tv, surfing the web, chatting on AIM or whatever.

On the other hand, if it is quite obvious they are slowrolling you on purpose, proceed to rules of engagement.

J